He lived alone so there would be no possible way for the coffee to already be made up for him. He boiled the kettle, grabbed his favourite mug from the kitchen cupboard and spooned some instant coffee into it. He made sure to add the sugar and only allow the kettle to just about hit boiling point before he switched it off. If you weren’t already aware, if you allow the kettle to reach full boil, your beautiful instant coffee would become burnt. No one enjoys burnt coffee now do they, the man muttered to himself. After a quick stir, he added milk and his morning coffee was ready.
He wasn’t much of a breakfast person; he much preferred a coffee or two to get the day going. This was for two reasons, one, he wasn’t always hungry this early in the morning and two he was lazy and not much of a cook. He made his way into the living room, usually he would make his way to the garden on a warmer day to drink his morning coffee but today he just couldn’t stand the cold. Even though he couldn’t sit in the garden, he could see it from the living room which helped. It wasn’t quite the same but it was almost enough.
The garden was truly beautiful, he was very lucky he could call it his own. Just behind his garden was a forest and because of this there were always plenty of woodland creatures finding their way into his garden and sharing it with him. He loved all animals, but had a love for birds in particular. He believed this was because of the freedom they are seen to have; they can fly anywhere. Not to mention the views they are able to have of the world. He couldn’t help but be in absolute awe of them and wished, if he were to be reincarnated, to be a bird.
It appeared to be a quiet morning this morning, not many animals about. This did seem strange to the man, seeing as he was used to the company. The man had been sitting for a while at this point and decided it was time for his next coffee. As he pulled himself up off the sofa, he sought one more glance outside and saw something. He not only saw something, but heard it too. He decided to take a detour and venture outside into the garden before heading to the kitchen to investigate.
He followed the noise, and he landed on his bird bath, where a lone robin was sitting. Being a lover of birds, the man had hoped to see as many birds as possible putting it to good use while he watched. It was eerily quiet that morning and the grass still felt damp under his feet, he really should have changed into proper shoes before going into the garden. He made sure to walk as slowly as he could towards the little robin so as to not scare him away. The closer he got, the robin suddenly registered he was close by and just looked at him. At this point, he would have expected the robin to fly away, or perhaps bring more distance between them. The robin did neither. It was at that moment the man knew, this was not just a robin, it was a new friend.
Chapter 2
The man wasn’t quite sure how to approach his new friend, the confidence in this robin was impressive but this made the man feel a little uncertain. The robin still did not look away, and this simply ushered him to move closer. There was a chair nearby, the man decided perhaps he would sit down beside the robin and see what would happen. As the man moved past the robin and found himself sitting down, he was now behind the robin, out of his direct view. The robin turned around to face the man and they stayed like this, for a short while.
It was the robin who broke the comfortable silence they were now sitting in when it chirped at the man. This threw the man a little, it was unexpected and he did not know how to respond. He thought to himself, what would I say to a robin. How could we possibly have some form of conversation without being able to truly understand each other. But as quickly as this thought entered his mind, doubt also crept in. When humans have pets, they communicate with each other and build a relationship somehow. Why should it be any different with this wild robin?
The man decided to say good morning to the robin and with that the robin chirped again. This made the man giggle but then continue with the conversation. One would think it was a very one-sided conversation but the robin did acknowledge the man for a short while and this made him feel less alone than he did when he woke up this morning.
The man chooses to live alone but he doesn’t believe he is lonely. He has family and friends who live close enough to visit him every so often but faraway enough for him to feel as if he has his own space and independence. He has never been married or had any children but still has time, if he chooses that path in his future.
Even though he has family and friends, he still finds himself enjoying the company of animals over humans for the most part. He hasn’t owned any pets in his lifetime but what would be the need when he shares his time with the woodland animals every day. Amongst those animals are cats, squirrels, birds and on the odd occasion a badger or fox. He hasn’t had the same experience with any of these other animals that he has found with the robin. As he ponders this, he glances at the robin once more before taking his leave back into the house. Maybe he will see the robin again tomorrow.
