That Sunday at church he finally sees her for the first time, a week after returning from his Thanksgiving trip. To his surprise she walks up to him with another guy who he recognizes from the church. She seems excited to introduce the two of them and he learns his name is Rodney. He is in shock but tries his best to just act normal as he gets acquainted with him before the service starts and they take their seats. Once service is over, they all walk outside, and Angel says her goodbyes to Rodney who has to get going. She gives him a long hug goodbye that is not one of those church hugs and Jairus takes notice.
Once Rodney leaves, Angel immediately asks Jairus what he thinks of him. She doesn’t expect the side eye look she receives in return. She responds saying “What?” as she tries to hold back a grin. Jairus, now sure Rodney is a love interest by her smile, tries to act like a protective friend instead of a jealous crush.
“I hit you up a couple of times this week. You can’t hit me back now? And where this dude come from?”
“I know I never called back but you know how it is when you first start talking to someone new on the phone.”
“What happened to not worrying about no guy? Focusing on school and God.”
“I am…and so is he. So, I found someone I can do it with.” She is grinning from ear to ear as they talk, and she thinks about Rodney. Jairus can see and hear it in every response.
He is getting closer and closer to crossing the friendship line. “Didn’t you tell me I need to be focusing on school and God, too? I thought you were in this with me.”
He doesn’t know how to react when Angel responds, “Yeah, but you need to be single. I don’t.”
Jairus stops just in front of her car after the comment and looks at her with a look of confusion. “What does that mean?”
She looks shocked he asked that and looks around at all the church people still in the parking lot before pointing for him to get into the car. Wanting his answer, he gets into the car so they can talk. “Why do I need to be single?” She isn’t trying to offend him and realizes he is defensive, so she begins to try to be more careful with her words.
“So, we talked about some of our past relationships in detail. And you confided in me with some personal stuff that I know you haven’t told a lot of people. I’m not trying to throw something in your face. I was just messing with you like you would do with a friend. I didn’t think it would bother you. My bad.”
“But why do you think I need to be single though?” He is now more genuinely asking than being defensive.
“I mean I thought you said that. We talked about what you went through with your ex and the one before her. And then your friend you lost. That was a lot. I thought you said it was probably best for you to be single for a while. It’s only been seven months. I would still need to do some healing from all that. You don’t think so?”
Jairus pauses for a second now wondering if this is why she doesn’t view him as anything more than a friend. Did he put himself in the friendship zone by being too much of a friend? He gives her words some thought. “So, am I supposed to sit around by myself forever? Seven months is a long time.”
She answers his rhetorical question as if she has been thinking about it all week. “It’s not really that long when you still have stuff going on. You just spoke to your father for the first time in life. That alone would be a lot for anyone to handle. Why would you try to start an emotional relationship during that? You’ll just end up codependent. You already have that tendency.” Angel is a year younger than Jairus but always seems to be more emotionally mature and self-aware. He respects that about her, so he tries not to get offended by the conversation and tries to understand what she may say from her perspective.
“How do I have a tendency for codependence?”
Angel takes a deep breath, and he can tell she is looking for the right way to tell him something. “Jairus, have you ever had a girlfriend that you weren’t in love with?”
It doesn’t take him long to respond with a “No.”
“So, no matter who you date they have all been worth falling in love with…Or do you think you could have just been longing for that attachment? Do you truly believe they were all in love with you?”
He goes silent as he thinks about what her words really mean. Not wanting to make him feel bad, she breaks the silence. “I really think as you build a relationship with your father it will be the best thing for you in everything. I know one doesn’t seem like it affects the other but sometimes it does.”
The conversation is eye opening for Jairus and really makes him question a lot of things. Finals week starts at school and Jairus is very contemplative all week as he should be focused on his exams. That Tuesday night he finds himself at the Open Mic sitting at Duc’s table throwing back drinks since he doesn’t have a Wednesday exam. They talk about a lot of recent happenings. Jairus has no idea that Quad has almost worked his way into being the permanent host of Open Mic night and is impressed with how comfortable he is. Duc is shocked to hear that Jairus actually considered trying to date Angel after all the push back on their jokes. He understands the disappointment his friend is feeling so he suggests dealing with it the best way Duc knows how: partying. And they are now less than a week from Samantha’s graduation party at the hotel downtown. He is pushing even more for Jairus to get a room and make an event of it just like him. Jairus still isn’t as into it as Duc, but he definitely plans to use the party as a chance to cut loose after final exams.
