"Ayla," he breathed, clasping my arm to stop my rant, "the Moles are wrong. I don't even know how to explain, because they are so wrong." His other hand slid across his entire face, "I'm sorry."
"What?"
Zasen leaned over his knees, but his face was no less shocked. "Ayla, I've been trying to seduce you, thinking it was just your view of rules holding you back. I've been flirting - as well as you let me - not realizing I probably scare you more than flatter. I'm sorry. Sex doesn't hurt. It feels good."
"For men."
"For both. Why do you think…" He groaned. "Mole women don't seek it out, do they?"
"No!"
He nodded. "Dragons and Reapers do, because it feels good." His orange eyes flicked up. "For women, their first time, it's true there can be blood. Can, Ayla. That doesn't mean there has to be. At worst, it's a little painful initially. Then it feels good if the person with you cares."
"So you even admit it hurts?"
He looked at me pointedly. "Less than drinking my venom. Much less than getting sliced open by a kitchen knife. Less than the wood in your feet, the beating by that man in front of the house, or a dozen other things you've shaken off so easily."
I swallowed, trying to wrap my mind around his words. "I won't do it, Zasen. I won't do that."
"That?" Kanik asked, stepping only far enough into the room to lean against the door frame.
"Sex," Zasen told him. "Ayla says it's painful."
"Mhm..."
"I told her I'd had sex with Lessa," he explained. "I thought it would explain how we don't have to get married."
"Okay?"
"Do you do it?" I asked, lifting my chin to glare at Kanik. "Do you hurt women like that for fun?"
Zasen gave Kanik a look I couldn't quite make out. Kanik lifted his hands as if he was holding me off. The pair glanced at each other, clearly sharing some thought.
Then Kanik asked, "Ayla, have you ever had sex?"
"No!" I huffed. "I stabbed Mr. Saunders with a fork before he could hurt me like that."
He nodded slowly. "Okay. So do any women enjoy sex in the compound? Harlots? Sluts? Whatever term I'm sure the Moles would use for them."
I shook my head. "No! Wild women are the harlots, but they're minions of the Devil. Eve's curse doesn't affect them anymore."
"What?!" Rymar asked before he was even in view. "Eve's curse?" And then he too stepped into the room.
I backed up, feeling like I was outnumbered. "That's what the Bible says. Eve ate the fruit, so she was cursed with pain. Now it is women's duty to be fruitful and multiply. The act is enjoyable to men because they didn't commit the sin, but women must suffer. We must tolerate it whenever he wants - "
"No!" Rymar said, waving his hand through the air to cut me off. "That is not how it works, Ayla."
"But..."
"That's a lie. That's how those men down there kept you under their thumb. That, Ayla, is something they never want women to know, because they don't want to love you. They want to hurt you, and sex is an easy way to do it. They get off on hurting you. It makes them feel powerful when nothing else does, and the weaker they keep you women, the less you can do to stop them."
"Really?" I asked.
He nodded slowly. "Which is why the three of us never have sex with a woman unless she wants it. Unless she thinks it will feel good. It's her decision, Ayla."
"Always hers," Kanik assured me.
Zasen nodded. "Otherwise, it's called rape, Ayla."
"But a married woman can't be - "
"Yes," Kanik said, cutting me off. "It doesn't matter if she's married, or 'asking for it,' or any other excuse a Mole might use. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, then it is rape. Ayla, rape hurts. Sex doesn't. The acts may have similar mechanics, but they are not the same."
"Oh," I breathed.
So he held out his hand to me. "Maybe we should take a walk and talk about this more where you aren't trapped in a room alone with a bunch of men?"
"Fuck," Zasen grumbled before shoving to his feet and heading for the door. "Didn't even think about that."
"Take her shopping," Rymar suggested. "Maybe for some... vegetables?"
Kanik looked over at him and smiled. "Now that's a good idea." Then he looked back at me. "What do you think, Ayla? Want to see the market and maybe pick out some new food to try for dinner?"
I just nodded, feeling like my head was about to explode. "Yeah. Is it okay if I put my clothes away later?"
"Definitely," Kanik said. "And it also means Rymar and Zasen can lift the crap upstairs. I need a break." And he offered his hand again.
This time, I took it.