“I try to be, Aaron.” Katie sighed and let out a shuddering breath. Specks of fear flew all around, like embers from a campfire. However, it was the truth in her heart that burned the brightest. “But I’m sure I’ve failed.”
She didn’t meet his poring gawp, because if he was looking at her with the odd flicker in his brown eyes, she would freeze. And who knows what would happen next. So she spoke to her hand, trapped in his arm, instead.
“I’ve hurt people that I love. I’ve been selfish and self-centered. I’ve disappointed God, my family, and myself. ” She shrugged. “But I’m trying to do better, each minute. And of course, I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done. So, Aaron, I don’t know if that makes me a good girl or not.”
Finally, she looked up at him. Sure enough, he was staring at her with those snake-like eyes. Paralyzing. Terrifying. Hungry. Fear sparked to life within her, brighter than before. Katie thought quickly and stammered over her words. “But, at least I stay in at night. I don’t go out at night.”
Aaron licked his lips. “Good.”
Without warning he started off walking in the direction of the ocean, dragging Katie along with him.
“That’s good, Katie Knepp.” He walked faster and faster, until they were almost sprinting. “Stay good, Katie Knepp. Stay good and don’t let them feed you. Ever.”
Once they were at the docks, he released her hand. “Here you go, I got you to the docks.” His face glowed with sweat and his breathing was coming fast and hard. “See, I’m good too. I kept my word. I’m good, Katie Knepp.”
Katie’s heart thundered in her chest as she gripped the railing to the docks with both hands. The sea, specked with gulls and giant boats, lapped before her, like a sea foamy beacon.
Thank you, God.
She dared a peek over her shoulder. Aaron shuffled off toward the tar-paper shacks. He stopped at a trash bin and peered inside. He stuck his hand inside and pulled out a half-eaten portion of someone’s discarded meal. He glanced over at Katie and made eye contact before shoving his newly acquired meal into his mouth. Still, he stared at her.
Katie shuddered and looked away. It wasn’t his obvious lack of manners that disgusted her. It was something else. Something in the way he looked at her as he shoved the spoiled food into his mouth. Something...indescribable. Unable to help herself, she glanced back over her shoulder toward the rubbish bin. Nobody stood where he’d been standing only moments before.
Katie released a relieved breath.
Thank you, God. I don’t know what just happened, but thank you.
She reached to wipe the sweat from her eyes and only then did she notice she was trembling. A ship blew its foghorn, pulling her out of her reverie.
She opened her eyes. A giant ship cut through the water, gracefully before her. She watched until the name appeared. Augusta Victoria was clearly emblazoned on the side.
Something inside Katie deflated as the giant ship glided across the water, drowning her hopes of traveling the world. She planned on telling Nellie Bly goodbye and returning the dress, but now she couldn’t even do that. So she waved instead. She waved with all of her strength, all her heart.
Goodbye, Nellie Bly.
Goodbye, world travels.
Goodbye, reporters and fame.
Goodbye, English world.
Thank you, Father Plant, for giving me a moment of silence in God’s house.
Thank you, God for guiding my steps and making sure I am falling back in line with Your will. Thank you.
She was so involved with her mental prayer she didn’t hear footsteps behind her. By the time she smelled the foul odor of rotting food, it was too late. One bony hand covered her face, and even if she’d been able to suck in a breath to scream, nobody would have been able to hear it.
Chapter Thirteen
New York City
“How do the women in this town walk around, looking like their feet don’t hurt, in those giant, tall shoes?” The trip, coupled with exhaustion and a bit of impatience, had brought out Rebekah’s candor.
“Judging, Miss Stoll?” Joseph’s jocular tone irked her.
“No.” She held her quilting bag close as she trailed along behind Peter and Joseph in the early morning sunlight. Something told her to keep it near, keep it safe. “Just an observation from a fellow girl whose feet are crying and begging for mercy. And I made these shoes, with Ma’s help, to fit my feet special. I can’t imagine walking in those.”
Peter checked the docks just prior to sunrise, and was satisfied that Katie was not there. “I asked a sailor, though,” he assured them. “And he said most ships set sail in the late morning. English certainly aren’t efficient users of time. They could get so much more done if they just got up and got started earlier.”
Joseph’s eyes sparkled as they walked away from the gray sea. “Like brother, like sister. Both of you show your English side when you’re tired and impatient.”
Rebekah’s mouth fell open. “Joseph, how dare—”
“You could have done better, you know.”
Rebekah ignored the fact that Joseph interrupted her as they picked their way down the cloddy street to the tune of clanking horse hooves. “Better? At what?”
“At the apple pie at the diner.” Mischief played at the corners of his mouth. “Come on, I know you were thinking it. I saw you wrinkle your nose when you took your first bite.”
“Oh no.” Rebekah covered her lips with her fingers. “I hope I didn’t appear rude, I didn’t even realize.”
“Natural reaction.” Joseph shrugged. “Nobody noticed but me, I’m sure.”
“Did the crust taste funny to you?” Rebekah remembered the terrible bite that she’d all but choked down then passed off to Noah, who accepted it wholeheartedly. “And something in the apples themselves?”
“You mean the undercooked chunks of bruised apple that tasted like they were taken off the tree, sat in a barrel until they were almost bad, then cut with uncaring hands and thrown into a crust where the cook misread the directions?”
Rebekah’s lower lip trembled until she couldn’t help but laugh. “Joseph, if traveling into the English world makes me cranky and impatient, it makes you sound like some sort of English poet with a better accent.”
As they shared a laugh, Joseph reached to tuck a wayward lock of hair into her bonnet. “You’re still beautiful. Even if you are cranky and impatient.”
His words quieted her laughter and replaced the happy feeling with one of longing. Longing for their wedding day. His touch against her cheek left a burning trail that took its time to fizzle out.
“I am excited to become your wife, Joseph Graber,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I have a distrustful and doubtful nature lately. It’s just Katie...”
Joseph tucked his hands into his pockets and listened. “I understand. She is a pretty girl too, but she knows it.”
“You think she’s pretty then?”
“By looks alone, yes.” Joseph stared at the ground. “Don’t you?”
Rebekah shrugged. “I suppose. She’s different than me. Everything I’m not.”
“She’s also missing everything I want.”
“And what is it you want?”
“You.”
