"My term as a Bold Lion is done. However, I'll still be going to Yipton next week, and for company I may mingle with the group, unless there is any objection."
"You'll be most welcome, I'm sure!" Jardine thought a moment.
"There's a meeting tonight; I'll explain about Volmer, and I'll mention that you'll be among the party."
The half-term ended; the recess began. On Milden morning early the Bold Lions, Glawen and about eighty tourists arrived at the ferry terminal, changed sols for scrip at the Currency Control desk, then boarded the Faroe.
The Bold Lions numbered eight: Uther and Kiper Offaw, Jardine Laverty, Shugart Veder, Aries Clattuc, Cloyd Diffin, Kirdy Wook and a new member, Dauncy Diffin. All save Aries gave Glawen a courteous welcome, and explained how they had never believed the allegations against him.
"The idea is foolish on the face of it," said Uther Offaw.
Aries merely grunted. For the occasion he wore a fine new black cloak, with an embroidered silver cincture at the belt line Casting a morose side glance toward Glawen, Aries said: "He's still a Bureau B snoop, and, mark my words, he's coming along to Yipton on some kind of funny business."
Kirdy came forward, his big pink face screwed up in irritation.
"Let's all relax and have a good time!" Today Kirdy wore the costume of a backcountry Soum rancher: a light brown twill shin, blue-and white-striped knee-length trousers, with a broad-brimmed tan bush ranger's hat.
"Just so long as he realizes he's here on sufferance," muttered Aries.
Glawen only laughed and turned away.
Upon boarding the Faraz, each of the passengers received a pamphlet entitled "Information for Visitors to the Lutwen Islands." As Glawen waited for departure, he went to stand by the rail and read the pamphlet:
The visitor to the Lutwen Islands--Yipton, as the place is familiarly known--will surely enpy his visit and find a truly amazing diversity of entertainments, so long as he exercises common courtesy and strictly obeys Yip regulations.
REMEMBER: Yipton is not just a picturesque suburb of Araminta Station, but more like an independent settlement on a far world. Yip society is unique in the Gaean Reach.
DO NOT try to understand the Yip society or-deal with it in ordinary terms; you will only make difficulties for yourself. Learn the following rules and abide by them.
BE WARNED! The Yips lack reverence for what you might call "human rights." The Yips live a harsh and practical existence, and often cannot spare the luxury of tedious legal exercises. It is easier to eliminate a problem than to solve it; the Yips are not averse to cutting the Gordian knot. Protect yourself by prudent behavior, keeping out of
PRINCIPAL SOURCES OF TROUBLE.
NOTHING IS FREE except the air you breathe. You will be charged when you use the hotel toilet. Should you ask directions, pay your informant five dinkets. The Yip is neither grasping nor avaricious; he is merely exact, practical and meticulous. Everything costs; when you avail yourself of an item, or a service, you must pay.
NEVER ATTEMPT TO CHEAT OR SHORT-CHANGE, even as a joke. You might suffer a harsh penalty. PAY. This one word has eased a multitude of people through difficulties. If you think a Yip is overcharging, or mulcting you, take revenge in this fashion: wait till he visits you in your community, then overcharge him. This is a classical expedient, known across the ages.
SEXUAL MORALITY DIFFERS FROM YOUR OWN. This is safe to say, no matter how particular, or idiosyncratic, are your own preferences. Fornication is a casual act, with no emotional envelope. What you may consider apathy is usually simple disinterest or even boredom. Like any other service, it is priced according to an exact schedule. These schedules, incidentally, make amusing souvenirs; they are for sale at three sols1 per copy. This may seem exorbitant, but shrewd old Titus Pompo charges what the market will bear.
Question: Is Yipton dangerous for the tourist?
Answer; Not at all, if he obeys the rules.
Question: What are some rules, other than those outlined above?
Answer;
RULE: Do not wander at random. Almost certainly you will get lost. At worst you will never be seen again--though this is the extreme case. Keep to those ways and canals marked on the attached chart. Even better: hire a guide.
RULE: Accept nothing, neither goods nor services, without first inquiring and settling upon a price. To reiterate, nothing is free. Find out the price first!
' The value of the sol is fixed at the worth of one hour of unskilled labor, under standard conditions.
RULE: Do not try to become friendly with any Yip, male or female. Your efforts will be in vain. Yips tolerate outsiders only because they bring in money. Their natural feelings toward you are a mild but definite detestation. Do not be deceived by politeness; it is a social lubricant. You might as well respond in kind, though the Yips will not particularly mind if you are cross. Complaints are not worth the breath it takes to utter them. If you are really annoyed about something, write the Oomphaw a letter.
RULE: Never, never, never go down upon the floor of the Caglioro (the Pot). You will lose all your possessions, including your clothes to the last stitch. If you resist you will be injured.
RULE: Confine your drinking of wines, punches, beer and so forth to the hotel. It is advisable to eat only what is served at the hotel, for a variety of reasons.
RULE: Never interfere in any Yip activity. The Yips live by their own rules which seem to serve them fairly well.
RULE: Never touch, caress, stroke, pat or hug a Yip in an idle or casual manner. He or she strongly objects to such contact. Above all, do not strike a Yip; no one will protect you from his response. This applies to man or woman alike;
the Yip knows no gallantry nor special concern for the female. To the contrary.
RULE: Should you visit that section known as Pussycat Palace, it is wise to go with a guide from the hotel, who is paid to ensure that you do not come to grief, though the experienced person may go alone in perfect safety.
IN BRIEF: Be cautious! Attempt no reckless acts of individualistic enterprise.
Question: Do the Yips have a sense of humor? Answer: No. Not in a sense you would understand. Question: Are the Yips human?
Answer: This is a subject of ongoing controversy. The answer would seem to be: he is not a true Gaean. It is probable that the Yips form a new and superior species of Homo sapiens terrestrial is
THE CHI FE no mention of Yipton is complete without reference to the Big Chife. At first contact, you will be amazed and appalled. Gradually the impact diminishes. The influence permeates your clothes and lingers, finally attenuating to an almost pleasant musky intimation. This can be considered another souvenir of Yipton. Unlike almost everything else, it is free.
Glawen looked up from the pamphlet, to find the Faraz drifting away from the dock. The Bold Lions, so he noted, sat at a table in the main saloon with flasks of wine in front of them; Kiper already showed signs of jocundity.
Kirdy, who hated the ocean and felt an almost obsessive dread of deep water, sat in a corner where he would not be forced to look out over the sea.
Glawen remained at the rail, watching the familiar contours of Araminta Station receding across the water. On knife-edge keels the Faraz sliced into the northeast, cutting narrow furrows into the face of the transparent dark blue sea.
Glawen went to the forward observation lounge, where he sat considering his mission. The Bold Lions had put no definite term on the excursion; most talked in terms of three days, though wondered if the resources of Pussycat Palace could be exploited in anything less than five days. If all went well, three days might be adequate to learn what they wished to know. Still, soft and easy were the guiding words, and he must make sure that Kirdy fully subscribed to this doctrine.
Almost as if awaiting his cue, Kirdy dropped into the seat beside him, with his back to the observation windows, so that he was not obliged to look at the sea.
"So here you are! I wondered if you had fallen overboard." He grimaced and risked a glance over his shoulder.
"Horrible thought!"
"No, I'm still aboard."
"You should be in the saloon with the others," said Kirdy, using the chiding tone he tended to take with Glawen.
"It's no mystery why you're not popular. You act as if you consider yourself a superior being."
From time to time Glawen suspected that Kirdy did not like him much. He gave a noncommittal shrug.
"Better to say, I act as if I prefer to avoid Aries' insults."
