“Glad you said that. Because after today’s effort, I’m going to need you to come to Edinburgh next week.” He what?!

“But—”

“But wouldn’t that red-carpet clip get so many views online?” He gave a quick smile. “Don’t worry, you can bring Grace. I’ll chat to your parents, get it all sorted. We’ve invited some pretty major influencers down to the pop-up winter village. Should be fun.”

Fun?! Fun for me was sitting in a dark room until January.

“Fine.” I crossed my arms. “I’ll do Edinburgh.” I lowered my voice. “And then that clip is MINE.”

“We have ourselves a deal. Although, one question. A top secret big idea one. What do you think the Bells would say about a little remake of the ‘Love Your Elf!’ video? A brand new look that feels a lot more NOW. Get some cameos, give it the star treatment.” Elijah smiled smugly. Could he not see how horrified I was?! “Joseph wouldn’t do it, no way. He won’t do a single thing to do with this film. But Maeve maybe. Especially if we gave some of the streaming proceeds to charity.” He got lost in his awful idea. “And we’re pretty tight with Ed Sheeran.”

Ed Sheeran? ED SHEERAN? How would I manage to keep my identity secret if I was forced to be in a video with Ed “Zillions of Fans” Sheeran? I might as well run into school dressed as an elf screaming, “I’m the cutest little elf in the world and Zaiynab, Matt, my nice normal life, BYE, it was nice knowing you.”

“As delightful as it sounds, it’s a no from me,” I said firmly.

Elijah rolled his eyes. “Yet again, Molly, thank you for your assistance in helping me get press and get that job. So very much appreciated.”

But I was here, wasn’t I? And none of that was my responsibility.

“So am I good to go then?”

“Sure. Although…” He checked his watch. “Can you do one little thing? Head to the ‘Christmas in London’ photobooth set-up and get one solitary photo on the bench.” My eyebrow rose. What would he do with it? “Don’t give me that. I won’t use it anywhere. I just want to know if it’s working as the photos are coming through all distorted. Oh, and can I borrow that hat? I want to show it to wardrobe as an idea for some crowd props in Edinburgh.”

Fine. I handed it over and headed off. Grace and Dad wouldn’t be back for an hour, so this meant now the crowds had gone, I could also have a nosey around for any spare film bits for the raffle. Oh! And I could email the village hall with the confirmation form and to check about the snow machine.

I grabbed a gingerbread steamed milk from catering and a handful of Lebkuchen biscuits (my fave) and headed in.

WOW!

A huge snowy London street opened up, street lights flickering on the cobbled streets, snow falling, the sound of the brass band playing carols floating in the distance. Red, snowy post boxes, old-fashioned shop windows lit up with boxes of chocolates and gorgeous gifts, even a nest of robins hopping about on branches. In the middle was the photobooth bench where they’d been getting everyone to pose – the gifs were scrolling by on a fake bus stop video screen opposite.

Apparently it was a recreation of the street and bench where Joseph and Maeve’s characters kissed, and, according to a man I’d walked past earlier, was “swoontastic”. But he was wearing a jumper with an up arrow that said “This Guy Is Christmas Crackers”, so not sure how much his opinion could be trusted.

I did what Elijah wanted and sat down on the bench, smiling for a selfie. It really did look like a picture-perfect Christmas scene. I watched the gifs scroll through on the screen. Couples doing stupid poses. Pretending to throw snowballs. Pulling on the ends of a giant bow on an even more giant present. Kissing under the mistletoe. I looked up at the bunch dangling above me. It was probably good Grace was eating katsu curry, not seeing all these loved-up couples, having their perfect Christmas moment – just like the ones she’d wanted to have with Simon.

Even though it was all so fake. So set up.

More flicked by … a guy not realizing the camera was going and getting caught in the middle of pulling his jumper off, his girlfriend cracking up. Two guys kissing as they held up a “Happy Holidays” sign. Two young kids holding hands. Erm … why was I smiling?

Was my icy heart thawing?!

Molly. Get a grip.

I tutted at myself and pulled out my phone. Time to stop getting sucked in by all this fake Christmas romance. It was as artificial as those mechanical robins. And I had a booking form to fill in. But as I waited for a signal, I found myself looking back up.

Two old women smooshing their faces together, making a heart with their hands, a dribbly boxer dog staring up at them. Cute.

Molly, NO!

Life isn’t like the movies.

Life is a guy telling you they love you and then seeing him snogging someone else on Stories. And taking a girl on a date on your year anniversary.

Life is meeting someone who makes you laugh, who sends funny messages, but they have a girlfriend and so there’s no point even thinking about it.

Because what life really is … is being a Jingle Lady with your best friend, Grace.

Yes. That was more like it.

Molly Bell wasn’t a melting heart-shaped snowball – I was a piece of Christmas coal.

Phew.

But that’s when I heard a crunch of footsteps.

“Room for one more?”

CHAPTER

9

If there was one person I didn’t want to see right now, it was him. Well, Simon, and then him. And maybe Mr Phillips, my geography teacher, as I still hadn’t finished my end of term assignment and he was starting not to believe me that there was a nationwide printer ink shortage.

“What are you doing here?” I spluttered so hard, some chewed-up Lebkuchen dislodged out of my tooth. I wasn’t expecting to see Ru ever again. Let alone on a fake London street in Liverpool. And I hadn’t replied to his messages?! Whyyyyy?! Being guilty over phone was fine, but irl I felt baaaad.

Mustn’t panic. Maybe we could both pretend the messages had never happened? Maybe we could both pretend I still wasn’t glowing bright pink. Still, better than green.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He raised an eyebrow, and shuffled his feet in the fake snow. “Not that you’d reply…”

Great. We were going there.

What did I have? Broken phone? Nope, it was literally not-broken and in my hand.

“Ah … about that.” I paused. “My phone’s been, er, playing up.”

I tapped it, giving it a “what a naughty little thing” look.

“Sure…” But Ru grinned. I instantly felt a bit better. He was letting me get away with being rubbish. “Guess I’ll just take it as a win that I’m not head to toe in snacks this time.”

I waved my bag of Lebkuchen menacingly. “Don’t speak too soon.” He laughed and sat down next to me, plonking a pile of books down. “How did you get my number anyway?”

He pressed his lips together. “A reindeer never tells… But Elijah. Elijah gave it to me.” Interesting. Elijah never said a word to me. “Although he referred to you as Elf Girl?”

“Elijah, huh?” Laugh laugh laugh. “What is he like?” AN ELF-OUTING DEMON, THAT’S WHAT. But at least it meant Ru hadn’t put two and two together. “But you didn’t answer. Aren’t you meant to be in London?”

“London…” Ru’s nose wrinkled. “That was the plan. But then … everyone started to freak out about this film maybe not getting Christmas number one and now they’re throwing everything at these events.”

“Meaning?”