“Ouch!” I said, before realizing it wasn’t a stranger after all. “And also, sorry.”
Elijah looked more shocked than me. I peered behind him. He was on his own. Not that I was looking for Ru. And not that I was already brushing off breadstick crumbs (they’d been my toilet snack) in case he appeared.
“I’m not eating here,” Elijah said, in what I think was most definitely a flap. “I’m just on my way somewhere more … high end.”
If that was true, I wasn’t sure why he had a napkin tucked in his shirt, but who was I to point it out? But I didn’t want to chat either, as I didn’t want Grace finding out about Ru before I’d had chance to tell her what had happened, and even more importantly, I didn’t want to risk her dough balls going cold.
“Grace, Elijah, Elijah, Grace,” I said quickly, before turning to Grace. “OK to catch you up in a sec?” She said it was fine and carried on downstairs. But there was one thing I wanted to check with Elijah. “I hope that Kyle wasn’t in trouble,” I said, ducking out of the way of a waitress carrying platefuls of pasta. Elijah looked at me like I was talking about hanging up pickles. “He didn’t mean to be gone so long but I accidentally got us locked in.”
“Ahhhh.” Elijah nodded, finally catching up. “He didn’t mention that. Typical Kyle.”
“So he’s not in trouble?”
“Sadly, not as much as I would like.” Elijah suddenly smiled unnervingly sweetly. “But I am glad I ran into you actually. I had no idea the cutest little elf had been so very busy…” He said the E-word! In a panic, I scanned around, checking no one heard.
“Can you keep your voice down, please?” I hissed. Even one more person knowing was one person too many. And what did he mean about being busy?
“Sure. If you tell me if you’ve reconsidered my invite to the Sleigh Another Day events?” I shook my head firmly. I’d made it through the premiere without being recognized, and now I was even more determined to avoid all things film-related and keep it that way. “The Liverpool Docks lights switch on this weekend?” I shook my head. “Edinburgh then? We’re building a whole winter wonderland at the castle. You can meet the cast…” I was still shaking my head. “All ending with a bonanza on a boat on the Thames.”
Not even as tempting as a single crumb of dough ball.
“Sorry, Elijah, but it’s not my thing.”
He put his hands on his hips, like Billy does when someone calls a horse a “pony”.
“But Elf Girl all grown up and onstage with Maeve and Joseph. Imagine…” OK, I imagined it … and hated everything about it. “Such a better press story than what happened today. A dangerous fan on the loose and all that.”
“Elija—”
“It would all be so romantic. So Chrismagical.” That wasn’t even a word. “You could bring your boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever, for some special Christmas memories…”
I rolled my eyes. “Not my scene, sorry. And my bestie is the only other half I need.” So he could stop trying that route.
“OK, well, in that case. There is one thing I haven’t mentioned. Since we last met things have changed a little.”
Why was he fishing his phone out?
“I may have seen the CCTV footage of the fan going on a rampage with poor Maeve.” My blood ran cold. And would everyone stop saying rampage?! It was an accidental trip!! “So, unless you want the world to find out you were the one that thought it was a good idea to attack the nation’s sweetheart with a very painful-looking sign, I respectfully suggest you say yes to coming to whatever event I invite you to.”
Had all the potpourri fumes in the loo made me lose my mind or … was Elijah blackmailing me?!
“But … it-it was an accident?” I realized I was gripping on to the handrail, the stairs suddenly feeling all wobbly. “An accidental dog-based trip!? It wasn’t even my sign?!” No one could even know I was at the premiere! Let alone the fan on the rampage! OH NO, NOW I WAS EVEN THINKING IT TOO! There was no way I’d be able to explain any of it. I’d be totally outed as Elf Girl!
“Sure, I saw the whole thing. But if just the last five seconds got leaked online… From the other angle, with Little Elf Girl’s face looking so very shocked…” He winced. “I’m really not sure the world would see it that way. Imagine what all those Maevenators would say…?” Elijah shook his head, as if trying to dislodge a terrible thought. “Doesn’t bear thinking about. So, how about we keep this our little secret?” He winked. “You come to Liverpool, show the world who Elf Girl is now, give the press something nice to talk about, and I will keep this footage away from any naughty, prying eyes who would love to go viral with it.” I watched in horror as the video looped again. “Deal?”
CHAPTER
7
TO DO:
•Ideas for lyrics (not about Simon treading barefoot on every single pine needle in the
•world) Survive the last days of schoooooool
•Raid Mum and Dad’s fancy-dress box
•More ideas for lyrics (not about attacking Simon with mechanical snowman)
•Not think about Saturday
•Start geography assignment
“Late night Christmas shopping is fun,” they said! “The shops look magical,” they said!
No one mentioned it would be minus one million degrees and I’d either be freezing outside or sweating under my scarf and coat and hat inside, as everyone grabbed candles like it was The Hunger Games.
“Having fun?” Grace asked, clutching the calendar she’d just picked up for her dad, full of photos of the two of them. I shuffled my body to block out the couple behind me, who were all over each other.
“So much!” I said, trying to smile.
