I sigh. “I do miss that Thai restaurant.”

“And I miss going to the pub together on Saturday nights. I miss playing footie with you in Port Meadow on Sundays. We talked all the time, Jae, but now you’re here and you’re Doctor Busy, and it’s like I don’t even exist to you anymore… I want you to come back home.”

Cyrus is staring at me and being so sincere that it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Usually everything is rough and tumble with him—a smack on the shoulder or whack in the back of my head. Some snarky, rude comment that makes me want to punch him. I don’t know if he realizes how close to my face he is. I want to lean back, but I don’t want to trigger him into being a knob again, so I shift my gaze down from his face. “I can’t come back home. I have a contract with the hospital, and… I like it here. I enjoy being busy, and I like my patients and the people I’m meeting. You and Pippa are starting a life together. You don’t need me to be your third wheel—and I don’t want to be.”

I think I’ve made my point when a comfortable silence settles between us. That is, until Cyrus blinks his chocolate eyes at me. “You don’t have to be.”

I frown. “What does that mean?”

“It can just be me and you, if you want that?”

Now I’m blinking at him, utterly lost. I’m about to ask him what the hell he’s talking about, but before I can, he leans in and kisses me. Straight on. Cyrus’s mouth on mine. It’s like I’ve received a jolt of electricity, because I jump back and away from him. He’s still leaning toward me and my eyes are wild. “What in God’s name are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Why?”

“Because… because I fancy you, Jae. I like you.”

Now we’re both staring at each other—Cyrus like he’s just told me the sky is blue, and me like he’s suddenly sprouted a second head.

“What?”

“Is this really so shocking for you?” Cy scowls. “Even my bloody little sister saw it when we were still lads. My father had a vicious talk with me about it when we were teenagers… and once you’d finally left for Japan, Pippa said, ‘My biggest competition is gone.’”

I shake my head. “No. Cy, you are not gay.”

“What if I am?”

“You’re not.”

“Maybe I am, Jae… I’m gay for you.”

“Oh—oh Christ. Oh no—”

“What?” Cyrus says, his brows tight. “What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s awful.”

“It’s romantic.”

I scoff, shaking my head in disbelief. “It is not.”

Cyrus finally sits up straight, folding his arms. “Why? How the hell isn’t it romantic?”

I pause, still awkwardly leaning away from him. “Because all the weight and responsibility of your sexuality is on me, isn’t it? As soon as things go to shit, you’re not ‘gay for me’ anymore—it’ll be my fault you’re gay. My fault that your life is ruined and your family quarrels with you. No thanks, mate.”

“No! I wouldn’t do that to you. It won’t be like that—”

“And what about Pippa?” I ask, incredulous. “You’re to marry her in three months—”

Cyrus grabs my arms and pulls me upright toward him. When I’m close, he uses one hand to thread his fingers against the back of my head while he holds my upper arm tight with the other.

“Will you just—Shit. Can you calm down for a minute? You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to say these things to you—how long I’ve wanted to touch you, you… absurdly clever, perfectly quirky and delightful man.” He leans in, but I lean back this time, still looking at him like he has two heads. I feel as if I’ve entered some upside-down parallel universe.

“Can we please just try?” Cy asks. No, he pleads. His fingers are rubbing against my scalp and his eyes are so soft. He’s never looked at me like this—with such affection and longing. “Please?”

Something inside me wants to give him this. He’s showing vulnerability like I haven’t ever seen from him. He’s my friend—my best mate. I care about him and his feelings. And he was the first bloke I ever had feelings for. My first love, even. My teenaged years were spent either with Cyrus or thinking about Cyrus. Daydreaming about him.

He’s here now, telling me he’s felt the same all along. That he fancies me too and he wants us to try. For some, this is the fairy tale twist. The golden path to a tidy, happy ending.

Not for me.

He’s still holding me when he tries to kiss me again, chasing me as I lean back even further out of his reach. I’m halfway to being flat on my back against the bed when I hear a soft knock against the doorframe. I whip my head to the side and Junichi is there. My heart sinks into my stomach.

“I’m heading home,” he says smoothly, his face unreadable. “Nice meeting you, Cyrus. And Jae, I assume you’ll call me should you need my assistance.” He offers a polite nod, then disappears from the doorframe. Cyrus looks at me with his nose upturned.

“What the hell would you need his assistance for? Who is he to you?”

Panicked and without a word, I pull myself out of Cyrus’s grasp, stand from the bed and yank the sliding door shut behind me as I leave the room and follow after Junichi. Christ my life. Utter shambles. A fiasco.

I come into the living room space just as Junichi is putting his dress shoes on to leave. I’m standing there, but he’s ignoring me. I keep my voice low. “That wasn’t what it looked like.”

Junichi stands, staring at me with his black irises. He says nothing.

“There’s nothing between us,” I say. “I’m not confused about who I want, Jun.”

“What about who you are? Are you still confused about that?”

I take the few steps forward to close the gap between us so that we’re about two feet apart. “I’m… getting there. That will take more than a day, I think. Is that fair?”

“It is.” He looks down at me. His dark irises are totally unreadable, so I tell him as much.

“I can’t read you when you’re looking at me like this.”

He reaches out and takes hold of my hand. My heart warms when he brings it up to his mouth then places a soft kiss into my palm. “You don’t need to explain your actions to me, Jae. You can sleep with whomever you please.”

I raise my eyebrow, triggered. “Can I?”

He breathes a warm, amused laugh into my palm, then kisses it again. He doesn’t answer me, so I go on. “We can’t have sex… but can we still be close like this? Can we kiss?”

He’s essentially making out with my palm now. It’s sexy, but I would rather he did it with my face. He speaks in between kisses. “I never said we couldn’t.”

I scrunch my nose. “We can have a snuggle sometimes?”

He laughs. “Do vampires snuggle?”

“Mm, it’s good. We do it well. Expert snugglers.”