Home at last, the first thing I do is check in on Coco and Pops, “Hello my pretties! How are my babies this evening?”
They squeal in delight; I’m hoping it’s delight anyway and I take this as a confirmation that they are fabulous. Whenever I feel like crap, I stand under the shower head for a good 30 minutes. It seems to have done the trick as I now feel as if I could stomach some food. I pull open the fridge and peruse my options; macaroni and cheese, beef hotpot or bread. I go for the bread, toast and butter it is. I do love peanut butter, jam and marmalade but the thought of adding some flavour to my toast makes me feel a tad nauseous.
I don’t know what it is but whenever I eat bread, I must have tea afterwards. I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way, I would see it as pretty standard. I’m exhausted so I curl up in bed, chuck on an episode of dinner date and fall into a blissful sleep.
Chapter 7
The rest of the week drags but thankfully as the team at work craved attention at all costs I was forgiven for my previous actions on Tuesday. Work was back to normal and I was bombarded constantly, sure this was annoying as hell but when work is dragging distractions are welcome. The team decided to go to a local bar after work on Friday, I politely declined as I did not want a repeat of Tuesday.
On Saturdays I do try to lie in but the body and mind does not always cooperate and I found myself waking up at 7:30am. To pass some time I decided to read the book on my side table. Half an hour later I decided it’s time to make some coffee and plan my day. I call around a couple of my friends to see if they’d like to grab some brunch and Hannah is free. Hannah is a friend of mine from college, we don’t get to see each other much seeing as she has two children so her hands are full pretty much all of the time. The boys are with their father today so we can grab brunch.
We decided to meet at our regular spot, I see her approaching the table and we embrace. “How the hell are you, Han? It’s been a while!”
“Hey Mel, I’m doing great thanks, the boys had their school pantomime last Tuesday and it was the cutest thing, I’ve recorded it and I took the liberty of making you a copy.”
Given this is a very sweet and thoughtful thing to do, I’m not exactly a kid’s person. I’m not broody in the slightest but I do love her little boys. I think I love them way more knowing I can see them as little or as much as I like but they always go back to their mum. “Oh Han, that’s super sweet of you, I’ll watch it tomorrow.”
The rest of the catch-up was lovely and I did miss Hannah. I decided to walk home to get some exercise and walking always gives me time to think and de-stress. I pull out my phone and give mum a call. I love to hear her voice when I’m feeling contemplative as it’s reassuring. Mum is doing well; she doesn’t seem to have off days and I envy her for this. I told her about the date and how it was unsuccessful and I could hear her sigh down the phone. My mum is traditional and would love nothing more than for me to get married and have children. I don’t want to disappoint her but I also have to stay true to myself and I cannot guarantee I will have that conventional life she so craves. We end the call saying we love each other and to catch up soon.
Chapter 8
It’s Wednesday and we’re having a team meeting. It is brought to our attention that a new person will be joining the company and they will be arriving tomorrow morning. I hope it’s a guy, a hot guy who ends up being my dream man and we live happily ever after. Ok maybe not happily ever after as this is real life and not a fairytale but it would be nice to date someone who I didn’t meet through tinder. I know people say dating people at work is a bad idea but let’s be honest, we’re all adults and we spend more time at work than anywhere else. It is extremely likely you will find someone you are attracted to at work and I’m completely down for it.
Today is the day the newbie starts. I’m not trying to find the love of my life but I would really like some male company and if it turns into more, great. Office romances can also be fun, they spice up your life. All the running around in secret, the sexual tension during team meetings, I live for it.
I’m at my desk and that moment has arrived. Mark knocks on my door and introduces Josh. “Hi Mel, this is Josh, he will be the new marketing executive.”
Josh is fit, he reminds me of Clark Kent, he has glasses with dark brown curly hair and is a respectable 5’11”. Who doesn’t fancy Clark Kent? “Hi Josh, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
I take his hand in mine and try to give him a strong handshake but due to his attractiveness my hands are clammy. What a great first impression, damp hands. “Mel, it’s great to meet you too. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” My knees go weak, lucky I’m sitting down.
