🌎 🌎 “Path to Manhood” by Dane C. Hawkins

“It’s only one year and you aren’t graduating until December anyway.”

“We work together too much. I thought that was one of your rules? Don’t make your business messy.”

“There’s always something worth making an exception to a rule.”

It seems he has a response for any and every excuse she can come up with until a group of six black women in their early to mid-twenties come into the restaurant. Duc, facing the front door, spots them over Samantha’s shoulder and she feels him slowly pull his hand back from her and his body language slightly changes. Trying to figure out why he suddenly changes, she turns and looks back to see these beautiful women walk deeper into the restaurant. She then remembers why she hasn’t given him a real chance and since they are talking about it, she decides not to hold back.

“That’s why we haven’t dated.” He gets a look of surprise on his face as if he isn’t sure what she’s referring to. “Duc, before the robbery we didn’t have any interest in each other. I was just the girl you and your friends whispered about because you couldn’t tell what race I was. But you definitely didn’t think it was black and that mattered to you. And that’s okay. And you were the guy that had all these women, which made the other ones wonder why. And that may intrigue Riley but it turned me off. A traumatic experience doesn’t really change those issues.”

Duc finally doesn’t have a response for her. He is just filled with disappointment at the realization that the woman he’s had his eye on for so long now is so far out of reach. It’s not something he is accustomed to, and he knows trying to tell her he’s not a hoe would just make him look more like a hoe. Instead, he backs off claiming to want to revisit again later. They spend the rest of lunch talking about their common passion, bouncing ideas of how to innovate their current ventures off one another, and talking about new spots they want to check out. They enjoy each other's company over lunch, as usual, and he drops her off at home before making his way back to his apartment. He finds Mike and Jairus playing video games and waiting to get his vote on which car Jairus should be interested in based on what they saw in those few hours.

The summer continues in this fashion, with Mike spending most of his free time at the apartment hanging out with Jairus and Duc when all three of them aren’t busy working. Duc is a bit jealous of the traditional 9 to 5 jobs giving Mike and Jairus more opportunity to hang out together, but he will never tell them that. What he does do is make his job more conducive to them hanging out with him. After Anthony got back from Essence Festival, he wasted no time trying to link back up with the guys for another happy hour and along with Chris, this began to be a regular thing for them. Duc saw that opportunity to promote something new and ran with it. Especially after Jazzy Belles closed and re-opened after buying the storefront next door and expanding the restaurant with a three-week renovation. He quickly added a hump day and Friday happy hour to take full advantage of the added space and it became a regular spot for his friends after work to start the weekend.

The guys stay busy throughout the summer. Mike and Jairus work hard all week and party harder on the weekend. It is the first time since they have been in school that they all have money. Normally it is just Duc, so he takes full advantage of the chance to do a lot of things he normally passes on because now he’s not the only one that can afford them. They try restaurants they would normally never consider because of the cost. They spend more money on clothes than any of them need to. And they are getting VIP treatment when they party on the weekends because Duc is always hooking things up at his parties. They all just need a summer to have fun with friends and not think about all the traumatic things they went through the previous school year.

Despite the summer months rapidly passing them by, Duc is still very much focused on his hustle. He knows the night scene will never rest even if he does. That’s why he is so mad at himself when Quad pops up at one of the open mic nights at the beginning of August. He totally forgot to get back to him after the night they met and now he looks like he was just blowing him off. It wasn’t his intention, but he got caught up in everything he’s been doing, and it slipped his mind. He finds out quickly that Quad is persistent if nothing else. He never gets discouraged by things being difficult if he makes up his mind that it’s what he wants. When they talk, he doesn’t seem fazed by not hearing from Duc. Duc doesn’t owe him anything and it is Quad who still needs to prove he is worth Duc’s time. So, once again he tells him more about himself. “I didn’t get to tell you when we met before that I’m originally from Philly. My family moved to Atlanta when he was in middle school because my older brother was killed. After that I just started writing as a release for everything I was feeling. That’s how I eventually started rapping.” As he spoke about himself and why he raps, Duc can see he has a story to tell and acknowledges him saying “Sorry about your brother, slim.”. That still doesn’t mean he’s good at rapping though. That’s what Duc needs to know. From what he can tell from his personality he is somewhat introverted, not saying much when a lot of people are around and only really talking to Duc about an opportunity. Duc wonders how he can engage a crowd if he isn’t a people person.

