Nick sounds a lot like Nathan.
Maybe it’s a Hutton thing.
Eventually he sits up, gesturing and smiling as he shares a few more stories. They sound so close. Cousins, but also the kind of friends I always wished I had when I was younger. The kind who are there no matter what. Someone who knows the worst of you but sees the best and does everything they can to make sure you see it too.
The kind of friend I thought I had in Fallon.
The kind of friend I know I have in Nathan.
I swipe a hand through my hair to brush away thoughts of my so-called friend and that horrible article. They’ll be there, lurking, waiting to pounce when this tragedy is over.
“Once, when we were kids,” Nathan says, “Nick and Angela disappeared for most of a day. They didn't go far. Just down the beach, but they didn’t tell anybody where they were going and we weren’t old enough to be gone that long. Turns out, Angela had a really bad day at school and Nick thought he would give her all the time she needed to get it off her chest. And when they finally came home, his arm wrapped around her shoulder and the two of them just beaming, I felt so left out. They were always close and I wanted that, you know? I was so furious they didn't include me that I wouldn’t speak to them for the rest of the day. This time, I won't be mad when he comes back. I'll wrap that bastard in a hug and thank God he’s okay.”
I want to promise Nick will come home. That they’ll find him and whatever’s happened will be just as easy as the day he took care of Angela.
But Nathan isn’t the kind of man who takes comfort in false hope.
“He sounds like an amazing person,” I say instead.
“If the situation were reversed, he’d be halfway to finding me by now,” Nathan says with a sad smile. He stands, pacing to the window and then back again. “I feel so powerless.”
That makes two of us. I want so desperately to make it better but can’t think of anything to do other than be here, listen, and find a way to take his mind off things once he’s had a chance to process.
“What would Nick tell you to do?” I ask and Nathan pauses, staring at me like he’s had an epiphany. Everything about him softens and for the first time since he knocked on my door, the clouds of sadness lingering over him lift. Just a little. But it’s a start.
“He’d tell me to stop worrying about things I can’t control. Especially when there’s a beautiful woman looking at me the way you are right now.”
The warmth in his voice brings a blush to my cheeks. “And how am I looking at you?”
“Like you’d do anything to make me feel better. Like you understand everything I’m going through. Like you like me. And you’re not just with me for the fun times. You’re with me.”
I sit there, on the couch, stunned into silence by his words.
Everything he said is true.
I don’t just like being with him.
I’m with Nathan West.
With my body.
My mind.
And in my heart.
I’ve never felt anything more real in my life.
THIRTY-FIVE
Nathan
I left The Hut and drove straight to Mina’s apartment. I needed her. I couldn’t imagine going through this without her.
She comforted me for who knows how long, running her hand through my hair while I rambled, lost in my pain. Lost in uncertainty. She listened to my past, my present, and my fear of the future all jumbled up and spilling past my lips in an incoherent stream of consciousness. And now here I am, smiling. Totally aware that she is the ‘something good’ Nick told me to look for when he was standing in my office at the foundation six months ago.
That conversation feels like another life.
One where I was hurting and receding, pulling inward and losing trust in the world.
Mina resuscitated me. She helped me remember who I am. She reminded me the world has enough assholes who are only out for themselves, and I shouldn’t be so quick to add my name to that list.
She’s a damn miracle. An answer to questions I didn’t know needed answered.
I am better with her. I feel safe to be myself with her. Mina won’t take advantage of me. She isn’t with me for personal gain…
I almost laugh out loud at the thought. The only reason we’re together at all is because I’m paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend.
But a pretend girlfriend wouldn’t have invited me in tonight. She wouldn’t have listened to me talk and held me patiently when I couldn’t. Blossom would have told me I was making too big a deal. That I was wallowing. That she couldn’t be around me until I was in a better place.
Mina opened her arms to it all.
That damn article blazes through my mind, the headline lit up in flashing neon. It’s Fake, Folks!
She would have invited me in if she were gathering more info for Fallon fucking Mae…
I banish the thought and pull Mina into my embrace, my heart full for the first time in maybe my whole life. I’m wide open and vulnerable to her. It scares me to death but I’m safe. I know she sees me. I know she cares about me.
I know that she’s with me for me.
