Torville jiggled a little in the scale pan, as if he might be laughing.
The clouds cleared from the gazing ball, and Vivien’s voice filled the room. “Torville?” she screeched. “Torville, you jelly-brained marmot, what have you done?”
Pettifog winced, as if he thought Vivien might reach her bony hands out of the gazing ball and wring his neck. “Madam,” he said, “it’s a pleasure to see you again.”
“It shouldn’t be,” Vivien snapped. “We certainly aren’t pleased. Is that our brother hiding behind you, imp? Is he too ashamed to face us himself?”
Marigold could see the ends of Collin’s mustache quivering. She hoped he wouldn’t bolt out of the workroom. It was only a matter of time before the Miseries wore away even his good cheer.
“If you’ll allow me, madam,” said Pettifog over the sound of Vivien’s shouting, “I’ll explain. Torville is recovering from an illness. Since he’s still very weak, he’s asked me to speak for him.”
“Skin-crawling sickness, isn’t it?” That was Elgin’s voice, deep and contemptuous. “I heard it from Lord Emberhill, who’d heard it from his driver, who’d gotten the news from Countess Snoot-Harley, who apparently knows my own brother’s condition better than I do. Why didn’t you tell us on Friday?”
“Er,” said Pettifog. “Torville didn’t want you to worry.”
“Oh, we wouldn’t have,” said Vivien. “He looked perfectly all right to me.”
Elgin snorted. “You’re not a physician.”
“And you’re not a lord, but that doesn’t stop you from playing cards with George Emberhill all evening while I’m stuck repairing the window of my garden shed.”
“The ghoul had a near escape,” said Elgin, sounding pleased. “By the way, Torville, Countess Snoot-Harley is also saying you’ve got a new imp working for you. Isn’t your old one up to his duties anymore?”
“She’s not an imp!” Pettifog looked positively insulted. “It should be obvious to anyone that she’s a human child! She hasn’t got wings or horns or even a hint of a tail.” He must have seen the way Marigold was waving wildly at him to stop talking, but he pretended not to notice. “Would you like to speak with the girl instead? She’s right here.”
“Eavesdropping?” said Vivien. “The nerve! Come over here, child!”
Marigold had no choice. “You didn’t need to do that,” she whispered to Pettifog as she came up to the gazing ball.
“They would have found out soon enough,” Pettifog whispered back. “Why should I have to do all the talking? I’ve got fingernails to clip, too, you know.”
He started to wander away, but Marigold caught his sleeve. “You’ll stay right here with me,” she told him, “or I’ll unravel all your embroidered tea towels, one by one.”
Pettifog gasped. “You wouldn’t!”
“Stop yammering!” Vivien cried from the gazing ball. “Turn and face us, both of you.” The Miseries were wonderfully quiet for a moment, though Marigold didn’t like how they were studying her.
“It’s a dull-looking thing,” Elgin said at last. He poked a finger in Marigold’s direction. “What’s the point of it?”
“She cleans up Torville’s messes, I suppose,” said Vivien. “You know he’s too lazy to do anything himself.”
“I don’t like children,” Elgin said. “They get underfoot, and they bite.” His face loomed larger in the gazing ball. “Do you bite, child?”
“Oh, yes,” said Marigold. “Almost every day.” She disliked the Miseries enough that she might have been tempted to bite them if they’d been there, even though she was sure Elgin’s arm tasted like moldy furniture and Vivien’s like overripe fruit. Behind her, Collin swallowed a laugh.
“I’m surprised at you, Torville,” Vivien said. “I never dreamed you’d steal a second child, not after you spent so much time griping about the first one.” She shoved Elgin out of the way. “Do you know what a mess you made in Blumontaine?”
“We didn’t make a mess!” Now Marigold was sure she would have bitten the Miseries. “We — Torville, that is — turned Queen Hetty against Foggy Gorge in less than five minutes.”
“I saw it myself,” said Pettifog. “I can personally guarantee that Queen Hetty won’t be attending the peace negotiations.”
“Then why is she on her way to Imbervale right now?” crowed Vivien. “Traveling with six full suitcases, all her advisers, and an iguana in a wig? Half the kingdom saw her leave, Torville. I knew you couldn’t be trusted to get things right!”
“But that’s not possible!” said Pettifog. “When we left the queen, she was ready to order seventy-five gallons of quicksand! She was going to seek revenge! She was —”
“She was about to speak to Rosalind,” Marigold reminded him. The morning’s peach cobbler felt heavy in her stomach. She’d crafted Collin’s disguise, traveled across the kingdoms, fooled the guards in Blumontaine, and told stories to the queen, but Rosalind had undone it all in an instant. “She ruined our plan. I don’t know what she said to Queen Hetty, but it must have been convincing.”
Pettifog’s wings slumped. “She’s a very persuasive person.”
“And you’re a bunch of ninnies!” said Vivien. “You too, Elgin. You’re the one who fell into a dragon’s nest.”
“I did not fall,” said Elgin. “I simply lost my footing. You should show more concern toward someone who’s almost been eaten. Did you know the Hartswood dragon’s just had triplets?”
“I know you were too busy saving your skin to catch up with the queen of Hartswood,” said Vivien, “or the queen of Carroway. Along with Blumontaine, that’s three opportunities you and Torville have squandered.”
“Don’t pretend you did any better.” Elgin leaned close enough for Marigold to see some of the scratches he’d gotten from the baby dragons. The worst one, across his forehead, made him look even more alarming than usual. “When Vivien showed up in Stickelridge to steal those hunting dogs, the king was delighted. He was just heading off to Imbervale for the peace negotiations and needed someone to look after his hounds. He practically begged her to take them.” Elgin laughed. “And when she got the dogs to Puddlewater, the royal family thought it was the nicest surprise they’d had in months. The little princesses chased those hounds all around the palace and had a marvelous time.”
“It’s not funny,” said Vivien sourly. “I doubt you could have cast a transportation spell on twelve dogs at once.” This only made Elgin laugh harder. “And don’t you join in with him, Torville. We’re in a real mess now, and I blame you. By this time next week, the Cacophonous Kingdoms might be at peace, all because you said we needed to be subtle!” She snorted. “Well, I’m done with subtlety.”
Elgin’s laughter had faded into more of a dry cough. “She’s right, brother. We tried to do things your way, but as usual, your way didn’t work. What we need now is big magic. The powerful stuff.”
Marigold thought Torville had mentioned big magic once or twice. She didn’t like the sound of it.
“I know you’ll object,” Elgin continued, “because you’re squeamish and soft —”
“He certainly is not,” muttered Pettifog.
“And none of us likes going hat in hand to Skellytoes and Petronella and the rest. It’s embarrassing, and the others may end up doing us more harm than good. But the rulers of all ten kingdoms will be in Imbervale by tomorrow, and we can’t work a massive spell quickly enough to stop this peace by ourselves. We’ve got no choice but to ask the society for help.”