The man works as a self-employed copy editor, this allows him to choose his own working hours and work from the comfort of his own home. He spends the rest of the early afternoon working. Around 3pm he decides to go to the supermarket to grab some food for a late lunch, he hadn’t realised how hungry he was until just now. Once he takes a shower, gets himself dressed, he quickly takes a look into the garden from the living room window to see if the robin is still around. He doesn’t see the robin to his disappointment and so he grabs his keys making his way to the front door.
The man arrives back from the supermarket and starts to prepare his lunch. He decided to go for a ham and cheese sandwich with mayo and for dessert, a blueberry muffin. While he was eating his sandwich, he had a sudden wave of tiredness so decided to make another coffee. As he popped the kettle on boil, he suddenly heard another chirp close by. The robin had returned, but before he knew it, it had left again. The man continued to prepare his coffee and then made his way back to the living room to finish working.
The next morning the man followed the same routine he had the day before. He eventually got out of bed and went to make his morning coffee. The day didn’t feel as cold and icy today, there was more sunshine and less dampness. This meant that he could have his coffee outside, which he did every day in summer.
He was feeling a little more peckish this morning which was unusual. He decided to bring along a pastry with his coffee out into the garden. He made his way over to the chair next to the bird bath, he would be lying if he didn’t hope to share his morning coffee with the robin. He felt a strange connection with this robin, the need to share time with it. He waited and waited for a solid thirty minutes, looking around, hoping to spot the robin, but nothing. He wondered how long would be too long to wait on a robin who he had shared a single morning with. He decided to wait at least an hour before going back into the house.
Chapter 3
Over the next few days, he would repeat this routine, make his coffee and then venture into the garden. He would sit on the chair by the bird bath and wait for the robin’s return. After about four days he came to the conclusion that maybe he would never see the robin again, and he had to be at peace with that. When he was just about to give up for the final time, he heard a chirp. The robin flew over his head, under his legs and then finally landed on the bird bath and stared at the man, just as he had done the first time. The man couldn’t contain his excitement, he had missed this robin and although he did not understand why this was the case, he embraced it.
The man and the robin sat side by side for the rest of the morning, just as they had done the first time. After a short while, without warning the robin landed on the man’s arm. The man was in shock at first, but the robin did not appear to be affected at all. The robin chirped away for a few minutes and then suddenly broke into song. The song sounded familiar to the man but he couldn’t quite place it. Who was this robin, why did he feel a connection with it, these were the questions replaying in the man’s head. This was no ordinary robin and the man felt this, to his very core.
The robin visited the man every day without fail after that day and they shared their mornings together. He would discuss his latest work projects, share his dreams and aspirations, and tell stories. The robin was alert and attentive throughout their conversations and chirped every so often to confirm this to the man. He wondered to himself, how long would this friendship last.
The season of autumn passes by so quickly, before you know it it’s winter and winter feels as if it’s never ending. Despite this, there are beautiful things about the winter season too. The darkness is peaceful, the crisp cold air is refreshing and sometimes, there is nothing better than being wrapped up in a blanket sitting by the fire with some hot coco. The man pondered these thoughts as he woke up, winter had officially arrived.
As the man prepared his morning coffee, he heard the doorbell ring. This is unusual for a Wednesday as it wasn’t post day and he wasn’t expecting anyone. He turns the kettle off; he would start the process of making his coffee again after he had answered the door. He opened the door, to his surprise it was his neighbour, Maryanne. He didn’t see Maryanne much, and when they did see each other, they simply exchanged pleasantries and moved on. The man was at a loss as to why she would be knocking on his door. He greeted her, she smiled and asked if she could come in. As to not come across as rude he obliged and offered to make her a cup of coffee.
They both sat down on the sofa with their coffee and for the first couple of minutes they sat in silence. This unnerved him and so he decided to ask Maryanne what brought her over. Maryanne simply replied, I’m here to talk about the robin.
The man could not quite understand how Maryanne knew about the robin and why this would be a topic of discussion between them both. Maryanne sensed the unease in the room and decided to explain. The robin is magical, he appears when he senses you need him and will leave as soon as he feels you no longer need him. It is very easy to get attached and reliant on the robin to be there for you always, but it does not work like that. She should know, she had been through the same experience.
The man was listening to Maryanne but not entirely registering what she was saying. He lost his focus and everything around him became a blur. He regained his composure when he heard Maryanne say his name. She went on to say that she understands how crazy this all sounded but it was nothing less than the truth. The man spoke then, “Sorry Maryanne did you say that the robin was magical.”
