He’d been asking himself that question lately. But he didn’t like the idea that he could’ve wasted nine years of his life wishing for something that was never real.
“That’s beside the point. It won’t help me deal with Rylie tonight.” Jarrett pressed on his brows, trying to relieve the pressure behind his eyes. “She told me to stop being nice to her. What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know, Jarrett. Women are confusing at best. My guess would be she doesn’t mind that you’re nice, but she doesn’t like your motivation. Like Steph gets mad if I’m nice to her because I want to get on her good side for some reason. So why were you being nice to her in the first place?”
Because he cared about her. A lot. Because she was good and loyal and self-sacrificing. Because he couldn’t be close to her without wondering what it would be like to kiss her.
“Because I owe her, Bran. She’s giving up a lot and putting up with a lot… all so I can adopt Gabe. The least I can do is be nice to her.”
“Is it possible she wants more than that? Like a real relationship?”
“No way. She’s the one who set the boundaries and demanded we stay completely platonic.” He paced the floor in frustration.
“You can always go with my fallback line… the one I use when I know I’m in the doghouse and I’m not sure why. It’s great. It works every time.”
“What is it?”
“You were right. I was wrong. I’m so sorry. I was thoughtless and inconsiderate, and you deserve better. Can you ever forgive me?”
“That’s it? You don’t specify what you did?”
“It doesn’t seem to matter, as long as I admit I was wrong, which I probably was. She’s usually right about these things.”
“I don’t think that will work on Rylie.”
“Hey, you do what you want. All I know is it works for me.”
With Bran’s parting good luck wishes, Jarrett ended the call and went in to talk to Rylie. But all he found was a Rylie-sized lump under the bed covers. Not a speck of her face was exposed, not even her nose.
Jarrett wanted things with Rylie back the way they were. The truth was he was quite content with Rylie as his parenting partner. Though he didn’t want to admit it, Matthew might’ve done him a favor.
He cleared his throat, looking for signs of movement, but she didn’t stir. It was just as well. He wasn’t sure what to say to her anyway. Maybe everything would be better tomorrow after she got a good night’s sleep. He checked on Gabe before setting the monitor application and placing the earbud in his ear.
A piercing cry woke him from a dead sleep, and he scrambled off the floor and down the hall before he was even fully conscious, soothing Gabe with soft pats on his back.
“Hey buddy,” he whispered, the echo of his own voice in his head. He removed the ear monitor and checked the time—1:21 a.m. It was going to be a long night.
Rylie’s eyes popped open, her heart pattering with fright when she saw the time, 6:35 a.m. She tried to convince herself Gabe had slept through the night, but panic made it hard to breathe. She knew there was no reason to think he might’ve died during the night, but that didn’t make her heart stop racing.
With a frantic prayer, she flung the covers off and raced for his room. The sight that greeted her stopped her in her tracks. Jarrett lay on his side on the twin bed, one leg sticking out of the covers, draped over the side, his other foot hanging past the end. Tucked against his chest was the sleeping Gabe, his dark lashes feathered on his cheeks. Tender and sweet, the image etched itself in her mind, and she immediately forgave Jarrett for frustrating her the night before. He was only being honest. How could he know his words were ripping her heart to shreds?
Weak with relief, she tiptoed back to her room. Now wide awake, she scolded herself that she’d snapped at him last night. Yet she’d learned something important from everything that had happened yesterday… her self-control had limits. She couldn’t go on like this, not when she felt so alone.
She longed for her almost-daily heart-to-hearts with Carlie. Her sister had been her confidant about everything—her hopes, her dreams, her fears—everything except Jarrett, of course. Now, with no one to talk to, Rylie realized she was close to the breaking point. She didn’t know how to handle her feelings for Jarrett, and there was only one person she could think of who might be able to help.
She dug in the zipper pocket of her purse and retrieved a business card that read, Brooke Miller, LPC. Not only was Brooke a licensed counselor, but from what she’d heard of Brooke and Cole’s story, Brooke would also understand her predicament. And as a professional, she would be sworn to secrecy, right?
Rylie used her phone to jot a quick email to Brooke, reintroducing herself and asking if she would be willing to provide counseling via phone or internet, as she couldn’t very well travel to Houston.
She had just pressed send when the door opened and Jarrett appeared, his mouth stretched open in a yawn. Even with his hair askew, he looked more mouth-watering than ever, his t-shirt lifting to expose washboard abs as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“G’morning,” he said. “How did you sleep?”
“I slept straight through the night. Obviously a lot better than you did.”
“Good. You needed it.” He yawned again, covering his mouth.
“I can’t believe you heard Gabe before I did. Usually, I’m such a light sleeper.”
“I was determined to take my turn last night.”
She wondered if he might’ve started out the night in Gabe’s room, though a glance showed his rumpled pallet on the floor.
“About last night…” He tucked his chin down, looking up through his lashes like a sad puppy. “I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I was inconsiderate, and you deserve to be treated better. Will you forgive me?”
“Exactly what are you apologizing for?”
“Well…” His shoulders came up and dropped. “I’m not really sure, but it must’ve been bad. Bran told me the wife was usually right about these things.”
She was pond scum! First, she’d sat in the car and encouraged him to be honest about his feelings, and then she’d forced him to apologize for it.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I made you go to that meeting, when you didn’t want to. I lost my temper and then ranted about it for twenty minutes. That had to make you uncomfortable.” His toes dug in the carpet. “But as for being nice to you, I want you to know I don’t have any ulterior motive. I’m just trying to be the husband you deserve.”
Torment! Pure torment! Every word Jarrett spoke made her long for what she could never have… his love. The only solution was to withdraw. In order to stay in this marriage without going insane, she had to spend less time with him. To treat him like an employer. And definitely, to avoid all physical contact. It was her new master plan, and she would stick to it. No matter what!
