My head snaps in the direction of the husky, feminine voice that’s become my heart’s anthem. She’s wearing gray lounge shorts and a pale pink cami, the pendant of her Armas resting above her sternum. Her curls are still damp enough that the ends reach the bottom swells of her breasts. She looks Tired and uneasy. Yet she’s never been more beautiful. Because she’s alive, and the last time I saw her, I didn’t think either of us would be.
“Taryn,” I whisper. Spanning the distance between us in mere heartbeats, I frame her face in my hands so I can study her, memorize every violet fleck in her lavender eyes, every freckle, every laugh line.
Her hands come up to gently embrace my wrists. “Finnian, I’m fine.”
My jaw clenches, the muscles ticking in agitation that she almost suffered drowning alone because I accepted her offer without fully understanding the repercussions. “But you almost weren’t, and I’m having a difficult fucking time accepting that.”
“I know. I’m sorry I deceived you, but I’d make the same decision again.” My argument must show on my face because she doesn’t let me get it out. “We can fight about it later. Right now, I owe you and your family an explanation.”
I frown. “What kind of explanation?”
“It’s time I tell you what happened before I left Faerie.”
TWENTY-FIVETARYN
Gods, he’s beautiful. I can’t take my eyes off of him, afraid that if I do, I’ll wake up and realize this is all a dream. But it’s not. I’m here, and he’s here.
Mere hours ago, I thought I’d never see him again. Because while he was certain we’d cross into Mag Mell together, I was certain I was headed for Dubnos with the other damned souls. I’ve known for a long time that I’m too tainted to secure a spot among my ancestors in the afterlife, and I made my peace with that. But before I leave this life for the next, I’m going to do everything in my power to send Edevane there first.
Finn brushes his thumbs along my cheeks. “Are you sure? We can talk in private. I don’t want you to feel like just because my family is here that you need to include them.”
“It’s okay. They saved us when I couldn’t.” Tears prick the backs of my eyes, but I blink them back. “They deserve to understand why, just as you do.”
His jaw tics as he steps in closer. Holding my hands to his chest with one of his, he cradles my cheek with the other. “Don’t open up past wounds as some sort of penance you don’t owe.”
“Then let me because I want to. I want to let you in, and it’s important to me that the ones important to you understand why I’m unable to use my Mystic powers in this fight.”
He nods, then kisses me tenderly. Taking my hand, we head toward the seating area where the others are pretending they didn’t just hear every word of our exchange. Caiden looks at his phone and says, “Connor and Conall are here with Romanov.”
I stop in my tracks. “My brother’s here?” The alarm and locks on the penthouse door disengage a second before it opens and Dmitri steps through, followed by the Woulfe brothers who helped us get Finn here when he was still unconscious from my spell.
“Da, moy sestra, I am here,” Dmitri says with an affectionate smile.
I rush into his arms and the sense of being home washes over me. I don’t think I realized how much I needed him here until this moment. When I finally pull away, Finn steps up and greets my brother with a solemn expression. “I’m sorry, D. I swore I’d keep her safe, and I almost got her killed. I failed you.”
“Nyet, comrade. The rat who sold her out was a newer initiate in our clan named Ivan. During your war with the New Purity Order last year, he found a hag stone and was messing around with it when Taryn stepped into his line of sight. He saw through her glamour and went to Edevane with the information. He recognized her Armas. So you see, it is my fault for not keeping a cleaner house.”
“Excuse me,” I chide, crossing my arms under my chest. “As much as I’m loving this strange display of self-deprecating male machismo, I’d like to point out that neither of you are responsible for me or my safety. I am. Only me.”
“Now, sestra—”
“Don’t you ‘now sister’ me, Dmitri Romanov.” I look at Finn to see if he’s going to argue, too, but he holds his hands up in a gesture of surrender, obviously smart enough to know when to shut up. “You guys might be bigger than me, but I’m older than both of you, and I can put you on your asses if the mood strikes. So stop acting like I’m some feeble female who needs your protection before I do just that. Ponyal?”
