I try to focus the energy into a single direction, but it’s like trying to guide smoke with my hands. A lump rises in my throat and my heart is racing. It’s too much, it’s too big. I can’t control it. It’s like a living, breathing thing that’s slipped its chain and can’t be reeled back in.
The faint echo of my name reaches me. My eyes snap open. I’m engulfed in violet flames. Just like the times before. A tear slips free onto my cheek and evaporates on contact.
Oh gods…I’m going to burn him alive.
“Finn…” As the last thread of my control unravels, I close my eyes and whisper a last request. “Forgive me.”
TWENTY-THREEFINNIAN
Everything seemed normal—the air crackled and the power emanating from her was palpable, just like when Edevane was using the Mystic magic—until the violet flames of the Fire Fae suddenly engulfed her. I had to release her hands and take a step back to avoid getting burned, but I won't go any farther than that. I won't abandon her, regardless of the danger.
“Taryn!” It's the third time I've shouted her name and thank Rhiannon this time it gets through. Her eyes finally open. It takes a second for whatever trance she was in to clear. But then she realizes what's happening, and her helpless expression is more frightening than the purple flames enveloping her body.
Her lavender eyes well with tears, and I watch as one slips over the edge and disappears just as quickly. I can't hear her words over the sounds of rushing water and roaring flames, but I can read her lips just fine. Finn…forgive me.
Her fire grows and expands in pulsing waves. As though her magic has reached a climax, she throws her arms out wide, her back bowed sharply as she screams. The flames recoil for a split second, and somehow, I know that what comes next is going to be a blast of power that will fill this cave and incinerate everything in its path.
Just as the fire explodes from her body, I grab Taryn around the waist and pull her into me as I drop backward, plunging us into the water. The submersion shocks her out of her power’s trance, effectively extinguishing it. Once I’m sure there’s no lingering magic above us, I pop back up to my feet, bringing Taryn with me.
She sputters a bit but otherwise seems unharmed. I’m more concerned about her mindset. Pushing her heavy curls away from her face, I tip her chin up so I can get a good look at her. “Are you okay? Tell me you’re okay.”
“Me? I wasn’t the one in danger, Finn! Gods, I nearly—” She shakes her head, unable or unwilling to say the rest. Tears stream down her already wet face, and this time they don’t disappear.
“Hey, hey, hey, come here.” I gather her into my arms, ignoring the bite of pain the contact brings from the burns on my chest she has yet to notice. The water is up to her shoulders now. At the rate the water is rising, it won't be long. Another few minutes at most.
“I'm so sorry,” she says, her voice tight with emotion. “I couldn't do it and now we're going to—”
This time I cut her off before she can finish that thought. “Stop. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
She pulls back to look up at me. “How can you say that? I'm a Mystic conjurer who can't handle anything more than lesser magic. I'm a failure and a fraud who let the location of the spear fall into the hands of a mad king who will destroy Faerie, right before I got us killed.”
The water crests the tops of her shoulders, so I lift her up and guide her legs around my waist. Her arms instinctively wrap around my neck, and I wish to gods we were like this in any other situation but this one.
Reaching up, I tuck her hair behind the pointed tips of her ears, then frame her face with my hands as I lock gazes with her soft lavender eyes.
“You are neither a failure nor a fraud. You're the bravest female I've ever met.” She scoffs and tries to look away, but I hold her firm. “Tell me why you didn't break out of that facility.”
“You just saw why. I can't use my powers.”
“There’s a difference between can’t and won’t, Taryn. You can use them, but you didn’t. So I’ll ask again. Why didn't you use your powers to break out of that facility?”
“Because I didn't know who was in there with me, all right?! I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting innocents who may have been held captive there like me. I couldn’t risk it!”
It kills me to see the ghosts from her past haunting her beautiful eyes. Frustration with herself and the desperation of our situation is spilling from her in waves.
Keeping my voice calm and steady, I say, “That's what I thought. Don’t you see? You endured so much suffering on the off-chance innocents might get caught in the crossfire. And the only reason you considered endangering people now is because you trusted me to not let it go that far. That's brave, Taryn. That's fucking heroic. And it's one of the many reasons I love you.”
Her eyes flare wide. “You what?”
“I love you,” I say again. “I think I knew I would fall for you the moment I held your Armas and felt your energy reaching out to me. And despite the uncertain circumstances I’ve found myself in the last few days, my life has never felt so right and it’s all because of you. But it wasn't until I said it out loud just now that I knew it without a doubt. I love you, Taryn Delanie Emory.”
Fresh tears spill over her cheeks. “It’s not fair. It feels like I’ve waited six hundred years for you, and we only had three days.”
Staring into her lavender eyes, I rasp, “Best three days of my life.”
The water is finally high enough that it lifts me off the sarcophagus, and I have to brace a hand on the ceiling to hold us steady.
“Finn?” Her voice is laced with panic that slices through me. I'd be lying if I said I'm not feeling it too. I think about never seeing my brothers again, my mother and Seamus, the twins, Bryn and Fiona. About never getting to meet my new niece or nephew.
“It’s okay, I’m right here.” The tops of our heads touch the ceiling. There’s nowhere left for us to go, and the water is already at chin level. “Just keep holding on to me. This is not the end for us. We're together now, and we’ll cross into Mag Mell together, too. Okay?”
She nods, her breaths choppy and teeth beginning to chatter. “Finn, I know they say drowning is the easiest way to go, but if I could do something to guarantee a peaceful crossover, would you want that?”
“What are you thinking?”
“A sleep spell,” she says, tipping her chin to avoid getting water in her mouth.
“We’ll just go to sleep and then…” She nods, jostling more tears loose, and I’d do literally anything to spare her this, but beyond glamours, I have no powers, and for the first time in my life, not even my strength or training can help me.
She’s already blaming herself for this, which is eating at me. We only have precious minutes left together, and I hate the idea of losing even a second of that time. But if putting us to sleep in these final moments will ease any of that guilt for her, how could I deny her?
Palming the back of her head, I crush my lips to hers. I pour every drop of how I feel for her into this kiss. It’s a declaration. An apology. A claiming.
A goodbye.
Water covers our mouths and we’re forced to pull away. We only have seconds before we’ll have to tilt our heads all the way back to access the last few inches of air in order to breathe. “Do it,” I say with more confidence than I feel. “I’ll see you on the other side.”
She gives me a sad smile then places her palm on my forehead as she whispers an incantation in Faerish. My eyes get heavy, but I try to fight it for as long as possible.