“ALottaWaffle, here we come!” she said, looping her arm through mine. I grinned. Grace wanted to take me to try out their festive menu for the first time ever, and if novelty waffles made her happy, I was MORE than in. Tonight was the night she was meant to be celebrating her anniversary with Slymon, so instead we were having a shopping, snacks and sleepover evening, and in the interim I was on a mission to hide how much I hated being out and about doing Christmas stuff. Grace didn’t need to know that ever since the premiere all I’d wanted to do was hide inside, especially now the film was in cinemas, because this wasn’t about me.
All week Grace had been bursting into tears whenever she heard certain songs. Or certain shows came on. Or even when it rained. Apparently that reminded her of Slymon too. As did grass. Hot drinks. And tables. Recovery was going to take a while. With everyone else Grace had been putting on a brave face. Partly to make Simon think she wasn’t totally devastated, and partly so her dad didn’t suspect they’d broken up and get even more worried about everything. Last night Grace had also admitted to me she didn’t think it was OK to look miserable when you were surrounded by tinsel.
And I’d been trying to be the friend she needed – the Christmassy friend she needed. I swear my Spotify thought it had been hacked due to my sudden interest in Now That’s What I Call Christmas 1,000! And I hadn’t got round to telling Grace about Ru, even if he did keep popping up in my head. But that was just because he was the first proper American person I’d ever chatted to. Yes. That was a very normal reason to keep thinking about a boy.
“The PERFECT spot for some Grotto plotting, amIright?” Grace said as the cute cafe came into sight. Its windows were steamed up and they’d wrapped a huge light-up ribbon from top to bottom and left to right, like the building was one giant present. Arm in arm we walked in, the warm air hitting us as quickly as “Jingle Bell Rock” on the speakers. My Christmas playlist must be getting to me as I found myself singing along. The cafe had NOT held back. There were lights hung from the ceiling, red-and-white candy cane ribbons wrapped around the chairs and even mini Christmas trees on the counter.
“Sure is,” I said, as we grabbed the massive sofa. I saw Grace check to make sure it was a SFZ (Simon-Free Zone). “Clear.” I nodded, confirming we were safe. “So…” I flopped down. “Are you ready to put the fun in fundraiser? Eat so much pudding we feel sick, sort of dizzy and sweaty – but in a good way?”
Grace grinned. “Yu-huh.”
Good. This evening was working. But as I turned to tug my coat off, I jumped. Argh! On the next table were Zaiynab and Matt. Who, almost two weeks after seeing them at the switch on, still hadn’t got back to me about the band.
I waved feebly and wished I wasn’t wearing the penguin jumper Grace had lent me.
“OMG! Look!” Grace pointed out the window. “In fact, don’t. DO NOT.” All I could see was condensation. “Unless you want to see a poster for Sleigh Another Day. On the side of a bus? Which come to think of it … did I even see at all?”
Eurgh. I dropped my head on to the table with a bang, before remembering Zaiynab and Matt might see, so tried to style it into a very vigorous rummage in my school bag instead. I was so OVER that film! Half our school had seen it this week, and the corridors had been full of people humming “Love Your Elf!”. It was torture. Luckily, no one had figured out we’d been at the premiere, and no one suspected that my mum and dad were The Brussel Shouts. Just how I needed it to stay, which was going to get trickier as Elijah had been in touch with my parents to sort me going to the event in Liverpool this weekend. I was dreading it. Grace had been checking social to make sure no one had figured out who #dreadcarpetgirl was and I’d dodged that too. Plus, full-time super sleuthing had been a good distraction for her and it meant I hadn’t had to see anything about the film, so a double win.
I finished fake rummaging in my bag and pulled out the unopened envelope I’d stuffed in there this morning. It was finally time to open it. I knew what was inside, but seeing made it even more real. More terrifying.
ADMIT TWO: LIVERPOOL LIGHTS UP! GET FERRY AND BRIGHT AT THE SLEIGH ANOTHER DAY WINTER WONDERLAND LIGHTS SWITCH ON! RIDE THE FESTIVE FERRIS WHEEL AND FEAST ON SANTA’S SNACKS AT THE ALBERT DOCKS AS THE CITY GETS LIT!
The thick gold invitation reflected my face back at me – and it didn’t look happy. How was this tomorrow? I wasn’t mentally prepared. But when I’d messaged Elijah to say I wasn’t sure I could do it, he’d sent a screengrab of my face from the red carpet and suddenly I’d decided maybe I could after all. But with one condition – he had to let Grace come with me. The perfect thing to keep her mind off Simon.
“Remember The Plan,” Grace said calmly, plucking the invitation out of my hand. I’d told her that Elijah had invited me to show the world what Elf Girl looked like now. I may have kept the whole blackmail thing out of it, as I didn’t want her to worry or not come, so I said agreeing to it had been my idea to make it up to my parents after the premiere. “You just have to turn up. Do everything as we planned. And I’ll be on the ground checking social. Elijah can’t say you didn’t show the world Elf Girl. But your identity stays hidden! Job done.” I smiled weakly. Grace made it sound easy, but if anything went wrong I was at serious risk of being unveiled as Elf Girl. I had to hope Elijah wouldn’t freak out either, but he had said I could access “a glam squad” – and I’m just taking up his offer. “Mol, I promise, if I managed to look unbothered when I was made to sit by Simon in chemistry earlier, anything is possible.”
