“Jae?” I call out. Nothing. I quickly move toward the bed and sit along the edge. His skin is all gray and chapped, peeling. I lean down toward his face. After a still moment, I thank God he’s breathing. It’s shallow, but he’s not dead. “Shit.” What the hell is happening to him?
“You find him?” Nino calls out from the front door. “Is he alive?”
“Yeah,” I shout. “Hold on.” Gently, I grab his shoulder and urge him onto his back. He rolls over, no resistance at all. He’s not wearing his glasses and his eyes are closed, lips parted as a faint breath passes between them. “Jae. Can you hear me?”
Nothing. I place my palm against his ashen cheek and put more weight behind my voice. “Jae, open your eyes.” It takes a few seconds, even though it feels like ten minutes. Slowly, his heavy lids open like slits. His usually warm chestnut eyes are white and milky, and he’s not looking directly at me. His gaze is vacant, lifeless.
Still holding his face, I lean down into him so that our foreheads touch. “Three words, okay? ‘Nino, come in.’ Can you do that for me, please?”
He closes his eyes against the warmth of my face, and I think he’s unconscious. I’ve lost him. But a long moment later, the words come out in a whisper, faint and dry.
“Nino… come in.”
I sit up straight and take a deep breath, hearing Nino’s footfalls bounding toward us. Soon, he’s in the doorframe and hovering behind me. “Jesus. He… he looks like a dried-out vampire. Haru was right. Look at him.”
I turn to Nino with my eyes wide, the panic settling in my chest. “What the fuck do we do?”
Nino shrugs. “Feed him?”
“Jae doesn’t feed. He’s never drunk blood. Never wanted to. Should we take him to the hospital?”
Nino shakes his head. “He is the doctor! And he looks like a starving vampire to me, Jun. My father looked like this shortly after my mother died, and Haru looked like this once when we first met. I’m not a professional, but I know this condition.”
“We can’t just give him ranked-vampire blood. What if I kill him? What if I fuck up his body forever?”
“Alright, hold on.” Nino pulls his smartphone from the pocket of his suit pants. “I’m calling Haru.”
“He won’t pick up—he probably doesn’t even have his fucking phone!”
Nino dials and brings the phone to his ear. “I’m calling Asao. He’s with him… Hey, Asao? Can you grab Haru, please?” He walks into the hallway. I stare down at this decaying husk of the doctor, shaking my head.
“What the hell is happening to you?” And why now? Did I do this somehow? Did he do something to trigger this? He said he’s been with vampires before—that’s practically all he dated in England. Has this happened in the past and he just kept it from me? Does this happen once every six months, like he’s a fucking part-time vampire. A million questions are running through my mind when Nino walks back in the room.
“Right. Okay, I love you.” He exhales a deep breath when he pulls the phone from his ear. “Haru said feed him.”
“Fuck.” I rub my palm down my face and take a deep breath. I can’t believe this.
Nino watches me, his gaze soft and his voice calm. “I know… offering yourself on a whim like this isn’t ideal. But you like Jae, right? You’ve been spending time with him and he’s a good guy?”
With my eyes closed, I massage my forehead with my fingers, trying to process this situation while simultaneously wrestling with my ego. “I’ll do it. Just give me a minute, please?”
Nino nods. “Sure. I’ll go clean up the kitchen and give you some privacy. There’s a market down the street. I’ll grab him something to eat. He’s lost a lot of weight.”
“Thanks.” Slow breaths, in and out.
“No problem. You’re not alone in this, Jun. Whatever is happening to him, we’ll help. He’s our kin.” Nino picks up the bottles on the floor in the bedroom before leaving, heading toward the kitchen.
He’s our kin… He’s not supposed to be our damn kin. He’s supposed to be a human. Shaking my head, I bring my palm up to my mouth, but hesitate.
What if we bond?