Maryanne smiled and said, “That is correct.”
The man apologised to Maryanne and asked her to leave, he needed time to process what she had said. Maryanne left without speaking any further words and lightly closed the front door behind her.
Chapter 4
The man was in shock, he didn’t yet know how he felt about what Maryanne had shared. He sat on the sofa in silence without moving for the next hour. Trying to process what he had been told was proving to be difficult, mostly because deep down in his heart he knew he believed her. If anyone else had been told this, he imagined they would probably have laughed and said that Maryanne was insane. He knows logically, what Maryanne was saying would come across as insane but he also knew how he felt when that robin flew into his life. That robin did fly into his life for a reason, he just wasn’t aware he needed it to.
Once the man finally removed himself from the sofa, he took himself off to bed with a scotch. After what he had experienced this evening he needed a drink, maybe even the whole bottle. Finishing the bottle of scotch off was easy enough, and before he knew it, he fell into a deep sleep. He woke up startled, rattled from the dream he was having. He isn’t one for having nightmares, he even dreams little. The nightmare truly frightened him and he was not sure what it meant. Due to still being highly intoxicated the man fell asleep again, and this time he didn’t wake until morning.
In his drunken state, the man had forgotten to pull the blinds before he fell asleep last night. The sun rays were dancing over his face and he woke up in a daze. His head was in pain, it was throbbing at both temples due to the hangover. The man hadn’t drunk that much scotch in a while, the hungover feeling was not entirely new to him but they always made him regret his decision to drink in the first place. He headed straight for the shower, hoping it would wash away yesterday’s events from his mind and body.
Once the man had showered, he made his way to the kitchen, as he always did to make his morning coffee. The coffee tasted more bitter this morning, he believed it’s possible it was mirroring his mood. The man started to think about what would happen today with his robin, in light of what he had learned yesterday. If this robin was magical, would he know that Maryanne had told him his secret, his purpose. Would he have decided to take his leave earlier than originally planned, leaving the man alone without him for the rest of his life. These thoughts made the man angry and so he gulped down the last drops of his coffee and stormed off into the garden. He and his robin needed to talk.
The weather was icy cold this morning, with a sharpness to it. The sky was grey and the wind was strong. Again, the man was convinced it was mirroring his mood. He walked straight over to the bird bath and stood; he didn’t want to sit down. He yelled out to the robin, over and over again beckoning him to show himself. The more the man yelled, the more angry he became and then suddenly without warning he burst into tears and fell to his knees.
The man was kneeling down and crying for at least 30 minutes, he could not control the tears that seemed to want to expel themselves from his body. The man was not known to cry, he had always remained strong when he was upset. He made a conscious effort to never shed a tear, no matter how tough the situation was. This outpour confused him, he could not understand how or why it was happening. He remained there in the garden for a while.
The man had moved himself into a sitting position rather than the kneeling position he had begun with. This was definitely more comfortable and also enabled him to hold himself in his arms and console himself. He had not yet had that person to console him, he always preferred to console himself. The man suddenly thought to himself, was it my preference or did I always push people away to save myself. Did I choose to be alone because loving anything and possibly losing it would be too painful. These thoughts had never occurred to the man before, probably because he was blocking them out by choice.
The man stood back up, wiped his tear-stained face and sat on the chair by the bird bath. He realised in that moment that he was having a revelation, an epiphany. This was what the robin had come to him for, to help him to love something and let it go and to know he would be ok. The robin wanted him to love and allow himself to be loved, he could see this now with such clarity.
The man started to cry again, but this time it was out of joy not pain. His heart felt so full and he was ready to do what the robin wanted him to do. For the first time in his life his heart and his mind were open and he would be eternally grateful to the robin for flying into his life. Maryanne was also in her garden that morning, she had heard the cries of pain and the cries of joy. She knew that the man had finally understood, just as she had all those years ago. The robin would never return here, but he would be fulfilling his purpose all over the world for eternity. This thought made Maryanne smile, and with that she made her way back into her home.
I Like My Coffee How I Like
Everything, Depending
on My Mood
Chapter 1
