I tried not to react. “There may be more … anywhere up to seven is my guess.”
But as he laughed more popcorn fell on to the floor. I picked it up. Why? What was I going to do with it? Eat it? I shoved it in my pocket. Great. Now it looked like I was saving hair-floor-popcorn for a snack.
“I’m not going to eat it later. If that’s what you’re thinking?”
“I wasn’t.” He shook his head side to side. “But – now I am.” His accent made everything sound cool – he could probably say “I fell in a puddle” and still sound smooth.
“To be clear, I didn’t mean to assault you.” He was definitely keeping a safe distance. “Or should I say A-SALT.” I cracked up. Ten per cent joke, eighty-nine per cent nerves (one per cent I had no clue about anything after the day I was having). “Like salt. Salted popcorn.” But he was giving me a funny look. “Because I threw it all over you?” I added feebly.
“Have we…” He squinted. “Have we met before?” Oh no. OH NO. Please tell me he didn’t recognize me from my red-carpet disaster! He might tell his boss! Was tripping into a Hollywood star a criminal offence? Or even worse, did he recognize me because of that stupid theme song? He leant forward and ruffled his hair. Yet more popcorn fell out. Was it multiplying?! Where was it even coming from? Was his hair a black hole of popcornicity? “Were you at the team meeting earlier?”
“Nope.” I wasn’t elaborating. “Not me. We’ve never met.” There was NO way I was admitting I was a Maeveattacking, family-band-singing weirdo, who only thirty minutes ago had got a message from her best friend saying her youngest sister was neighing at the opening credits. Oh, and that I’d locked him in with me.
“So you don’t work here?” He was still giving me that look.
I shook my head innocently.
“Weird. Your face feels familiar.” My heart raced. I could not handle an Elf Girl conversation right now. Emergency subject change needed.
“Just one of those faces I guess? Anyway.” I cleared my throat, like we had much more pressing matters to discuss. “Shouldn’t you be at the screening?” His eyes narrowed suspiciously, like I was about to let the cinema know he was bunking off. It didn’t help that I glanced down at his name badge. What did it say … Kyle? “Intel is the Love Villa crew have got serious ice-cream demands.”
He looked relieved and sank back on to a black leatheresque armchair. His phone was already in the drink holder. “Nah. It’s my break. Consider me fully off duty right now.”
“Free snacks, free films and getting to hide back here? Sounds like a great job to me.” Grace’s idea of heaven.
“It is until someone catches me. I technically, maybe, should have been back ages ago. But.” He looked around. “In here seemed way better than the chaos out there.”
I nodded. “Hard agree.”
“And I can really recommend these…” He looked at the big squishy armchair attached to the other side of the armrest drink holder. I sat down, his chair rocking back a bit as I did.
“Nice, huh?” Kyle asked, his eyes closed.
For a split second I relaxed. It really was nice. But then it all came flooding right back. Maeve. Elf Girl. If Grace was currently sniffing Joseph thingy’s hair.
“Soooo.” I stretched back. “Hold on to those vibes. Cos I might need to tell you I think I’ve locked us in.”
Kyle opened his left eye. I turned my head to face him. It was the first time I’d properly looked at him. At those dark brown eyes. Tiny scar on the bridge of his nose. A splatter of dark freckles running up his face. His black hair just a tiny bit longer than being shaved. The thin gold chain around his neck.
“So it’s not my fault my break is going to be even longer?” He grinned. “The good news keeps coming.”
“Are you not enjoying the premiere then?” Surely to work in a cinema you’d be into that kind of thing?
“No way.” He turned his head to face me too. “They’re always bad, but this one is a complete mess! Everyone lost their heads after that fan attack on Maeve Murphy.” Fan attack?! Did he mean me!? What was the world record fastest time for a face going bright red? Whatever it was, I’d just beaten it. Did they really think I’d attacked her?! Luckily he had his eyes closed again, so didn’t know he was sitting next to a human beetroot. “And if I hear that ‘Love Your Elf!’ track one more time, I might do something I regret with a candy cane.” OH MY JINGLE BALLS. “It’s been on loop all day. All weekend…”
I laughed. Slightly hysterically. A mixture of fear, panic and trying to pretend this was all OK. Trying to pretend that stupid song had absolutely nothing to do with me! Nor the Maeve thing! I’m actually very, very normal! Here I am just laughing at how normal this all is! Hahahahahaha.
“Yup.” Deep breath. “It’s the worst.”
“And that little kid!” He opened his eyes and shook his head. “’... the cutest little elf in the whole wide world!’” he started to say with the best impression of the elf’s voice. Of my voice.
“STOP!” I said, holding my hand up. “Or I’ll find more popcorn to throw.”
He laughed. “Maybe that’s why that fan went on the rampage with that sign.” It wasn’t a rampage?! It was a badly timed fall! “That song pushed them over the edge.” He had no idea how right he was, but I wasn’t even slightly tempted to tell him what had really happened. “Funny, though. Want to see the video?”
“Nothankyou,” I said almost before he’d finished speaking. “I don’t really like…” What? “… videos?”
“Right.” He blinked. “So … maybe a stupid question, but if you don’t like videos.” He paused. “And if you don’t work here, then why are you here?”
Ah.
“I’m here.” Gulp. “At this cinema.” I was speaking on half speed. “Because…”
OK. Here it was. The choice. Fess up to who I was. Risk him figuring out where he did maybe recognize me from. That my family were The Brussel Shouts. That I was the fan who stopped the whole premiere…
Or…
“Because…” I scanned the room. But all I could see was props from the premiere. A fake sleigh. Giant branded baubles. A bag of reindeer feed … ohhhhh. “My family brought the reindeers here.” What was that prang in my stomach? Oh yes. IMMEDIATE REGRET. Why didn’t I just say something normal like “my mum is a lawyer on the film”. Whyyyy?
He cooed, impressed. What did Grace say about extending the truth? Details made it believable. Less likely to get caught out.
“Yup. My family are reindeer handlers. That is what they do. But other than that, they are very, very normal people.” Kyle nodded, his eyes wide, taking it all in. You and me both, Kyle. “Did you know they have hairy noses? And feet? Very hairy feet.” I paused. “Reindeers, that is. Not my parents.”
“I … did not.” He took a sip from a Diet Coke can. “But that’s quite the image.”
What else did I know? I thought back to Billy’s extensive chat about them.
“And it’s the females who still have their antlers at Christmas.”