If he is a vampire, we’ve slept together and I’ve fed from him… What if this is the final piece? The second he takes a sip of my blood, we’re locked into each other for the rest of our lives? The only possible outlet would be a broken bond, which I understand to be a painful and horrific process (if you survive it). I’ve only known this male a month. I like him, but do I want to be tied to him forever?
I try to take another deep breath, but my chest is tight. I can’t let him die here. Do I waste more time by telling Nino and Haruka that we need to find someone else—simultaneously putting Jae’s life in jeopardy and looking like a fucking coward?
I will my incisors to elongate and bite down into my own flesh before twisting toward Jae again. I swallow hard, bringing my palm down to his parted lips. “Jae, you need to drink this.” I wait, terrified. Not even knowing if he’ll do it. If he even hears me.
Slowly, I feel the flicker of his tongue against my hand, his eyes still closed. A few seconds later, he lifts his chin into my palm, his tongue flattening against my flesh to take in more blood. I reach down with my free hand and wrap my fingers against the back of his hair, then gently lift his head upright from the pillow.
He’s feeding. His Adam’s apple is bobbing from swallowing and he’s breathing a little deeper. I’m staring down at him, watching him. Nothing is happening and the room is silent.
My mind is wrestling. I’m thinking about how I like to keep my life simple—I design and make clothes, I fund Mom’s hospital and I date humans to avoid ranked vampires and their aristocrat drama. That’s me. It’s been me for the past fifty-five years since my father died. It keeps me free, unburdened. I love it.
How I ended up sitting in a messy apartment and feeding a human–ranked-vampire hybrid is beyond me. I’m beside myself. I don’t know if I should be upset at him for hiding this from me or with myself for chasing him to begin with.
In the hour it takes for Jae to rouse, I tell Nino that I fed from Jae about a week ago, and that he does indeed taste like a ranked vampire. It’s my big revelation, but Nino isn’t surprised.
“Haru found out a lot of interesting stuff while he was in Hong Kong,” he tells me. He’s sitting on the floor across from me with his legs drawn up, knees bent and his back pressed against the wall. “He thinks Jae has always been a vampire, but he doesn’t know it. I guess there are clans that did this in ancient days—repressed their bloodlines, like reluctant vampires.”
I draw back. “He thinks Jae is from an ancient clan?”
Nino shakes his head. “Not necessarily. He thinks Jae is repressed more recently than that, since his mother was sick and he feels anxious around us. He can’t say how many generations, but maybe starting from the late 1800s? It’s all conjecture.”
“So why is this happening now? Have I done something to trigger him?”
“Don’t know. Possibly. Haru said there was some info on the process of actual repression, but none on reawakening the bloodline.”
“You think that’s what’s happening to him now? An awakening?”
“Don’t you?” Nino breathes a laugh, incredulous. “Looks like it to me.”
After that, I stare into space, wondering what the actual fuck I’ve gotten myself into. The only thing that snaps me out of it is Jae’s shifting behind me on the bed. I’m sitting on the floor with my back against the bedframe. I turn my head, and Jae is haphazardly trying to push himself upright.
I shift myself up to sit on the bed, then grab his arms to help him. His skin is flaky and rough, and he’s shaking. His weary eyes are less milky now—like milk with honey mixed in.
“Take it easy,” I urge.
“Wh-what’s wrong with me?” His voice comes out in a scratchy whisper. “Why—”
“You don’t know?” I ask. Because somehow, I can’t believe that he wouldn’t know. That he would be totally blind to something innate like this about himself. That he would have no inkling of it in his conscious mind.
He’s still shaking as I hold his arms, but he meets my gaze. “I—I thought… I had the flu. This is not the flu.”
“You don’t have the flu,” Nino says from across the room. Jae whips his head to look at him, as if he hadn’t known he was there.
He clenches his fists and lowers his head, shaking it. “What’s wrong with me?” He’s scared. Genuinely terrified as I gently hold his wrists in my hands. I can feel the fear and confusion rolling off him. My frustration is melting. He didn’t lie to me. If he did, he’s in the wrong profession and missed his chance at being an Oscar-winning actor.
