Chapter 39

I hurried down the block to where I’d parked the car. As soon as I was inside, I called Aunt Maddy. I knew I sounded hysterical, and I didn’t care.

“You need to calm down,” Aunt Maddy said.

“But she knows,” I cried. “She knows and she doesn’t care.”

“Just breathe,” she said. “Are you okay to drive?”

“Yes.” Breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for six.

“Then come straight to my house. I’m closer and we’ll figure out what to do next.”

Aunt Maddy must’ve been watching for my car because as soon as I pulled into her driveway, she opened the front door.

“Don’t be mad,” she said when I reached her porch. “But I called Dr. Rubenstein.”

“Why would you call Dr. Rubenstein? I told you I was taking a break from therapy.”

“Because I’m worried about you. I knew going to Brian’s wake was a mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake,” I said, following Aunt Maddy into the house. The deep breathing exercises had helped. It was the only useful thing I took away from my time at the Wellstone Center. “Now I know his wife knows. She isn’t in the dark like I was.”

“Or maybe she is in the dark and she just wants to stay there.”

I spent the night at Aunt Maddy’s house. I knew I’d be fine if I went home, but my aunt didn’t, so to put her mind at ease, I stayed. But I tossed and turned all night. When I woke up with the sun, I knew I’d never fall back asleep, so I got up and dressed. Aunt Maddy must’ve heard me stirring because she knocked on my bedroom door.

“You okay?” she asked.

I zipped up my funeral dress and opened my door. “I’m going home to shower and change before I head to the office.”

“Do you have a lot of work to do?”

“Not really.” Janelle was no longer referring cases to me, and I hadn’t made any effort to obtain new clients on my own. “But today is Janelle’s last day, so I thought I should be there to say goodbye.”

“It might be better if you weren’t. Besides, it’s a beautiful morning. Wouldn’t you rather go for a walk on the beach with your favorite aunt?”

“In this?” I asked, looking down at my dress and matching black heels.

“You can borrow something of mine.”

My aunt obviously didn’t trust me to be alone. “I’m not going to try to kill myself again if that’s what you’re worried about. You know that, right?”

“I love you,” Aunt Maddy said. “Please come walk with me.”

We picked up coffees at Starbucks and brought them with us to the beach. The sky was cloudless, but it was still cool outside so I zipped up my borrowed sweatshirt and donned the baseball cap Aunt Maddy insisted I wear after I refused her offer to douse my face in sunscreen.

The beach was empty except for a handful of early morning walkers and a small group of people, mostly women, doing yoga on the sand. I pushed my sunglasses down my nose to get a better look.

“Oh my god, that’s Felicity.” I recognized her even with her mane of jet black hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head. Her hot pink yoga outfit was hard to miss.

“Who?” Aunt Maddy asked.

“Felicity. The patient advocate from the Wellstone Center. You met her at the hearing for my release.”

“Oh, right.” Aunt Maddy said. We watched as the yogis effortlessly moved from warrior pose to lotus. After a few minutes of sitting cross legged on their mats, there was a chorus of Namaste and they all stood up. “Did you want to say hello?” my aunt asked. “It looks like they’re done.”

I hadn’t planned on talking to Felicity, but there was no reason not to. I’d always liked her. We stepped off the cement path that ran parallel to the ocean and onto the sand. Felicity was talking with another woman when she spotted us approaching.

“Grace?” she called out.

I smiled and waved. “I see you finally made it to sunrise yoga.”

Felicity said goodbye to her friend and jogged over to me and Aunt Maddy. “It’s so good to see you. Can I give you a hug?”

“Sure,” I replied, and she practically flung herself at me.

“I’m so happy you’re doing better. You look terrific.”

“Thanks,” I said. “You look good too.”

She glanced down at her Lycra-clad thighs and frowned. “I’ve lost fifteen pounds, but I’ve still got another ten to go.”

Aunt Maddy shook her head. “You girls need to stop obsessing over your weight. You look fine as you are.”

Felicity smiled at her. “You’re Grace’s aunt, right?”

“Yes,” Aunt Maddy and I both answered.

“What are you doing here?” Felicity asked. “Just out for a walk on the beach?”

“Yes, I’m still an early riser,” I said. “Unfortunately. How often do you come to sunrise yoga?”

“Every day since I got laid off,” Felicity said, then reached into her bag for her sweatshirt and pulled it over her head.

“Oh my god,” I said. “I’m so sorry. When did it happen?”

“Last month.”

“I’m sure you’ll find another job soon,” Aunt Maddy said.

Felicity shook her head. “I’ve started my own business. I’m influencer now. You should check out my videos. I already have over ten thousand followers.”

I had no idea whether ten thousand followers was a good amount, but Felicity obviously thought it was. “Definitely,” I said.

“What have you been up to?” she asked. “Did you ever talk to Dr. Rubenstein?”

“Yes,” I said. Then Aunt Maddy added, “As a matter of fact, Grace has an appointment with her this afternoon.”