A soothing thought crept into her mind to try and cool the blistering, sweltering inferno. The cradle that your fater made just for you.
But Rebekah would not be soothed. She couldn’t be, not now. She had come too far.
Instead, Rebekah shook her head free of the soothing thought and picked up the cradle, her heart pounding, and heaved it as hard as she could against the door, just as Joseph opened it.
His eyes were as wide as she had ever seen them. In that moment she was scared, scared that after all these months of piddly fighting, she had finally crossed an invisible line with her mann.
His voice was a whisper and the look of astonishment on his face flickered back and forth between shock and hurt. “What in the world?”
Rebekah’s anger, momentarily soothed by the smashing of the cradle she could not even properly use, resurfaced in hot, fragile bubbles that burst and burned away her fear. She narrowed her eyes at the man who had taken her trust, broken it, and mocked it. “How dare you follow me up here.”
He took a step towards her and shook his head. “Rebekah…”
She backed up. “Why did you even pick me, Joseph? Why did you pick me over her?” She let her words hang there like a noose from the gallows as her marriage climbed higher, with each word that flew off her tongue, up the steps toward the deadly platform that promised nothing but death and destruction. Despite that, she continued. “Or did you even choose me over her? Does our marriage mean nothing to you? Your vows, forsaking all others.”
Joseph’s mouth fell open.
“Have you forsaking all others with Katie? Truly? Or is your correspondence with her fueling the fires of some great, secret romance?”
He snapped his mouth closed and steeled his face. Suddenly, he was incredibly far away, unreachable and untouchable, although he was right there in the room they once happily shared.
Joseph glanced pointedly down at the smashed cradle, then back at his fraa. “Samuel is much too sick and much too tired to fix this gift that he made for you. That he made for our bopplin. He can hardly get out of bed. But I did not want to tell you that. I did not want to worry you. He built you this cradle because he loves you. And I did not tell you about your fater’s health because I love you, as much as you do not want to believe it.” He dropped his voice low. “And you treat love like this.”
He stared hard at Rebekah. “You stay here with Lil’ Bit. I am leaving.”
“Leaving?” It was Rebekah’s turn to be taken aback. “You are?”
“Yes. I am.”
All the fiery anger that had fueled her incensed display fizzled into nothingness. Gone, but not forgotten. Rebekah studied her bare feet. “Please, do not go.”
“Now you want me here?” Joseph’s stare threatened to burn through her.
Rebekah nodded, but she could not bring herself to meet Joseph’s stare.
“No.” He shook his head. “You do not want me here. You become angry when I am in the room. We no longer share a bed. You do not even trust me. Why would I stay?”
Rebekah forced a swallow through the ever-growing lump in her throat. “How long will you be gone?”
Joseph leaned down and began gathering the pieces of the cradle into a jagged pile. Then, he picked up the entire, heartbreaking mess and tucked it under his arm. Silence filled the room that used to only be full of love. He started to leave but paused in the doorway. “I do not know how long, Rebekah. Tonight. Perhaps longer.”
He stepped out the door, headed for the stairs. She dashed after him but stopped in the doorway. “Joseph, are you leaving me for her?” Her voice threatened to strangle in her throat.
Her mann did not stop. He did not even turn around. And he certainly did not answer. He just disappeared down the stairs, with the remnants of the beautiful cradle tucked under his arm. A moment later, the front door closed and then he was gone for good.
Chapter Twelve
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18
Rebekah sank down onto the bed and let her head drop into her hands. The anger that had burned the fibers of her marriage to unrecognizable ash fizzled out, leaving her feeling filthy. Filthy and empty. She dared a look around her room. And alone.
Something creaked from the doorway. When she looked up, Katie stood there wearing a funny smile on her face. The furious anger that had moments before been satiated returned with a vengeance. “You are the last person I want to see, Katie Knepp. Get out.”
“Katie Knepp?” Katie raised an eyebrow and walked inside, uninvited and unwanted. “I married your brother. I am no longer Katie Knepp. I am now Katie Wagler, and you know it.”
“If it was up to me, my brother would have chosen differently,” Rebekah muttered. “I asked you to leave. So go.”
“What venom.” Katie stood there, completely unfazed. “However, if I leave, you will be out of people to kick out.” She turned around. But instead of walking out of the door, she closed it. “So no, Rebekah Graber. I am not going anywhere.”
Tears of frustration flooded Rebekah’s eyes. “You came all this way for nothing. You are not wanted here. At least not by me.”
Katie smiled, which made Rebekah even madder. “Why are you so angry at me, Rebekah?”
Where do I start? Rebekah stopped this retort from flying off her tongue and instead sat silently as she pondered her question for a moment. “Do you really want to know? Do you really even care?”
“Regardless of what you have come to think of me, yes, I do care. And I do want to know.”
“I thought you only cared about yourself.”
Katie shrugged. “I can see why you would say that. I have made some selfish mistakes.” She slid her covering off of her neatly parted hair. “But I do care. And I care about you.”
Rebekah snorted. “I do not believe you any further than I could throw you, Katie Knepp. But because you said you care, I will tell you. I do not want you here, I do not welcome you here, because…” Her voice wavered as she stared hard at Katie, whose expression had not changed one bit since this argument-fight-talk began. “Because you, of all the people in the entirety of the world, you had the least right of all to pick up a pen and begin to write letters to my husband.”
Katie knotted her hands at her middle. She opened her mouth to speak, but Rebekah cut her off.
Rebekah, however, was incensed. “He is not yours, Katie,” she said until she was yelling. “Why can you not accept that? Never mind what you are doing is terrible, what you are doing is also behind my brother’s back!”
Her shouts reverberated in the tiny room and hung there, vibrating heavily in the air.
“That puts that matter to rest, I suppose,” Katie whispered as she sank down onto the bed beside Rebekah. For as loud as Rebekah was, Katie seemed to take care to be quieter. “You did see the letters then?”
“Of course, I did!” Rebekah yanked off her covering, too. “Did you think I would not see them?”
“Well—”
Rebekah leaped to her feet, a movement she immediately regretted. The world pitched around her. She grabbed the side table and eased back down onto the bed.
Katie’s eyes were wide as Rebekah continued. “How dare you, Katie. How dare you behave in such a manner. Was it not enough that you chased Joseph all the way through primary school?”
Katie’s eyes widened and she looked as though she might laugh. “Excuse you? Chased him?”
Rebekah ignored her. “And on top of everything else, you refused to accept that it was me that he wanted and not you!” Rebekah’s chest heaved and sweat glistened on her face. She dropped her voice, now breathless. “And then, in what is supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, you have the nerve to show up here, as though nothing is wrong. As though what you did was right and not something shameful and filled with deceit.”
“From what I have heard, times around here have not been all that happy.”
Rebekah turned toward her, fiery rage fueling her movements. She emitted a low growl, like a wild thing, and she did not know what she was going to do. It was like something else was in control. She did not like it, but she was powerless in its clutches.
Katie, though, did not look the least bit intimidated.