As they listen to the performances at the open mic night, he gets a thought and asks Quad to rap for him. Quad nervously responds thinking that he is telling him to just say a rap right there on the spot. Duc clarifies. He tells him to go sign up on the open performance list and recite one of his raps. Quad goes into a stammer as his nerves get the best of him. He isn’t prepared and he doesn’t know how to tell Duc. His fidgeting and stumbling over his words let him know. Duc stops him. “You not ready?”

Quad gets a sad look of disappointment on his face. “Umm, I…I wasn’t expecting that tonight.” He gets quiet as he tries to think of what more to say. Duc thinks a rapper who isn’t ready to rap is probably a red flag and he may not have made a mistake by not contacting him. Then Quad abruptly says, “But can I come back in a couple of weeks when I’m ready?”

“Aye, it’s an open mic. You can come back as much as you want. You just gotta sign up.”

Quad can tell that Duc’s tone changes. It’s best to back off for now. He isn’t ready to give up yet, but he leaves for the night.

Just as the rest of summer has, the month of August passes quickly. The fellas do all they can to get the last of the partying and running around out of their systems before they have to buckle down and focus on school once again. One major thing they make sure to do before the summer ends is talk to the leasing office about moving from a two bedroom to a three bedroom. Mike realizes that, with his savings and his mother letting him know her financial situation has improved, he will be able to split the rent three ways with Duc and Jairus as long as he keeps working during his senior year. He is jumping at the chance to move out of his mother’s house again and get his independence back. Jairus and Duc couldn’t be happier about it. It feels like they will be living together in the dorm again, just better. The move will have to wait until next month since the August rent has already been paid and a new lease will have to be signed. As the start of the semester approaches, they prepared for school and to move.

It isn’t all good news for everyone. Jairus realizes that with him having to retake a class from the previous year and the course schedule changing for this school year it will be very unlikely that he can get all his classes done by May unless something changes unexpectedly. He is very disappointed by the news, wondering what else can happen to him this year. He gets a feeling of failure at the thought of not graduating in four years. Plus, he isn’t trying to keep taking on student loans he’s been told will take him half his life to pay off. Every time he begins to dwell on the things that don’t seem to be going well in his life, he hears his mother’s voice in his mind telling him to find a church or to pray about things. He really begins to give some thought to her advice to find a church in Atlanta. There are a couple of churches near campus that a lot of college kids attend. Those are the first ones that come to mind, one being much larger than the other. But that’s a decision he contemplates for a while as he faces all the issues that weigh on him.

The summer finally comes to an end with the guys being ready for class to start and relaxing during that last weekend beforehand. Duc even decided not to go into Jazzy Belles during the Sunday brunch since it pretty much runs itself now. He makes sure his DJ shows up and then he is done with work for the day. Chris comes over and the guys sit around joking, laughing, playing video games and cards, and reminiscing about the past three school years. Eventually they all get hungry and decide to head over near campus and go to the popular soul food spot for the closest thing they could get to some home cooking. Chris is planning to leave and go home from the restaurant, so he drives himself even though they are all going to the same place. Mike drives the rest of them because he is tired of hearing Jairus talk about not putting too many miles on his new Camry like it’s some precious jewel he can’t touch without messing up its shine. They arrive at the restaurant and just like most times they have gone there the parking lot is nearly full, which means it is packed inside. They expected as much with most of the students back with class starting that Tuesday.

The guys stand outside in the parking lot while Duc goes inside to put their name on the list. However, when he comes back, he has a totally different energy and his enthusiasm about eating there has changed to him suggesting going somewhere else. “Young, this shit ain’t worth it. Let’s hit another spot. I’m not waiting that long.” They all look at him like he’s crazy and start disputing the worth of the restaurant arguing to stay.

“Dog, we knew it was going to be a wait. Stop playing!” Jairus says.