Chapter 9
Josh has been working with us for about 3 weeks now. It’s lunchtime and I’m sitting in the kitchen eating my tuna Mayo sandwich and Josh sits next to me. He has a cheese and pickle sandwich; this only makes me fancy him more. I love cheese and pickles. “Afternoon Mel, good day so far?” I seem to always become tongue tied around him; this is the case whenever I fancy someone. “Josh, heyyyyyy! It’s been great, thanks, how about yours?”
“It’s been very productive.”
“That’s great, I’m so happy for you. Good choice in sandwich filling by the way, I love cheese.”
“I love cheese too,” Josh replies. With that, I yelp goodbye and scurry to my office. If I don’t pull myself together there is no chance of me and Josh having sex once let alone starting a glorious affair.
Whilst daydreaming in my office, I ponder a game plan on how to get Josh into bed. I don’t dress badly for work but I could look a whole lot better so I decided I needed to go shopping. I need to get new clothes and maybe if I’m feeling fancy enough a new perfume. If I look sexy enough and smell sexy enough, I’m sure my confidence will skyrocket and Josh will start drooling in my presence. Good plan.
The clock strikes 5pm and I make my way to Oxford Street. I have a little thought about the best place to buy sexy yet sophisticated clothes and Zara comes to mind. Zara is a little bit pricey but I only needed a few statement pieces plus they also do perfume. Killing two birds with one stone sounds good to me. When I think about that phrase it is quite violent isn’t it? I do wonder sometimes why we say certain things. I mean let’s take nursery rhymes as an example. Rock-a-bye-baby is about a baby falling out of a tree to its death. Humpty Dumpty also falls to his death and ring-a-ring-a-roses is literally about the bubonic plague. I digress.
I found the statement pieces I wish to purchase and now I’m saturating myself in perfume. There are so many choices, they all smell so good. I decided to go for gardenia. After paying for my new things and leaving the store I think to myself dang girl, you’re going to look and smell amazing. I was right, investing in a little self-care has given me more confidence and I’m feeling super happy. On the way back to the station to start my journey home I walked past a McDonald’s. I turned myself around and thought, while I’m in treat myself mode … I leave with a McChicken sandwich meal and a hot apple pie in hand.
Chapter 10
Today would be the day I would start seducing Josh. I’m totally hoping it doesn’t require too much effort on my part. I have a picture in my head of how this will go down. I’ll sashay into the office leaving my gorgeous scent along the way, Josh will smell it and then decide to follow the smell. The smell will lead him to my office where I will be sitting on my desk, leaning slightly back and he will just fall apart. He will look me up and down, taking in every inch of my sexy yet sophisticated look and then rush over and kiss me.
This does not happen however. What happens is I walk in; Josh doesn’t even bat an eyelid. I get to my office, get in position and wait a whole 10 minutes before I realise, he isn’t coming. Rather than seeing this for what it was I made up excuses for his reaction. He is clearly playing hard to get, he knows he would not be able to control himself and since he just started working here, he couldn’t risk getting fired. As the day goes on Josh comes into my office three times with work related questions and I behave in the strangest way. I can tell he felt super uncomfortable in my presence and I don’t blame him.
The first time he came in he asked me how I was. I responded with, “Better now I’ve seen you.”
Believe me, it only gets worse. The second time he asked me for some paper. I collected the paper from the stationary cupboard and handed it to him while maintaining eye contact. He tried to take the paper out of my hands but I would not let go of the paper. He gave a final strong tug and managed to take the paper from my clutches. The fact that he visited a third time today was a shock to me. The poor bugger, he must have been absolutely terrified.
