“How are you feeling about it?”
“About what?”
“Having a baby.”
Kim was leaning in, expecting an insightful response, but I didn’t have one to give her. More than anything, it just didn’t feel real. I wasn’t even far enough along to have a scan. I’d been told by plenty of medical professionals that I was pregnant, but I didn’t believe it. I’d built up a curious defence mechanism from the constant failures when we had tried to conceive, and it was a hangover from that.
“It’s scary,” I mustered awkwardly.
“Yeah. I bet it is,” Kim replied.
“Listen, don’t feel like you need to hang around here until I am back on my feet. I think I am just going to head back to Manchester and forget about all this.”
“No, you can’t go! We need to find out what really happened!” Kim exclaimed.
I already knew what really happened. I’d finally accepted it; Harry had taken control of his situation and killed himself. And I was the one to blame. Everything else that happened to him might have contributed to that, but I was the one who pushed him over the edge. As galling as that admission may have been, there was a level of satisfaction in finally knowing the truth.
“I don’t think I can take anymore. I just want to go home.”
“I didn’t want to bring it up, but I have a lead.”
“A lead?”
“I got speaking to an old dear at the café. Apparently, there were some irregularities with some of Harry’s customer accounts.”
“What kind of irregularities?”
“Missing money, from the sounds of it.”
I was sick of it. The constant secrets and malfeasance Harry had kept under wraps all those years were being unearthed one piece at a time. My journey was born of curiosity more than anything else. But since then, I’d found out things about Harry that I wish I hadn’t. I found out things about myself that I’d rather forget, too. Because of the way I’d treated him, I didn’t even feel like I had the right to care anymore.
“I’m sorry, Kim. I’m going home,” I said insistently.
“Okay, well, if I find out anything, I’ll let you know,” Kim said defeatedly.
“Thank you.”
Kim left my bedside and walked out of the room, leaving the punnet of grapes behind. I plucked one from the top and bit into it. As time went by, I started to regret my decision. I had convinced myself that if I continued to look into Harry’s secret past, maybe I would find a reason that would absolve me. I’d felt like we had barely scratched the surface, and maybe I didn’t have to feel guilty for the rest of my life after all. I felt so twisted and warped by the accusations and the drugs that I didn’t know what the truth was anymore. In the absence of clarity, I decided to consult James for some guidance.
I feel like giving up. I just want to go home. Is it the right decision?
The story hasn’t concluded yet. You must remain strong if you want to discover the truth.
As ambiguous as the message was, it was just enough to change my mind. I called Kim and told her I’d meet her when I got discharged from the hospital. James was right. I needed to discover the truth.
It took a few days to track down Harry’s old boss, Geoff. It wasn’t immediately apparent from the outside, but the financial services company that Harry worked for had been shut down. Apparently, Geoff had moved to Leeds to escape the hordes of people constantly banging on the doors, wanting to know why their pensions had been illicitly tampered with. Word on the street was that Geoff was the main suspect, and there was a fraud case mounting against him and his business. Harry had always spoken very highly of Geoff, and I didn’t think he was capable of something like pension fraud. I just hoped, for once, that Harry wasn’t involved in any way, and I could just go home. But from what I’d learned about my husband since his death, it bore all the hallmarks of something he would have done. Geoff had been quite slippery once we had made contact, and he was extremely careful not to incriminate himself. He wanted to meet us at a pub in Castleford on the outskirts of Leeds. Kim and I were heading up there in the car when he called Kim’s phone.
“Geoff, I’ve told you a hundred times. We aren’t interested in anything illegal you may have done. We just want to talk about Harry’s part in this,” Kim said on the phone.
“Tell him to make sure he is there,” I instructed.
“Please, just meet us. We aren’t going to the police. Amelia just wants to find out what happened to her husband,” Kim said to Geoff.
“He had better be there when he said he would be. Tell him. Or we’ll find him,” I threatened.
“No, she isn’t threatening you,” Kim explained, with a finger on her lip, indicating that I should be quiet. “Please just be there. It will take five minutes of your time, that’s all,” she said.
Kim pulled away from the phone and sighed. The phone made a beep as the call disconnected.
“Has he hung up on you?” I asked.
“Yes, you should have left it to me. I think you’ve scared him off.”
“He’s a coward.”
“I agree. Which is why we needed to be gentle with him.”
“We are only five minutes away. We might catch him as he’s leaving.”
I put my foot down, and we pulled into the car park of the pub we’d agreed to meet at. I had no idea what Geoff looked like, but Kim pointed him out as he walked to his car. We started to follow him, and he seemed to be unaware we were a few cars behind him.
“Where is he going?” I asked.
“Home, I guess,” Kim responded.
“Fantastic. If he doesn’t talk, we’ll have leverage. We can always go and have a chat with his wife afterwards, depending on how it goes.”
“Amelia, you are scaring me today. What has gotten into you?”