They exchange sheepish grins, then answer in unison. “Ponyala.”
Someone starts clapping from the living room. Turning, I see it’s Tiernan wearing a huge smile. With Dmitri’s arrival, I’d forgotten we had an audience. Bryn has rejoined the group, sitting next to her husband on one of the couches, each of them resting a hand on her pregnant belly. Connor and Conall—who aren’t anything like the boring, subservient security guards I expected—are posted up by the bar where they can see everyone easily, and Tiernan is sitting in one of the armchairs with Fiona in his lap.
“Brava, Taryn,” Tiernan says. “Love the authority. Not surprised you’re a badass, though. You have a T-name, and T-names are superior over F-names, am I right?”
His wife, Fiona, arches a brow at him. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, not you, love. I was talking about Finni.” But as soon as Fiona looks away, Tiernan nods and winks conspiratorially at me. Right before Fiona backhands him in the chest. “Oof.”
I think I’m going to like her. Bryn seems really nice, too, although Caiden was extremely protective of her after they found us. I noticed he always kept a watchful eye on me whenever I was near her. But I can’t fault him for that. They don’t know me, and Bryn is in a delicate condition, despite the amount of power she has.
As Dmitri, Finn, and I head over to join the others, I address my brother. “Ivan?”
His arctic blue eyes narrow. “Exterminated like the rat he was. But not before I made an example of him for what happens to traitors.”
I don’t need to hear the gruesome details to know that Dmitri made Ivan suffer in front of the clan for his part in my capture. I’m just glad my brother is satisfied that the threat is gone. That means I’ll be able to go home when all this is over. But as Finn takes my hand and guides me down next to him on the open couch, I can’t help wondering if Los Angeles will still feel like home by then. Or if it might be Vegas instead.
“Taryn,” Fiona says, offering me an earnest look. “I want to reiterate what Finn said earlier. None of us expect you to tell us anything. If you say you can’t use your powers, then we believe you.”
I catch Dmitri’s gaze from where he sits on my other side, and he dips his chin in an encouraging nod. He’s the only one on this side of the veil who knows what really happened, and he’s wanted me to let go of the guilt and shame for so long. Maybe telling Finn and his family can be the first step towards that.
Taking a deep breath, I straighten my shoulders and address the room. “I appreciate that, more than you know. But I think it’s time I stop hiding from the truth.”
Finn gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, and I pray it’s not the last time I feel his touch. He knows part of this story already, but I left out the worst parts. And I’m scared to death he won’t want anything to do with me once he hears it all.
No one interrupts me, though I wish they would so I’d have an excuse not to go on. But Brigid seems determined to let the world remain quiet until I’ve sliced myself open and spilled every drop of shame I’ve kept secret for almost five hundred years.
I tell them all the things about me and Devlyn that I told Finn while we were still in his warm bed. Gods, how was that only this morning? It feels like a lifetime ago already. Pulling myself back to the present, I force myself to continue with my confession.
“The entire queendom had gathered at the palace to celebrate Summer Solstice and my 122nd birthday. The latest report from the veil arrived, so my mother decided with everyone there, it was an opportune time to read off the names. An earlier version of her would’ve had more compassion and forethought about what she was doing. But losing my father had broken anything soft in her.
“She read the names, one by one, her tone the same as though reading off ingredients of a recipe. Until she got to the end. Her face drained of its color, and I knew,” I say, my throat tight. “Her gaze met mine, and I shook my head, silently pleading with her not to say it, not to speak it into existence. And then she did; she read the final name on the scroll. Devlyn Emory, captain in the Néit army, prince of the Fire Fae…and my twin brother.”
Shock ripples throughout the room as I concentrate on taking slow, deep breaths. Normally, this is when I would lock the memory away again, unwilling to relive the agony of losing my other half or the horror that came after. But I’m done letting my past rule my present. So this time, I close my eyes, and let the pain come.
