So Jeera came around her counter and didn't stop until she was clasping Ayla by both shoulders. "Sex is absolutely amazing with the right partner. It's boring with the wrong one. It's painful with someone who's an asshole."
"Oh." Ayla's eyes were big.
So Jeera turned the girl up the next aisle and started walking, draping an arm over Ayla's shoulders to keep their heads together. I followed, thankful she was willing to help. I couldn't even imagine how I'd explain all of this to Ayla otherwise.
"So," Jeera said, "you never have to have sex. It doesn't matter how good people say it is. If you aren't ready, then you shouldn't do it. If you're scared, you shouldn't do it. If you don't like the person, don't trust them, or anything else, you shouldn't do it."
"Okay," Ayla said, nodding quickly.
"But," Jeera went on, "a lot of people like it. Now, before you have sex, you need to get on birth control."
"Kanik told me about that on our way here," Ayla admitted.
Jeera looked back to glare at me. "Now? Seriously? You fucking waited this long to even mention it?"
"I didn't think about it!" I tried to explain.
"Fucking men!" Jeera grumbled. "I should cut off your tail, Kanik." She grunted. "Rymar's and Zasen's too!"
"And we probably deserve it," I agreed.
Which made her turn her attention back to Ayla. "I'll talk to Mom and get you an appointment for that, okay? Just so it's one less thing for you to worry about. She'll need to do an exam, but it's not a big deal."
"Naomi gives birth control?" Ayla asked, her eyes lighting up.
"Mom's main job is delivering babies," Jeera explained. "Yes, she helps with emergencies, but all doctors do. Mostly, Mom focuses on women's vaginas."
Ayla gasped, shoving a hand up and over her mouth. "Jeera!"
"That's not a bad word," Jeera insisted. "And you know what else isn't? Asexual. That means someone who isn't sexually attracted to others. Maybe that's you?"
"I don't know," Ayla said.
"Well, do you look at any of the guys you live with and want to touch them? Do they make you feel excited? Do you want to smile or blush when they do something sweet?"
"But that's normal," Ayla said.
Jeera just grinned. "And some people don't feel like that. It's fine. If you want to touch, you can. If you want to kiss, you can. If you want to have sex, you can. Well, sex after birth control, but yeah."
"I just want to be a Dragon," Ayla said softly.
"Why?" I asked, stretching my legs a little to catch up.
"So I can be strong like everyone else," she said. "So I will feel like it's allowed to do all of these things. So I'm not a Mole!"
Jeera's feet turned, and with that arm over Ayla's shoulders, she pulled the girl with her. "Yeah? So you think being a Dragon will make it easier for you to learn?"
Ayla nodded quickly. "And then maybe I won't get sent back if I ask the wrong thing."
"No one," I told her, "is sending you back. Not now and not ever. They'd have to come through me, Rymar, and Zasen first."
"Mm, but I have a better idea," Jeera said, glancing back to catch my eye. "I think maybe it's time for Ayla to meet Boris."
Sixty-NineAyla
Iwas getting overwhelmed with all the talk about sex. Then again, it seemed like everything I knew was a lie. Over and over, the Moles had lied to me, and now I was so confused. Jeera agreed that sex didn't hurt? Father Dayne said God was loving. Zasen said I was allowed to make my own rules?
The surface of the world wasn't burning. God and the Devil weren't destroying everything in their fight. Dragons weren't horrible and evil monsters. Nothing I'd been told in the compound was true. All of it was a damned lie! So far as I cared, the Moles were the ones working for the Devil, and they sure as hell weren't Righteous!
That was why I wanted to be a Dragon. I might not know much, but that one thing was driving me forward. It felt like it would make me more. Or maybe allowed to do more? I wasn't sure, but I didn't want to be the scared little girl who knew nothing anymore. I wanted to be a Dragon!
When I said that, Jeera didn't need to hear any more. She guided me through the milling bodies, aiming towards something at the back. Kanik followed behind us. I got the impression they both knew where we were going. To see someone named Boris, it seemed. But I had no clue why that was important.
As we got closer, I saw a heavy table with a lone man sitting there quietly. The roof over his head was white, letting plenty of light through. He had brown, leathery skin and the whitest hair I'd ever seen - although only a few strands around the edge of his head. Never before had I seen anyone like him. It was as if his coloration had been reversed from what I knew as normal. And yet, among Dragons, he fit in perfectly.
Oddly, it didn't look like this man had much business, but his hands were working on something. It was small and made of metal. Silver, I was pretty sure. And as we got closer, I realized a single thick, round lens hung before one eye. When he noticed us and looked over, the lens made his eye look strangely distorted before he pulled it away.
"Jeera! Kanik!" Then he smiled at me. "And you must be the girl Zasen brought back. Ayla, I believe?"
"Yes, sir," I said softly.
He lifted his hand to his ear. "Girl, you need to be louder. I am ninety-seven years old, and not much about me works so good anymore."
So I lifted my voice and tried again. "Yes, sir."
That made him grin. "There you go. Now what can I do for you three?"
"Ayla wants to be a Dragon," Jeera informed him.