Finals week finishes and campus is buzzing about graduation. Duc and Mike attend the fall commencement because they know a couple of people who are graduating. Some Atlanta natives he knows from high school for Mike. Mostly women for Duc. Once the commencement is over, Duc goes into full preparation mode for the party that evening even though it’s still hours away. They go home and he talks about the timetable for the entire ride. They all go get something to eat and it’s all he talks about. He starts to pick out clothes and gets on Mike and Jairus about wearing the right outfits. They think he’s overly hype but he’s really masking some of the nerves he has about possibly seeing Samantha for the last time. He met with Malik and Samantha that previous weekend and they had a long talk about the fact that Samantha is going to be relocating back to Florida after she graduates. It was disappointing news for Duc that caught him off guard. It was also very bittersweet. Since Samantha is leaving it would mean Malik would now need Duc to be his right-hand man with promoting. He will be picking up some of the club work Samantha handles for Malik, which is more money, and in turn Malik is giving him back 100 percent of Jazzy Belles promotion to do more of his own thing, too. Malik even tells him he can start working with him in the strip clubs if he wants. The bitter part is that it’s a goodbye to Samantha. He let go of the hope of dating her, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t still like her. So, he’s going to make his last time hanging out with her one to remember.
That evening Duc, Jairus, Mike and Chris pregame a little with some vodka shots and then head out to the party. They take two separate cars because Chris has no intention of staying at the hotel. When they arrive, it is evident from the parking lot that Samantha really did go all out for the party. There’s a huge spotlight on the entrance, a red carpet, and a step-and-repeat for guests to take pictures just inside the doors. They arrive after 10 o’clock but Duc is still in a rush even though the party doesn’t end until 3:00 A.M. He wants as much time at the party as possible without getting there ridiculously early. The fellas go into the party and it’s already starting to get packed with people on the dance floor and sitting at the open tables. They grab an open table and Duc immediately runs to the hotel lobby to get his room keys while he still remembers.
When he returns, he’s happy to see a lot of Kennedy’s friends around the table with Chris and Jairus but thinks it’s weird that Kennedy and Mike seem to be off to the side having their own separate conversation. Mike has always been closer to Kennedy than anyone else, so he just chalks it up to that. They try to grab another table next to where they are already sitting but there aren’t enough open seats with the party starting to get packed, so the fellas give up their seats to the ladies. They figure if nothing else it will mean they will have someone to dance with all night. One of the girls who is more familiar with the guys, Tasha, makes a point to sit near Jairus and try to start a conversation with him. He doesn’t think anything of it, but Chris and Duc notice the extra attention she seems to be giving him. It isn’t long before Duc’s attention is taken when he finally sees Samantha walking through the party towards the bar. He quickly hops up and makes his way over to the bar, sneaking up to her so she doesn’t see him approach. “Excuse me but can I buy you a drink?”
She recognizes the voice and turns to greet him with a smile. “Well, all the drinks are free for the guest of honor so maybe you need to let me buy you one.” They laugh at it, and she tells him to go ahead and get a drink while he’s there. She also asks him where he and his friends are, and he points out their tables. She sees the fellas and Kennedy with the group of girls and tells Duc she is going to come by in a minute so they can do shots. When she finally makes it over, she greets all the guys and gives Kennedy a huge hug. They haven’t seen each other in a while but ever since the night in the hospital they consider each other friends.
Duc is surprised Samantha seems so willing to make time for him and his friends with so many of her college friends and associates present. He’s even more surprised at her generosity with the drinks. It makes him feel good to not be an afterthought for Samantha. Throughout the night she makes a point to continually stop by either for shots, checking on the group, or just pulling Duc away to go dance or tell a work story to her friends. Duc is getting all the attention he wants from Samantha in the midst of her own party, and it is one hell of a party. The DJ is great. The atmosphere is good. The crowd is partying. It’s the type of party they always hope for when promoting and all of the fellas love it. Chris is constantly disappearing into the crowd and mingling with the coeds from the other colleges. Mike and Jairus are outnumbered by the friends that Kennedy brought along and are trying their best to entertain the ladies. Jairus is getting so much attention from Tasha even Kennedy starts to joke with him about it. “Jairus, you better be careful around Tasha. You might not be safe tonight. She has always talked about how cute you are. Even back when you weren’t so available.”
