I had given up arguing with my mother. While I would sooner or later forgive her for forcing me to let Julian take me to university, I resented her for not telling me about such important things as her new job. We were a family, and I should know about such things. But I was getting more and more convinced that Mum disagreed.

Still annoyed, I rose from the bed and hung my blue dress over one of the free hangers. The wrinkles it had gotten overnight, because I had just thrown it in the corner out of rage, stretched all over the fabric. 

I had to think about yesterday again. That dinner had been the biggest disaster in a long time. Julian’s pompous manner had driven me incredibly insane. And then my mother...

I had to be careful that nothing crazy happened to my arms. That’s why I had jumped up and had run to my room. Just because of that. Upstairs, I had taken two pills and immediately went to sleep. 

Fortunately, nothing more had happened. But after I had woken up this morning, I had regretted it because, right after that, the usual headache had started again.

Now I was standing here in my room, trying to clean up the mess that had been made over the last few days. I had to admit to myself that I was not tidiness personified. Clothes lined the white carpet, and between them were sheets of paper and scribbled notes.

I bent down to pick it all up, just tossing the used clothes into the nearest corner. Orderly chaos was still better than disorderly chaos.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

I didn’t have to turn around to know my mum was standing in the doorway.

Instead, I continued to sort through the paperwork I had to turn in to the office on Monday. They were the visa, my mum’s bank account details and scholarship evidence.

“...I just didn’t want to catch you off guard.”

Well, that’s exactly what she had done with that.

Within the last two days, there had been so many disagreements and conflicts between us that it was just getting on my nerves. I didn’t know her like that at all. It was getting to the point where I thought this town had something to do with it, but I didn’t want to go that far yet. 

“I understand if you’re mad at me now.”

Oh yes, and how mad I was. Even my guilty conscience couldn’t change that. It still reminded me that I was going through all this for her. So that she would soon feel better again and we could get out of here. 

Eventually, I overcame my pride and turned to her.

“I’m not mad at you,” I snorted. 

A lie. Just for her.

Mum came over to me and stroked my left cheek with her warm hand. Something she often did when I was feeling bad.

“I’m still sorry sweetheart,” she whispered, and there was something desperate in her voice. As if she still wanted to tell me so much, but couldn’t. I knew it was her illness that made her so emotional. The reason I needed to be there for her now.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize, Mum,” I finally replied a little more gently.

Then, I broke free of my stupor and went to the dresser to sort through the little jewelry I actually owned. It distracted me a bit and made me forget about the last few days. There was something positive about all this tidying up. But Mum was still standing in my room as if she was not yet satisfied with the situation.

“Are you getting ready, honey? We’re leaving in fifteen minutes.”

Questioningly, I turned back to her. “Where to?”

Possibly another surprise that would surely knock me off my feet with excitement. Not.

“Well, you wanted to go down to the harbor, to the market...”

On the drive to Blairville, I had already seen the harbor from a distance, but it seemed much larger to me now that I could overlook the entire area.

A massive wooden pier, to which large and small sailboats were moored and from which a long pier led out to sea, joined the promenade. The surface of the water shimmered under the sun’s rays, but the next moment, one of the fat storm clouds pushed in front of it and cast the entire city in a gloomy shadow.

Immediately, I wondered if it was possible to go to a beach somewhere here. The water was probably icy, but it would be a welcome refreshment in these unusually high temperatures at these latitudes. It had to be around twenty-eight degrees because it was pleasantly warm. The heat in California would have been too much for me now, and yet I missed it—just as I missed Larissa.

She had finally read my old message and texted me when we had been on our way downtown.

Yet she knew I hadn’t been in any relationships since David.

I answered a bit enviously, and then we had arrived. 

Later, we would continue texting. Hopefully.

I stood on a stone staircase that led down to the sprawling marketplace, which was bustling with a surprising number of people. Around me, apartment buildings alternated with small shops where residents and tourists went in and out. I couldn’t exactly tell them apart, but some had different accents and an older man had asked us for directions to a place called Lola’s Diner. I didn’t know where it was, but luckily, I had my mother with me. She knew her way around here surprisingly well, which made me wonder if she had ever been away.

“It’s good to be back,” Mum sighed with a smile, as if she had read my mind. She stood next to me, looking over the stall-filled square as if we were in paradise.

“Why did you move away then?” 

She had probably left for further study.

“You know there aren’t the best job opportunities here. At least, there weren’t back then.” 

Obviously, there were better job opportunities now. And the fact that Mum had an official permanent position at the DeLoughrey Science Center, or DLSC, didn’t make it any better for me. On the contrary. The chances were not good that I would be going back to California anytime soon.

In theory, yes, I could move out and do whatever I wanted, especially since I would be eighteen in two days. But I lacked the financial means to do such thing and so I was at the mercy of my mother’s plans until I got my desired university degree and a steady job. Which meant I was pretty much screwed. And I wasn’t Larissa, who would have just done that.

I wonder what she was up to right now. I’m sure she had hooked up with one of those countless guys who were always following her around, and was using him as a photo object on the beach. Two of her weaknesses in one sentence.

Mum winked at me encouragingly, and together we strode down the stairs that led us directly to the market. 

Colorful stalls, mainly those of fruit and vegetable vendors, lined the square. 

We turned into a row of stalls selling old stuff. Colorful jewelry, cute pendants, and abstruse items filled the tables. 

Next, we entered an aisle with slightly fewer people.

Beaming with joy, I looked at Mum. 

She returned my smile.

“Look around here all you want. I’m two rows over by the fruits and vegetables.”