Consider for a moment a garden, abundant in diversity, flourishing with unique and exotic flowers. Black women are the rare orchids, the midnight roses, the vibrant hibiscus. Their physical beauty is like the mesmerizing colors and forms of these flowers, striking and varied. In a world often governed by a narrow definition of beauty, it is crucial that Black women celebrate their physical diversity, their unique patterns and shades. Embracing their physical beauty is not merely an act of vanity; it is a bold affirmation of their identity, a powerful assertion of their place in the world’s garden.
When Black women acknowledge their worth, they recognize the invaluable qualities they bring to society. Their strength, resilience, compassion, intelligence, creativity, and countless other attributes make them vital contributors to their communities and the world. By acknowledging their worth, they reject the marginalizing narratives and biases that seek to undermine them, empowering themselves and inspiring others.
Embracing physical beauty and acknowledging worth have far-reaching effects on Black women’s mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being. They combat the harmful effects of societal prejudice, racism, and sexism, reinforcing positive self-perception and fostering mental resilience. This process contributes to the holistic development of Black women, positively impacting their relationships, careers, and personal growth.
Beyond the individual, the acknowledgment of Black women’s beauty and worth is a collective necessity. It challenges and expands society’s rigid beauty norms, fostering greater acceptance and diversity. It raises the visibility of Black women in various societal spheres, promoting inclusivity and equality. It educates future generations, modeling for young Black girls that they are beautiful, they are valuable, and they have every right to fully occupy their space in the world.
Much like a river that knows its course, flowing unapologetically, carving its path, Black women who embrace their beauty and worth chart a powerful course for themselves. They become a beacon of strength, a testament to resilience, a celebration of diversity, and a symbol of pride. As they stand tall like the baobab tree in the African savannah, their roots deep, their branches spread wide, they proclaim to the world their innate beauty, their inherent worth.
In the vivid mosaic of humanity, when Black women embrace their physical beauty and acknowledge their worth, the design becomes richer, the colors deeper, and the patterns more intricate. They weave their vibrant threads into the fabric of society, creating a more inclusive, equitable, and beautiful world. It is a world that celebrates the unique beauty and extraordinary worth of every individual, a world where the tapestry of humanity is indeed grand, and the garden of life is genuinely diverse and vibrant.
journaling questions 
1.How do you perceive the interconnectedness of your physical and mental health, and how do you prioritize each in your daily routines?
2.In moments of introspection, how do you balance your self-worth with your professional achievements? What steps can you take to ensure you prioritize your well-being above accolades?
3.How do you currently allocate time for personal rest and rejuvenation? Are there moments when you feel guilty for taking this time, and how can you transform this guilt into affirmation?
4.Reflect on a time when you felt on the brink of burnout. What boundaries could have been set to prevent reaching that point, and how can you implement them moving forward?
5.How has prioritizing self-care benefited your ability to handle external responsibilities? Are there areas of self-care you’ve overlooked that could further enhance your capacity to manage obligations?
6.How do you currently celebrate your physical beauty? Are there societal narratives or personal beliefs that sometimes challenge this celebration, and how can you work to transform or reject them?
7.How do you affirm your inherent worth, separate from any external factors or achievements? What practices or rituals help reinforce this acknowledgment?
8.How do you navigate the tightrope of ambition and self-care? Are there any compromises you’ve made that you regret, or any boundaries you’re proud of setting?
9.Reflect on the external pressures that might affect your perception of beauty, success, and worth. How can you work to internalize a self-affirming narrative instead?
10.How does your community or social circle support or challenge your self-care practices? Are there conversations you can initiate or boundaries you can set to enhance communal support for individual well-being?
affirmations 
1.My physical and mental well-being are paramount. I honor my body and mind, nourishing them with love and care.
2.While I am proud of my achievements, I prioritize my well-being above all. My worth is intrinsic and not solely defined by my professional successes.
3.I cherish and protect my personal time, knowing that rest and rejuvenation are essential for my holistic health.
4.I set firm boundaries to protect my energy and space, ensuring that I do not stretch myself to the point of burnout.
5.By caring for myself, I equip myself with the strength and resilience to handle my external responsibilities with grace.
6.I embrace and celebrate my unique physical beauty, understanding that I am a reflection of generations of strength and resilience.
7.I am worthy, valuable, and deserving of love, respect, and care, regardless of external validation.
8.Every moment I spend on self-care is an investment in my well-being and future. I am intentional with how I allocate my time.
9.Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. I give myself permission to pause and rejuvenate whenever I need to.
10.I celebrate every part of who I am—my strengths, vulnerabilities, achievements, and learnings. I am a holistic being deserving of holistic care.
chapter 6
the influence of
societal constructs
and personal
experiences on
perception of beauty
“You can’t eat beauty, it doesn’t feed you…beauty was not a thing that I could acquire or consume, it was something that I just had to be. You can’t rely on how you look to sustain yourself. What actually sustains us, what is fundamentally beautiful, is compassion—for yourself and for those around you. That kind of beauty inflames the heart and enchants the soul.”
—Lupita Nyong’o
Have you ever had a Black baby doll? Did you want one? Not me! As a child, I idolized Barbie’s perfectly laid blonde tendrils that flowed down to the middle of her back. In contrast to my daily life, there was one figure that seemed to have it all: Barbie. This blonde doll with her perfectly styled hair became my alter ego, embodying everything I longed for but couldn’t attain. My Jamaican parents didn’t believe in allowances in exchange for chores. Chores were the job of children to “earn their keep.” So, growing up in our small terrace house in southeast London, I didn’t have any illusions about being in the lap of luxury and living in a dream house with a pool, like Barbie did. My parents only bought dolls at Christmas. Barbie was always at the top of my list. The fact that I was so enamored by her even though she looked nothing like me was an inconvenience I had learned to overlook. None of my friends or cousins had Black baby dolls either, so I wasn’t alone.
The only semblance of what was supposed to be a Black baby doll I had ever seen for sale was called a golliwog. Golliwogs were sold in many convenience stores all across South London. And I hated them. They scared me with their black skin, huge white eyes, and clownlike, oversized red lips. My skin was a warm brown, my eyes a soft black, and my lips, while full, were not exaggerated like a clown’s. So, why was a toy that looked so dissimilar to me being sold as something I would enjoy? My five-year-old self was confused. I wondered where this doll had come from. Wherever it was from, I wished it would go back there, never to return. Its very existence repelled my tiny body, even though at the time I didn’t understand why.
