“Honey. There’s ALWAYS more.”

I gulped and reached out for one of the hundreds of packs of make-up wipes.

“In that case, can I take these for later? No offence, but I don’t think this is going to be my evening look.”

Jack smiled and started to draw a bright pink circle on my cheek. “No problem.” He was the only one at this stupid event who’d made me feel relaxed and not like this was the most stressful day of my life (second only to the premiere). His Liverpool accent was chef’s kiss too. “A good ol’ scrub and this face paint should come off.”

I didn’t like how he said “should”.

“Mols, stop moaning.” Tess tutted, even though I hadn’t said a word. “So many people would love to be getting this A-list make-up treatment.”

Tess was almost, almost right. It was kind of cool being in a trailer having my make-up done by a pro who had more boxes and toolkits and belts of make-up than an entire Sephora. But… I looked at my reflection. My green reflection. And … just, no.

“So, you didn’t have to do any elves like this in the film?”

Jack shrugged. “Not that I can remember… Also, side note, love that you are the only person in the country not to have seen it yet.”

“And it’s going to stay that way.” I wouldn’t even look at a poster, let alone watch the movie.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Jack winked. “Anyway, I was mainly on special effects. That Santa beard and aging make-up took for ever. Com-plete nightmare. Joseph had to sit for three hours every single day to get it on. Never complained once.” He started the other pink circle. “Unlike someone else I know…”

I ignored him. I knew from his big grin he was winding me up. “I heard he was a bit of a diva.”

Me getting gossip = happy Grace.

“I think he’s just a little … complicated.” Sounded like code for diva to me. “At least he had Maeve.” Ding! Gossip jackpot. “Anyway.” Jack booped me on the nose with a blusher brush like he’d realized he’d said too much. “For what it’s worth, I think you make this look gorge.”

If by gorge, Jack meant “like a really angry gnome” then totally. But there was a knock at the door and without waiting for an answer, Elijah strode in.

Then saw me. And came to such an abrupt stop he almost tripped over.

“What” – his mouth was wide open in horror at my reflection – “is … THAT.”

Silence.

“Er, do you mean me?” I asked innocently.

Elijah ripped off his headset. “What else do you think I’d mean? How many other people are in here looking like a green goblin?”

“Trying not be offended at my elf work…” Jack muttered.

“You look RIDICULOUS.” Elijah was almost shouting. “No one can see you like that!”

“I think it’s kind of cute.” Tess flicked my hat bell.

“Cute? No way!” Elijah growled. “You look unrecognizable!” Just the word I was hoping for! Luckily my face paint stopped my grin muscles working. “As if we’ll get any press about this as a reveal… And we’ve got thirty minutes before the event starts.” He closed his eyes and started deep breathing. “I bet they don’t have to put up with this on All I Want for Christmas Is Drew!” He took another deep breath. “Keep calm. Not a problem. Yet again, Elijah will sort everything…” He pulled his headset back on and started barking, “Change of plan!”

“Chill, Eli.” The suit man from the premiere walked in, looking very calm and un-Elijah. “How many times do I have to tell you? Even when it’s falling apart behind the scenes, it’s our job to make sure everyone thinks it’s a total success.” He put his hands on Elijah’s shoulders. “Christmas number one. This is all a distraction. Keep focused. Keep up conversation. We need that BIG idea.”

Elijah shot daggers at me, muttered “sorry” to his boss and stormed out. I didn’t see him again and half an hour later I was shuffling (how on earth elves got any work done in these shoes, I did not know) down to the huge Ferris wheel towering over Albert Dock. It was ready to be lit up, each pod sparkling red, white or green, and along the docks were the huge pieces of set I recognized from Leicester Square. The main attraction was a giant sleigh that you could have your photo taken in, but there were also igloos, wooden chalets, even an ice rink with the Sleigh Another Day logo in the middle, where professional skaters were performing, all dressed up in Christmas tree outfits. And towering in front of the crowd was the stage where the cast were coming out. Where I was meant to be coming out. My stomach fizzed with nerves. There were so many people!

“DON’T JUST STAND THERE, ELF!!” Elijah bounded over with a megaphone. Guess I answered to “elf” now.

“It’s Moll—” I started to say.

“Three minutes till switch on!” he yelled. I wasn’t sure he needed a megaphone when he was four centimetres away, but from the way he was sweating and waving his clipboard, he didn’t look in the mood for feedback. “And change of plan. Forget the stage. The reveal’s off. We need you in a pod seventeen.” He shooed me with his free hand and lowered the megaphone. “Quick! The normals are watching!” Was that what he called non-famous people? “So run run goblin.”

I weaved through the crowd. Pod seventeen? Pod seventeen… Where were you?

“Sixty! Fifty-nine!” The crowd started counting down with a giant timer that had taken over the screens. I looked back at them. So many people staring right in my direction. So many phones up recording. So many people who hopefully wouldn’t recognize me in this outfit.

“Thirty … twenty-nine…”

Pod seventeen finally trundled down! With the biggest leap, I threw myself into the pitch-black glass bubble. But with these stupid pointy red shoes on, instead of landing gracefully, I skidded, whizzed across the floor and splatted down on to the hard wooden planks.

And on to something else.

Human feet?

I mean shoes. Argh! Being an elf was getting to me.

“You OK there…” a low, slightly cockney voice said. A hand reached down.

“EIGHT! SEVEN!”

“Cos no pressure, but in six seconds I think you’re going to be immortalized as ‘Elf Sprawled on Ferris Wheel.”

OK. That was enough to move me.

“TWO…”

I scrambled to my feet.

“ONE!”

The whole place flickered into a glowing web of red, gold and green lights. Huge Christmas shapes lit up in the water. A giant snowflake. A huge neon-green Christmas tree. Even the outline of The Beatles in Christmas hats, which I wasn’t really sure fitted in with the film, but it was festive, so who cared? The entire dock had exploded with twinkly Christmas lights. Even I had to admit it looked magical.

Human guy whistled, impressed. He was about my age but dressed in human clothes, with messy brown hair falling over his face. Had I just had a quick lie-down on the feet of a cross between Harry Styles and Tom Holland? He walked to the edge of the pod and waved out to no one in particular, before turning back to me. “You OK? Cos even for an elf, you look kind of shocked.”

“Sorry, yeah, I’m fine.” I patted myself down, as the crowd erupted at the silhouetted shapes of Maeve and Joseph walking out. I could have sworn they were holding hands, but it was hard to see from up here. And was that Stormy barging them both out the way, dragging a tiny white fluffy dog along? The sound of Elijah yelling “Clap! Clap! Clap!” drifted up. I spotted him at the edge of the crowd, flapping his arms, his megaphone pointed directly into the head of a bored-looking dad.

“Think he wants people to clap,” I said, with a laugh. “And sorry about squashing your feet. Elf life is a wobbly one.”

“No problem.” The guy smiled; a smile so gleaming it should come with a “ping”. I could feel Grace swooning just at the description of him … if she wasn’t a Jingle Lady and off all guys for the foreseeable, of course.

I leant against the glass, feeling brave behind the make-up, costume and fake bits of face.

“Kinda cool, huh?” I said, looking at Liverpool stretching out below us. I’d love a photo, but the invite small print had said NO PHONES, NO PHOTOS in capital letters, double underlined. I still had mine hidden in my green tights, though, just in case. “Elijah’s smashed it, to be fair…” I stopped. “Sorry … do you even know who I’m talking about?”