Chapter 11
I don’t think me and Josh will be starting a glorious affair. We didn’t seem to see eye to eye but I think it was mainly because I creeped him out so much, he quit his job and I never saw him again. Luckily Josh hadn’t told anyone else at work about my deranged behaviour, if he had that would have been pretty awkward and I would have also had to quit my job and maybe even move to another country.
Alas life goes on and my mediocre life would continue. I will always be an office manager; I will probably always remain single and I doubt I’ll be having any children. Bridget Jones reminds me a lot of myself, or maybe the right term is I remind myself a lot of Bridget Jones. To be fair, it all worked out for her in the end, didn’t it? Spoiler alert, she ended up marrying the love of her life and having his baby. I do have to remind myself that Bridget Jones is a fictional character but man is she relatable.
Midnight Lies
Chapter 1
Lucy Curtis
There is always that one person who likes to spend most of their time on their own. I prefer my own company to most people’s. This is exactly why I chose to take the night shift; I get to be as unsociable as I want and there is also something soothing about the night-time. When it’s just me in this empty office I can really process my thoughts and daydream. I work as overnight security for a law firm, of course no one ever comes into the office overnight, but security is needed, nonetheless. The office is on the 17th floor and every night at around midnight I stare out the window hoping to catch a glimpse of anything or anyone below, to numb the boredom. Mostly I’ll see foxes or cats rummaging through the trash cans, attacking each-other, but sometimes I’ll see people. At this time of night there are certain types of people you’d expect to see, teenagers leaving a party late, people working a night shift like me, or the people who only operate at night.
Those who only operate at night are playing a risky game with their lives, the problem is, they do not feel as if they have any other choice. This reality makes me feel extremely sad but also grateful that I do not have to live a life like that. I have seen some things, things that aren’t pleasant and things that you wouldn’t want to go through yourself, yet I never intervene. Even if I wanted to, how could I? My job is to watch this office until the morning, I’m no superhero. My shift is almost over, and I can see the sun starting to rise. London is now awake, so it is time for me to go to sleep.
Chapter 2
It had been a long week so far of too much coffee intake and interrupted sleep. Was the interrupted sleep a personal attack on myself for all the potentially bad things I have enabled to happen? Could be. I remind myself that it’s not my job to look out for the people I watch, they have chosen their own paths in life and knowingly endanger themselves. Subconsciously, I must feel guilty but when I consciously think about it, I tend to feel nothing. I’ve been told plenty of times before that I have a heart and soul made of ice and as you can probably tell, this has affected most of my relationships. I’m better on my own and I like to rely on myself rather than other people, other people let you down. It’s the final shift of the week so I’m contemplating the weekend whilst staring out the window, as per usual. It’s mother’s birthday weekend and I’m supposed to join her for lunch on Saturday. My mother has been a single mum for as long as I can remember. My father was never around, and I had no siblings, this is probably why I prefer being on my own and pushing people away. Lost in thought about my insecurities, I spot something outside out of the corner of my eye. I can’t quite believe it at first, so I move closer to the window and press my face up against the glass. There is a girl running, she’s running naked down the street with blood smeared down her body. No-one seems to be following her at this stage, but no-one seems to be helping her either. I rub my eyes, thinking I must be seeing things and look again, finally I see someone else approaching her from behind. The person approaching her from behind looks as if they are holding a gun, I stare in shock as the scene unfolds in front of me, not being able to move. Before I know it, the bullets enter the poor girl. I hear her piercing shriek so clearly, it’s almost as if she’s right next to me. Not being able to stomach much more I close my eyes to block everything out, but I hear her shriek again and again until it stops.
After some time, I open my eyes again hoping it’s all over and to my surprise they have both vanished from sight. The girl, the killer, the gun, it’s all gone. I find myself asking questions like where did they go? How long were my eyes closed for? Was I dreaming? I spend the rest of the shift in a daze, not quite sure what to do or what to think. The sun rises yet again, as it always does, as it always will, but today is different, I feel different. I arrive home a little while later and crawl into bed, unsurprisingly, sleep does not come.
