“Shall we go?”
Still holding my hand, Jun pulls me toward the door as Asao holds it open for us.
Forty-Seven
Jae
The ceremony took place on a large balcony overlooking the lake and mountains. Everyone was so poised and attentive, and their clothing reminded me of a scene from some classic film—back when everyone cared a great deal more about how they looked and dressed when they walked out of the house. The Great Gatsby or The Age of Innocence.
Giovanni and Cellina sparkled (not literally), and their love and commitment to one another as they read their vows genuinely made my heart flutter. Haruka’s reading of the bond certificate was fascinating. The document outlined generations of Cellina’s and Giovanni’s respective families starting from the eighteenth century and leading up to today, creating a winding, storied path of how these two unique families came to be forever entwined. His rich voice was spellbinding, and it was as if everyone were frozen in time, not even breathing as we hung on to his every word.
By sunset, food has been served and devoured, drinks filled and refilled. I’m sitting out under the atrium with Haruka, but we’re alone. Junichi is popular. I had a sense of this when I searched for him on the Internet, way back before our first real date. And again when I went to his shop and saw him beautifully posed on multiple magazine covers. But seeing it in person—having vampires call out to him from across the room or interrupt conversations to pull him away, gushing about the latest celebrity or icon he’s dressed—it becomes quite tangible, doesn’t it?
But he’s stayed with me this whole time. He’s never once left me alone, and when someone has taken hold of his arm and pulled him along, he’s immediately grabbed my hand and pulled me right with him. Only when Haruka has found us and assures Jun that we won’t go far does he separate from me.
Haruka and I are out on the balcony again, sitting in the front row of empty seats that overlook the now darkened water. It moves silently in the fading light, the sun setting behind the shadowed mountains. Little white and yellow lights from houses set in the hills are flickering on, their reflections dancing brightly within the water. The sky is a cool gradient of deep blue and soft yellow.
I inhale a breath, trying to feel the tranquility and beauty of this scene both inside my body and out. Maybe if I breathe in deep enough, I’ll hold on to it and be able to use this feeling again later on when I need it.
“How is life in the English countryside?” Haruka asks, his voice somehow perfectly in tune with the calm atmosphere. Like a lullaby.
“It’s alright. I don’t have any complaints.”
Haruka sits back to make himself comfortable, crossing his leg and clasping his hands in his lap. “I, too, lived in the English countryside for several years.”
“Yes, I remember. Sidmouth, right? You told me that first time I had dinner at your house.”
“Correct. I lived that life, but when I think back on my experience, I was far from ‘alright.’ In fact, it was, frankly, a subpar existence. But perhaps your circumstance is much different than mine was.”
I pause, letting that sink in for a moment. Contemplating how I spend my days—working, not eating, drinking factory-made synthetic blood, then working some more. Sometimes crying in the attic. Those are the worst days, of course. On better days, I walk out to the lake… But then sometimes, I sit there, staring at the glassy surface and wondering what it would be like to walk into it and maybe never come back out.
“I was miserable,” Haruka continues in my silence. “I did not realize how miserable I was, though, until someone befriended me. It was like sitting alone in a dark room but then having the light turned on. Suddenly I could see, and it was impossible to sit there and alone again.”
I smile. “Nino?”
Haruka returns the gesture, his ruby eyes sparkling in the ambient darkness. “Yes. It was unintentional on his part, but he showed me something important. Well, many things. But primarily, that I should not be alone—isolating myself, drinking blood unfit for my biological needs and living a generally malnourished life. I told myself for years that I was content existing this way, but when I reminisce and allow my mind to wander back to that time… I would not wish that life on anyone.”
I understand what he’s saying. I do, but… “So you bonded with Nino?”
“No.” Haruka shakes his head. “Not immediately. First, I returned home. To my community.”
“But… not everyone has that. A home and a community.”
“You do.”
I pause at that, because I’m pretty sure I don’t. I have a house… and Audrey when she’s not traveling. But that’s not necessarily what I meant.
“With us, Jae. Your community and home are with us.”
“It’s… it’s not really my home, though. It’s Junichi’s. I’m just like… the friend who got to tag along to the party because he knows somebody with a real invitation.” When I meet Haruka’s eyes, he’s looking at me like I’m nuts.
“No,” he says. “That’s not how it is. You awakened and were reborn under my realm. Nino and I have helped to guide both you and Junichi through this, so we feel a unique kinship and responsibility for your well-being and development. I had assumed that we also shared a unique camaraderie through our research interests and studies. Perhaps I was wrong and my amity was one-sided?”