“Yeah. I need them yams and mac ‘n cheese in my life, boy,” Mike says.

Duc then gives Jairus a look that lets him know something is up just as Mike looks away. It confuses Jairus more than anything and Duc can tell. “Well I didn’t put our name on the list so Jairus can go back and do it.” Chris quietly observes everything that Mike just missed and watches as Jairus walks into the restaurant with no push back after Duc basically orders him to do so. Moments later Jairus comes back out and is now in agreement with Duc’s idea to leave. “Aye, Duc is right. Let’s roll.”

Mike still isn’t convinced. He’s been anticipating this food since they first brought up the idea of going back a few weeks prior. It isn’t going to be easy to change his mind at this point and he is beginning to realize something is up with them once Chris no longer seems to want the cornbread he had been talking about. “Yo, what the fuck is up? Y’all tripping.”

Jairus breathes out a sigh and slowly says, “Young, Shante is in there.” Mike goes silent for a few seconds. He hasn’t seen Shante since the last time he came to this restaurant. When he realized his hope for something real between them wasn’t in the cards. He thinks about the last time he saw her but doesn’t let himself get mad. “Man, I’m straight. Our mothers are best friends. It’s not like I’m never going to see her again. No way I can avoid it. Let’s just eat.”

Even though Mike seems fine, Jairus and Duc still seem reluctant to eat at the restaurant trying to convince him they can come back another time. And then, like it’s on schedule, Shante makes her exit from the restaurant. Mike can hear her laugh coming through the door before he actually sees her and looks directly in her direction to see her exiting the restaurant giggling at a joke from a male companion. He’s shocked to see her but he’s even more hurt to see her with another guy. The two of them walk in the opposite direction of where Mike and the guys are parked so she doesn’t see them. But they know the dude she’s with. He’s one of Ovaughn’s teammates from the basketball team. One of the really tall ones. As he watches them walk to the car Mike is sizing up everything different about the guy than him and ignoring his friends trying to distract him. It isn’t until they get to their car, each standing at their respective doors, that Shante sees Mike in the distance across the parking lot. He sees her look past her friend to see him as her mouth opens in surprise. She then silently mouths “Mike” but doesn’t attempt to speak or address them. She and Mike catch eyes for a moment and then she gets in the car, and they drive off.

Jairus and Duc weren’t trying to stop him from seeing her. They were trying to stop him from seeing her with someone else. And they are right because now Mike’s entire tone changes. “Maybe y’all right. I don’t even feel like eating anymore.”

Now they are all trying to convince him to stay and eat. The last thing he needs is to go somewhere and wallow in his grief over another girl. But their pleas to urge him to stay fall short and he asks Chris, “Aye, can you give them a ride back to the apartment? I think I’m going to head home.” Chris, not aware of everything, picks up on the clues and understands what just happened. “You sure? I mean, I got you, but you should get that food you wanted.”

“I’ll holla at y'all later,” he says as he turns away and gets into his car. Chris, Duc, and Jairus stand there and watch him drive off. They feel bad for him. All but Chris being able to personally empathize with him at that moment. They stand there silently until Chris breaks the silence saying. “We’re really going to have to get that nigga some yams and mac ‘n cheese to go now.” The tension is broken as Duc and Jairus burst into laughter. They briefly discuss whether to still get something to eat and decide to go inside. And Chris buys some food to go for Mike before they leave.

They leave the restaurant with Chris parting ways with Jairus and Duc. The fellas head back to the apartment and get back to playing video games but now the mood of the day has completely changed. They are thinking about their friend and in turn thinking about some of their own bad situations with women. As the afternoon turns into the evening, they discuss what to do on their final day of freedom on Monday and how to take Mike’s mind off things and then they both withdraw to their respective rooms. Duc starts to go over his promotion and Chaotic Harmony responsibilities for the week trying to make sure he doesn’t let anything slip through the cracks since he knows he will be very busy with school starting. Jairus starts to make phone calls to his family back in D.C.

