Beauty is skin deep, but for Black women, not being able to celebrate our beauty in its full richness can lead to what I describe as “unsealed trauma”—the unresolved emotional wounds that we carry with us. So when I look in the mirror, I’ve started taking my time to study the curves in my lips and nose. I take the time to acknowledge each part of my face. I note the parts of my face that remind me of my father and the ones that look like my mother. Rather than ruminating about how self-conscious I was about my Black features and natural hair growing up, I take the time to think about how beautifully and wonderfully made I truly am. Everything about me is amazing, and that includes the beauty of my face and full body that radiates from inside.
Celebrating our beauty and creating our own narratives about what that looks like is empowering. It involves understanding how much our confidence and self-esteem as humans rest on how we are perceived and accepted. Yet, as Black women, we face the unique challenge of navigating a world that doesn’t necessarily do that.
On the flip side, we are free to uplift each other and ourselves. A casual compliment to a stranger, a “Hey, girl! I love those shoes!” can brighten both her day and ours. I’ve done it on several occasions and felt the joy when she returns a smiling “Thank you!” It’s in these moments that we seize our own narratives of beauty and validation.
Being able to accept compliments is also part of this process. It’s a small but significant step in reframing what it means to be beautiful as we walk in society. This reframing is a constant process, a constant assertion that everything about us—from the top of our heads to the soles of our feet—is beautiful without exception.
I still remember being in high school and reading and reciting Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman.” The lines, “I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size… Phenomenal woman, that’s me,” resonate with me even today. The feeling that surges through me when I see another girl who looks like me reciting these lines is transcendent.
I recited this poem, affirming myself in the mirror, and I came to realize the peace that stems from self-acceptance and love. Celebrating my beauty—my fluffy afro, full lips, hips, and nose—became a cherished ritual. It’s a practice that has helped me in my journey toward self-acceptance. I am loving myself, and I am giving myself permission to look in the mirror and admire everything I see. A part of this journey to self-acceptance has been uncovering my feelings about myself, not only in my physical form but also in my thoughts and feelings. Unpacking all of these emotions has been instrumental in helping to heal the little girl inside who never had a Black baby doll and, quite frankly, doesn’t need one to validate my beauty anymore, because the woman I see looking back at me in the mirror is more than enough!
Learning to love ourselves means that we understand just how much power can be ascribed to our beauty and femininity, which has been counter to the archetype of the strong, asexual Black woman. The Strong Black Woman, Jezebel, and Sapphire are simply archetypes. They are stereotypes used to disempower us, and we can acknowledge them without subscribing to them or acting them out based on society’s perception of what it means to be us. We determine that through our own agency. We are in control of our own personal stories, choices, and reactions to what we see around us. I choose the feminine divine because I am a queen. I am the beginning and the end. Once I’ve accepted that reality, there is no other that affects my existence.
Black women have been viewed as beautiful and a representation of womanhood throughout time. However, most of us are not aware of just how powerful the matriarchal role of Black women has always been. We are aware of how strong mothers and grandmothers were and are. But how much do we know about our ancestral mothers, and how much love, divine wisdom, and contentment flow from how secure they were in every way, and the legacy of well-being that we can draw just from our knowledge of their eternal presence? Part of that process involves focusing on harnessing the beautiful feminine divinity that is a central component of African culture across the diaspora. The love we find there is infinite if we’re open to how much peace it can provide.
journaling questions 
1.How have societal perceptions and media representation of Black women influenced your own self-image and understanding of beauty?
2.Can you recall specific moments when you felt challenged or empowered by prevailing beauty standards? How did these moments shape your relationship with your self-image?
3.How do you believe the historical oppression of Black women has affected the collective self-image of Black women today?
4.What strategies or approaches do you believe are most effective in combating the negative impact of historical and ongoing oppression on Black women’s self-worth and image?
5.How familiar are you with Afrocentric theory, and in what ways might it offer a healing or empowering perspective on self-image?
6.How have you personally experienced or observed colorism within your community, and what steps can be taken to counteract this form of prejudice?
7.How has your community influenced your understanding of beauty and self-worth, both positively and negatively?
8.Considering societal perceptions, media, and historical contexts, what messages would you want to impart to younger Black women to foster a positive self-image?
9.How can sharing personal narratives and stories among Black women help in reshaping the broader narrative around Black beauty and self-image?
10.How do you think intersecting identities, such as sexuality, class, or nationality, further influence the self-image of Black women in the face of societal perceptions and beauty standards?
affirmations 
1.I am more than society’s portrayal of me; I define my own beauty and worth.
2.Every facet of my being, from the tone of my skin to the texture of my hair, is a testament to a rich heritage and unique beauty.
3.I am the resilient descendant of strong Black women; their strength flows through me, and I carry their legacy with pride.
4.I am an agent of change, and with every step, I challenge the narratives that aim to diminish Black women.
5.By embracing my Afrocentric roots, I ground myself in a rich tapestry of history, culture, and wisdom.
6.I stand against colorism, recognizing the beauty in every shade of Black and advocating for unity in our diversity.
7.Regardless of societal standards, I see my worth, I embrace my beauty, and I celebrate my unique journey.
8.I am on a continual journey of self-love, healing from external judgments and internalized beliefs, and growing in my understanding of self-worth.
9.By sharing my story and listening to the stories of others, I find strength, solidarity, and pathways to collective healing.
10.I am a multifaceted masterpiece, encompassing the beauty, challenges, strengths, and histories of Black womanhood.
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