“No—no, of course not! I appreciate you and Nino more than I can express, I just thought… I didn’t belong there after what happened with Jun.”
“You belong, regardless of your relationship with Junichi. You are always welcome within our home and society, but it is your choice.”
“Thank you, Haruka.” My hands are clasped tight in the gap of my legs now as I think of something I want to ask. Something I’ve been privately looking into but haven’t had any luck with. I decide to take a chance. “Are there… vampire therapists? I mean, professionals that I can talk to who deal with vampire matters? I haven’t been able to find anyone in Bristol or even London, and a human feels wildly inappropriate.”
“There are. But they are rare—as rare as vampire doctors, perhaps? Our culture is progressive in many ways, but in some, we are severely lacking. Mental and emotional health resources being one of them. Both Nino and Sydney see someone in Osaka, occasionally. I’m sure they’d be happy to speak with you about it in more detail.”
Brilliant. That possibility alone makes me feel more excited than I have in a long while, and I’m not sure what that says about my current state of mind, but here we are. As we sit in silence together and I take note of his soft energy beside me, I decide to risk another likely unorthodox question. “May I ask why you keep your energy stifled like this? I feel it flowing freely from Nino, but from you, it feels… muffled?”
He smiles his patient, pope-like smile at me. “Yes, it is simply a personal preference. When I am in the privacy of my home or with Nino, I allow my energy to flow freely. But in crowded spaces like this, I habitually stifle my aura. It is simply what I am most comfortable with.”
“I understand.” It makes sense. But I notice he’s the only one who does it. Every other purebred here, their energy radiates outward to varying degrees. Some louder than others, as if they’re trying to show off, maybe? Attract someone? I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know enough about mine yet, but it’s been largely dormant since the bedroom incident on Sunday. Maybe it wore itself out.
“If I may counter with an equally personal question?” Haruka asks.
“Sure.”
“Of course, we are more than happy to help you achieve more finite control of your nature. However, does Junichi create a safe environment for you to experiment? To start, it would be best to learn and understand your energy while in an intimate space—letting it comfortably radiate outward and embracing the unique feel of it.”
“I—Well…” Maybe? If I gave him the chance? The way he talked to me about it when we were in Bristol made it sound like he would. But I don’t know.
“Haru—G wants you to meet someone.” Nino is walking down the aisle, backlit by the bright lights pouring out of the inside hall. I can still hear the music of the live band playing, the sound floating atop laughter and animated conversation, glasses clinking and dishes clanging. It’s like a layered cake of joyful sounds.
“Will you be alright for a little while, Jae?” Nino asks when he’s beside me.
“Yup.” I nod, suddenly noticing a staircase in the corner of the balcony that looks like it leads down to the first level and closer to the water and garden. “I’m just going to take a walk.”
“Okay.” Nino smiles. “Let’s get together tomorrow sometime to talk about your aura?”
“Sounds good.” I also thank Haruka as he stands, then watch the two of them link arms and slowly walk down the aisle, talking as they stroll back inside. Nino says something, because I hear Haruka’s bubbly laugh echo just before they disappear into the crowd.
Everything feels warm and fuzzy here as I look up at the night sky. It’s darker now, the glow of yellow all but vanished. The expanse is velvety blue with speckles of bright stars. I stand, stretch my arms and begin my descent on the winding stone steps. I guessed right, because I hear less of the music and chatter and more of the water splashing against the rocks as I reach the bottom. There’s a winding path along the water with cypress and pine trees lining the opposite side. It’s peaceful as I walk and simply breathe it all in.
I find a stone bench within an alcove of trees that overlooks the lake, and it isn’t long before I distinctly sense my escort heading my way. I’ve probably wandered too far and he needs to make sure I’m alright. It makes me chuckle—how attentive Junichi suddenly is. I suppose he’s always been that way, though. Even from the start. There was just a blip in the movie reel. Or maybe a scratch in the vinyl record or our song.
When he’s close, I smile. “Hiya.”
“Hey—are you tired of partying?” He sits beside me, unbuttoning his jacket and rolling his shoulders.
“No. It was nice down here, so I wanted to walk. You didn’t need to leave. I’m fine, Jun.”
He leans back against the bench with both palms behind him, then folds his leg. “I wanted to sit with you, Jae. If that’s alright?”
“It’s alright.” I follow his gaze out to the lake. It’s so lovely, and we both sit quietly, just listening to the water gently breaking against the rocks, over and over. It’s soothing.
