I lean into him, pressing my forehead into his temple because when I do things like this, he always seems to calm down. “Breathe, Jae.” He does. His shoulders rise and fall in a deep breath. He does this a few times, and the shaking lessens.

When I lift my head, his eyes are closed. “We’ll tell you what we think is happening, but you need a bath—probably some food too. How do you feel?”

Jae opens his eyes. They’re already a little browner. “Confused.”

“Physically…” Nino smiles from across the room. “How’s your body?”

Jae blinks over at him. “Confused.”

Nino laughs. I shake my head.

“Alright.” I stand up. “Bath first. Can you walk?”

Jae offers a shaky nod. Nino stands from the floor and meets us at the bed. He helps me pull Jae up, and we both guide him toward the bathroom.

He wakes up a little more as I bathe and scrub him. His skin is peeling off and shedding like I’m going to clean and leave him raw—flaking off and disappearing down the drain. But when I’m done, he’s fine. His skin is soft and supple, and his color is normal again, like nothing happened. Like I dreamt all of it.

He’s livelier by the time we’re done scrubbing, so I leave him to rinse and dry himself off. Nino is still wandering around and cleaning up (I’m realizing he must be a neat freak, because he’s gone beyond the bedroom and is now tidying up Jae’s makeshift office in a different room, which he definitely does not need to do), but I head to the main living room area near the kitchen and pull out my phone.

I’m losing my shit and I need a sanity check. I dial Asao since he’s more reliable to answer, then ask to speak to Haruka. It only takes a second for his deep voice to register through the line.

“Hello, Jun. How is he?”

“He’s getting dressed.” I’m pacing the floor and rubbing the back of my neck. “He seems better after the bath and drinking my blood—Shit. There was so much dead skin, but he’s fine now.”

“His improving after your feeding him and the decaying flesh are the final proof,” Haruka says. “He is one of us and he is changing.”

This is fucking unbelievable. “So what do I do? And he’s still not vampiric—not totally. He doesn’t have fangs and he can’t feed for himself. Should I keep feeding him? Or maybe we should find him a different source? What’s best? And why is this happening now?” I’m not trying to pawn him off on someone else. I’m not. But I also have no clue what I’m getting myself into and it genuinely scares me.

“Which question would you like me to answer first?” Haruka asks.

“Why is this happening now?”

“I believe your natures are drawn to each other. It is why you were uniquely capable of discerning his scent and noticing him before Nino or I did. After you pointed it out, though, it was obvious.”

I’m standing still, thinking. “I fed from him last week for the first time. He tasted amazing. Too good.”

“Perhaps your feeding from him is what has triggered this? The unique intimacy of feeding in combination with your compatible natures.”

“So it’s my fault he’s like this?”

“Not completely, but in a sense, yes. Junichi, you need to make a decision.”

“About?”

“Will you see him through this? We do not know much about this circumstance, but what is true of all vampiric vitality is that consistency is key. His feeding source should be the same as he slowly awakens—and high quality since he is obviously ranked. His source should also make his transition as comfortable as possible, without stress, since we don’t know what to expect. Should we attempt to find someone else? Or are you willing to commit to this process of his awakening?”

Hearing something, I turn to see Jae quietly stepping out of the hallway and into the kitchen. He’s barefoot, and his already slender frame is now gaunt from weight loss. He’s dressed in clean sweats and his golden hair is darker than normal because its wet. No glasses. We lock eyes in a cautious moment before he goes to sit in the kitchen.

I nod, pacing again. “I am. Of course.”

“I think this is the best choice. I will come tomorrow to speak with Jae directly about his circumstance. It is my responsibility as his realm leader.”

I shake my head. “You’ve been digging at this for weeks—inviting him to dinner at your house, flying to Hong Kong and studying in that old library. You’re tickled pink right now, aren’t you?”

There’s a slight pause on the line before he answers me.

“A little.”

Twenty-Three

Jae

I had thought… that when I eventually took a bath with Junichi, it’d be this very sexy, steamy affair. Like something out of a lush erotica novella. Teak wood and steam and slippery hands and panting. Slow thrusts and deep kisses.

Never once did I fantasize about him scrubbing dead skin off my withered body because I was too weak to do it myself. Nor did I imagine Nino occasionally popping in to make sure we’re both alright.

Nope. Not how I pictured that at all.

I’m sitting at my kitchen table, mindlessly eating the miso soup and rice that Nino has kindly purchased for me. Whatever happened to me… Whatever is happening to me, it went from zero to sixty. On Monday I felt tired at work. As the day progressed, it was getting more and more difficult to pay attention to what my patients were saying to me.

On Tuesday morning, I woke up simultaneously exhausted and feeling like a dried-up sponge left on the side of a kitchen sink. I’ve never felt like that—like all the moisture inside me had been wrung out or siphoned somewhere, leaving me brittle. I likened it to dehydration, but no matter how much water I drank, I wasn’t sated. All it did was cause me to run to the bathroom every twenty minutes… until I was crawling to the bathroom. Then I couldn’t move or do anything, and everything ached like mad.

That feeling… it’s still there. Almost threatening to overtake me again. Nino is busy cleaning my whole flat, I think (God bless him—utterly humiliating), and Junichi is pacing back and forth in my living room, talking to Haruka on his smartphone. I know it’s Haruka because Junichi changes when he speaks to him. They’re friends, but he’s a little less haughty.

I’m staring at him, and I want him. I always want him, but it feels different somehow. Before I felt wildly satisfied with his mere closeness and conversation. A kiss? Wonderful. Sex? Brill. I still want those things, but something inside me wants even more than that now. As I sit here, I can’t really understand what it is.

Junichi hangs up the phone and is walking toward me. He’s been oddly quiet since giving me a bath. When he re-dressed, he ditched his suit jacket. Now he’s wearing a crisp white shirt (sleeves rolled up to his elbows) and his trousers. The entire suit was black, but subtly patterned in a satiny off-black matte paisley design. Gorgeous. Yet another thing that would make me look like a clown but makes Junichi look like the most dapper creature in all Japan.

When he sits down, I can’t help but stare at him. His irises seem almost muted in color, but still vividly expressive. Right now, there’s kindness there. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright.” My voice is finally back to normal. It was weird and scratchy when I first woke up. “Thank you… for doing all this. I’m very sorry to have interrupted your event. I appreciate the help.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asks.

“Everything went pear-shaped fairly quickly. I thought I was coming down with something and I’d be fine after a day or two. By the time I realized I was wrong, I literally couldn’t move.”

Junichi nods at this, folding his arms as he leans back. “Two things. One—the board approved your surrogate project. So when you’re ready, you can start your first trial.”

Despite feeling like shit warmed up, I’m genuinely elated to hear this. “Excellent. I’m looking forward to it. Have you told Haruka and Nino the good news?”

“That leads me to number two. Haruka is coming to talk to you tomorrow.”

My jaw drops at this, eyes wide. “What? Haruka—here?” Christ. It’s already humiliating enough having Nino here, but Haruka existing in my shabby flat, too? Why didn’t I decorate? I’ve been here five months, for God’s sake. Do I have any food in my fridge? Wine? Tea?

“Yes,” Junichi says, interrupting my worries of being a bad host and decorator. “You can tell him personally tomorrow. He also needs to talk to you. Jae, do you truly have no idea what’s happening to you?”

“What’s happening to me?” Dread is bubbling up from my stomach. “Will you please tell me?” I don’t want to admit it, but the way I looked—the gray, ashen state of my skin—it reminded me of how my mother looked just before she died.