One of the last phone calls he makes is to his mother. The energy from Mike’s experience still has him a bit down and he hopes she can help him feel better. And he always checks in with his mother on Sundays. They discuss what’s been going on with each other that week and his mother tells him about how good her Sunday service was at church that morning. Her energy, as she talks about church, makes him feel so much better than he had prior to calling and what she describes from the sermon felt like it was fitting for him at the time. “Ma, I think I know what church I’m going to try out. I’m going to try the big Baptist church near campus. A lot of students go there, and the pastor is pretty young.” His mother is very excited to hear this news from her son. She gets a bit carried away talking about him meeting new people, getting into service, and taking his friends to church with him. She just wants the best for her son and for her salvation is at the top of that list. He grew up in church so it’s no surprise for him. He knows who his mother is. But what he still doesn’t know is who his father is, and it’s been in the back of his mind all summer. He doesn’t know why this conversation made him think of it, maybe it is the added emotion of the day, or maybe he knows that’s another thing his mother wants him to address along with church. But he even surprises himself and says, “Ma, do you remember what we talked about the last time I was home?” Bernice, not wanting to push, calmly responds, “Yes.” Jairus pauses as he has a second thought then says, “Can you give me his number?”

19

“What the Hell Did I Miss”

A couple of weeks into the semester being back in the school routine is beginning to feel regular again. The biggest and best adjustment is they all now live in the apartment together. They realize that even though they are happy to always have someone to hang with in the evening they have some very different living habits that they weren’t aware of. The one that stands out the most for Duc and Mike is that Jairus is a neat freak. He is constantly getting on them to clean their stuff. They start jokingly calling him “the den mother” to annoy him back when he bugs them about cleaning up. Mike and Duc lived together for two years so they already have a pretty good understanding of each other but what surprises Jairus most about Mike is just how diligent he is with his schoolwork. He is quickly learning just why Mike has nearly maintained a 4.0 grade point average the entire time in college. He carves out time for some form of studying or homework literally every day if possible and he is demanding about the noise levels and interruptions being at a minimum. Duc shrugs it off because he already knows but Jairus wonders when he actually finds time to sleep, go to work, do schoolwork, and spend so much time hanging out with them. On the other hand, Mike prepares Jairus to deal with Duc’s constant randomness. Jairus didn’t notice it before because he was camping on his couch and felt like he was imposing a bit but now that he feels at home it really stands out how Duc will just pop up with random thoughts and ideas on an almost daily basis, expecting them to follow along. Mike says it’s because Duc always has a million things running through his mind at once. He calls him an ‘ingenious idiot’. He’s always processing stuff but can never stay focused enough to show you how smart he really is.

Duc, officially having roommates again after a year of living alone, tries his best to let his friends' good habits rub off on him. He rededicates himself back to doing good in school now realizing he is a year or more behind as they all deal with the fact that this is the last year for Mike. He is coming to grips with the fact that Mike will graduate and then Jairus probably not long after and they can both realistically leave Atlanta, and he will be there with none of his close friends. The person who will be there is Anthony. He’s beginning to become a regular fixture with the guys lately. Especially on the weekends when they aren’t caught up with school even though he has no issue popping up during the week from time to time. He’s 23 in a new city so of course he wants to be around the few people he knows. Duc enjoys hanging with him even a little more than Mike does at times. He’s used to the fast life of New Orleans and that fits perfectly with Duc, who is also working as hard as ever on his management and promotion stuff as well. He is putting a lot on his plate and pushing to reach his goals through classroom and practical lessons.

Jazzy Belle's new expansion and continued growth is keeping both Duc and Mike busy. Mike’s tips are getting so good that Jairus considers trying to get a job there as well. He thinks about trying to be a bartender but then decides it is enough for them all to live together. Working together may be too much for him. But now that he has his car, he has to start looking somewhere to bring in money just to avoid blowing all his savings from the summer internship on gas and car insurance. He finds himself job hunting on the weekends since school started. This week he’s looking into a rumor he hears about jobs with the airlines. He heard that the airline call centers pay well and are always looking for college students to work evenings part-time when the first shift folks are done for the day. Plus, they are closed on the weekends so he will have his free time. He is happy to see that most of them are located in the same general area—a large business park with a lot of business buildings that have nothing but the address numbers out front. That is until he walks inside and sees all the company signage for each respective airline. After going into the first couple, he finds the rumors to be true and they have him filling out applications on the spot. He is happy to see that all of them are paying between $9 and $10 per hour. It is a lot better than the mall jobs he’s tried and the uncertainty of working for tips as a waiter or bartender. The largest of the airline companies brings him into the office to talk to him once he completes his application. As he walks through the office floor, he can’t help but notice there are a few faces that seem familiar, even recognizable. He is sure they are from his school and gets it set in his mind that they’re the one he wants to work for.

