We collapse onto the bed in a tangle of limbs and heavy breathing. My heart is pounding in my chest as I press a kiss to Amelia's forehead. I remember what it was like when we were young but this, just now, was ten thousand times better.

"Ben?" Amelia's voice echoes through the dark room. She’s curled up in my arms. I'm a little sad because her scent is covered by the smell of my shower gel. After we caught our breath I took her to the bathroom for a rinse down. She blushed beetroot red when I pulled the butt plug from her bum. I couldn't hold back a chuckle. She is adorable when she turns from sexy little kitten into shy cat lady, and I'm not sure which of the two sides of the coin I adore more.

"Yes, darling?" I place a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"Thank you." She snuggles deeper into my embrace.

"What for?"

"For making me feel special." My heart breaks a little. What I want to say is "I love you." But I also know, if I say it now, she'll think I'm only saying it because of what she told me earlier. She won't believe me, and I don't think I can cope with her thinking I’m lying if I tell her the one thing that is truer to me than anything else.

"Any time." This is a truth I can share at least.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Her fingers are gently stroking over the arm I have draped over her side.

"Ha, darling, do you think this wasn't also amazing for me?" I chuckle.

"Maybe, but I still want to do something you want to do. Tell me!" Amelia turns in my arms so she can look up at me.

"Go on a date with me."

"What?" she whispers barely audible.

"Let me take you on a real date, Amelia. That's what I want more than anything else." I hold her gaze and my heart hammers like crazy.

"And then?"

"If we have fun on the date, maybe let me take you out on another one." I cup her face. "You are an amazing woman and I’d like to give this another try. I know I hurt you back then. I fucking hurt you and I will try to make it up to you every day. I am no longer the boy I was twenty years ago; I know what I want from life and you are what I want the most." I love you. I want to add these three words so badly, but not yet. She’s not ready.

There is a tiny frown on her face and I get ready for her to turn me down.

"I can agree to the date. I can't promise anything more at this point." The fear in her voice confirms what I assumed. She still doesn't trust me fully and I get it.

I press my lips to hers and pull her into a passionate kiss. My tongue slides alongside hers before licking the corners of her mouth. My lips brush over hers and nip and lick like this is the last chance I’ll ever get to kiss her.

Amelia's breathing is steady. Her hand holds onto the arm I’ve draped over her. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, but given that she had two mind-blowing orgasms it’s not surprising.

A gentle scraping on the door breaks the silence in the room. Amelia reacts to the noise and curls up further but she doesn't wake up. I carefully slide out from under the duvet before tucking her back in. I grab my boxers from the floor and slip them and open the door.

"What do you want, Furball?" I whisper at the dark shadow in the corridor. He gives me a pitiful meow before sprinting a few steps towards the stairs. When he notices I'm not following he looks back and meows again.

I sigh, " Fine, lead the way cat."

I gently close the bedroom door and follow him through the dark house to the kitchen. He blinks at me when I switch on the light.

"Right, what would you like today? We have…", I reach for the first tin, "…Sauce Lover with Salmon or Beef in Gravy." Fuck, they actually sound delicious. Furball makes it clear he couldn't care less which one, he just wants it now. He weaves in and out between my legs and keeps licking me.

"Hey, stop that otherwise I’ll tell Amelia that you made me feed you when it wasn’t really time," I gently try to push him away with my foot but he takes it as an invitation to nibble my toes. I rush to scoop his food onto a plate and place it on the plastic mat next to the kitchen counter. He storms to it and swallows the first piece before he’s even come to a full stop.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, I watch the black furball devour his food.

I love Amelia; I’m not sure if I ever stopped, but the love is definitely back. And stronger than ever. I just hope I don’t mess it up again.

20

Mamma Mia

Amelia

A wall of noise greets me when I step into the coffee shop. Ooooh that's new. I haven’t been here in a while (due to mission “avoid the Whitcombs,” because this coffee shop is close to Ben and Fi's houses). They’ve clearly invested in some renovations since my last visit, and with their comfy sofa groups and trendy art on the wall they look more like a Shoreditch artisan coffee shop than the old, dated village caff I remember.

I join the queue whilst eyeing the different tables. The free one in the far corner is my target, and I pray nobody ahead of me snatches it up. I hate sitting in the centre of a room and given that that's where most tables are free I assume I’m not the only one.

The woman in front of me turns, clearly also trying to spot the best seat, and I notice the subtle logo on the T-shirt. Purr Inn. Right underneath is a name badge pinned to the material. It reads Bri—

"Oh my god, you’re Bridget!" I exclaim. She studies me for a moment.

"Sorry, have we met before?" She sounds confused, and rightly so.

"No, yes, I called your cattery a few weeks back looking for emergency accommodation for my cat. I'm Amelia." I hold out my hand. She shakes it with a big grin on her face.

"Oh, I remember. Smutty, right?" I nod enthusiastically. "Did you find somewhere for him to stay?"

"Yes, a... friend took him. Sorry, I couldn't really afford your space."

"Don’t worry," she waves me off, "I only work there. I’ve told the owner we are too expensive but she insists the rich twats in this area can afford it." I like her!

"Next!" The barista is impatiently waving Bridget forward.

After she’s placed her order I pay for my latte and croissant.

"So, do you live here?" I ask as I join Bridget at the other end of the counter where our coffees are being prepared. I'm not sure what’s come over me. I don’t tend to chat with strangers but I feel a connection with her.

"I do. I moved here a little less than a year ago after my divorce," she says, shaking the little sugar sachet in her hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"I'm not. It wasn't a happy marriage in the end," she shrugs, but even though she’s making light of the situation there’s something in her eyes that tells me it wasn't quite as painless as she’s making out.

"Me and my husband… ex-husband... lived in the same village in Hampshire since we started dating twenty-four years ago, so I thought I needed a change when it was all over. An aunt of mine lives in a nursing home close to here so I knew the village and always liked it... I'm sorry, verbal diarrhoea alert," she says embarrassed. "Outside of work I don't really know many people here yet."

She takes her coffee from the barista.

"Do you want to join me and my friends... who are late as usual," I grin. "We all grew up here, but I'm the only one left living in Hadlow."

"I don't want to intrude."

"Not at all," I assure her just as my coffee is placed on the counter.