Jairus is still in his feelings about the disappointment with Angel so he more than welcomes the attention. The more he drinks as the party goes on the more accepting he becomes. They laugh and joke for a while and end up on the dance floor with each other for a long time. Mike is having just as much fun; he's just not focused on anyone in particular. Almost as if avoiding showing anyone too much attention but trying to leave an impression on everyone. Chris tells him he’s with a different one of the girls every time he comes back and jokingly says, “I didn’t know you had it in you, playa.” Mike laughs at him but shakes his head to brush off the idea he is trying to play the field. He’s just having a good time. Duc is having a great time as well and as the night gets later and they get more intoxicated he finds Samantha spending more time with him on the dance floor. She is dancing a lot closer to him than he would have expected. He is buzzing but he is not missing the signals she is throwing his way.
As the two of them grind on each other, Samantha leans over and asks, “What are y’all doing when the party's over?”
“I got a room. So, we’re probably going upstairs for the afterparty.”
“You didn’t need to get a room. I already have one.”
Duc isn’t exactly sure what she means so he turns his head towards her face and gives her a raised eyebrow look hoping she’ll say something more to confirm what he is thinking. She then says
“You might as well give the room keys to one of them.”
Duc knows exactly what she is saying now, and his eyes get big just as she leans in and gives him a kiss. He starts looking around to see if any of his friends are nearby to pass the keys too. He sees Jairus but is floored when he finds him making out with Tasha in the middle of the dance floor and even points it out to Samantha. “Am I tripping or is that Jairus tonguin’ Tasha down on the dancefloor?” Duc makes his way over to the table to give Mike the keys and make sure he sees Jairus and Tasha, as well. Duc has other things to worry about now but he can’t be the only one to see this so they will believe him when he brings it up. Kennedy is also a witness and just as shocked. She laughs while shaking her head.
Samantha walks away and goes over to her groups of friends to say some goodbyes. After about 20 minutes she pops back over at the group's table, grabs Duc’s hand, and says, “Are you ready?”
Duc says good night to his friends as they stare at him in awe, and then he and Samantha disappear through the crowd into the hotel. Samantha has always known Duc isn’t real relationship material for her, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like him. Since this might be the last night she sees him before heading back to Florida, she decides to do something she’s wanted to do for a long time. She isn’t leaving without at least one night with him and she knows he wants it just as badly as she does. They go up to the hotel room for the night, but they don’t do much sleeping at all.
The rest of the group eventually goes up to the room Duc rented for the night. Most of them are too drunk to try and make it home at such a late hour. They are happy to have somewhere to crash even if it is going to be crowded. Kennedy and one carload of her friends also stay behind with the guys, opting to avoid driving drunk. Of course, that includes Tasha, who is drunk and happy to stay behind with Jairus, just as drunk. They all get up to the room, turn on some music and open yet another bottle of liquor they brought with them, planning to keep the party going. Jairus sits in a big chair in the corner and Tasha immediately hops on his lap. Everyone else gets in where they fit, either sitting on the floor or the edge of a bed as more drinks begin to pour.
They begin to talk and laugh and turn the music up when they get a song they love. Tasha and Jairus seem to get more into each other as they drink but refrain from making out in front of everyone in the room. But the festivities are eventually cut short because, as they commonly do when people drink too much, someone gets sick. Tasha let go of her inhibitions because she drank so much but it catches up to her and she suddenly hops up and runs to the bathroom to throw up. She shocks everyone in the room and Kennedy and her other friends go from enjoying themselves to becoming caregivers in an instant. It sobers up everyone except for Tasha, who eventually passes out on the floor in her homegirl’s lap after throwing up for over 15 minutes. That kills the vibe of the night but makes for damn sure that it is a night that nobody will forget.
21
“Been Looking For Something To Fill The Void”