That same weekend Jairus finally decides to keep his word to his mother and go to church. He has been telling himself he should go every weekend since school started but always finds a reason not to go. But after filling out the job applications on Friday he figures he can use every advantage possible, and that includes God’s favor. He tries to convince his friends to go to church with him all day Saturday with no luck. Mike, whose family already has a home church in Atlanta, is working brunch at Jazzy Belles that Sunday so he can’t make it. Duc has no true reason he can’t go, he just doesn’t want to, so he makes up the excuse of needing to do something for Angie to promote. Jairus even asks Chris, who simply laughs at the idea even though he never tells him no. Even though he tries to avoid it he will have to go at it alone, he gets to the church that morning and just as he expects it is filled with students from his school and every school on the AUC. He sits towards the back of the church and just observes everything going on, even more than he pays attention to the sermon. He hasn’t been in church for so long, it feels foreign, and he is apprehensive about engaging and getting the attention of the members of the church on his first visit. The one thing he does notice is how many more women are at church than men. It is something he knows might help him to convince his friends to come along next time.

Later that afternoon Jairus can’t wait to tell his friends all about what he noticed at church. Although Jairus is single and focusing on finishing school it is always intriguing to get the attention of women. He is hoping it will be enough to inspire them to come along next time even though they are all basically in the same place when it comes to relationships and women. None of them is interested. Not long after he is back home from church both Mike and Duc come in from working the brunch at Jazzy Belles. Jairus starts trying to tell them about the church, but they are more interested in getting something to eat than listening to him sell them on the church. Jairus’ urge to find a companion to accompany him to church is not going to be something he finds an easy fix for. They aren’t going to be motivated by what’s driving him. They didn’t make that promise to their mothers and they aren’t looking for anyone to help them be accountable.

As the topic moves to them getting something to eat both Jairus and Duc want to go somewhere they can sit down and have a good meal. Mike isn’t trying to waste that much time. He has studying to do and is making a routine of going by his mother’s house Sunday evenings to see his family. After they leave to go to a restaurant, he runs over to grab some fast food and then comes back and gets right to studying. It was perfect for him. The apartment was silent so his focus wouldn’t be interrupted by talking or the television in the background. For almost an hour he was locked into his studies until his cell phone rang. He isn’t expecting anyone to call so he is surprised. Even more so when he sees an area code that he’s never seen before. He apprehensively answers the phone speaking slowly and quietly as if he is not trying to let them know who he is and simply says, “Hello.”

In response he hears a female voice on the other side that sounds just as shaky as he does. “Ummm…can I please speak to Mike Haskins?”

Still trying to figure out who’s voice this is in his head, he now replies clearly, “This is Mike.” She must have been just as unsure about having the right number as him because now he can hear the excitement in her voice as she clearly says ,“Mike! It’s Cecilia.”

“SILLY!” he exclaims once he realizes who she is. Mike and Cecilia haven’t spoken to each other since the end of their internship over a year ago. Neither of them owned a cell phone at the time so they didn’t have phone numbers to exchange since they weren’t giving out their parents' home numbers. But Cecilia kept in contact with Maria who kept in touch with almost everyone and spoke to James, from Norfolk, Virginia,, pretty often. James spoke to Anthony, who is letting everyone know about Ovaughn if he talks to them because they all hung out with him when he came to visit Mike that summer. Once she heard the news, Cecilia worked back to get Mike’s cell phone number through those same communications. She couldn’t sit on that knowledge and not reach out to him.