I went into the bedroom, bent down and looked under the desk, and pulled out the earphones. I didn’t know Julius was right behind me.
“Babe, come on,” he pleaded.
I raised my eyebrow. I knew what he was thinking before he even said it, because Julius was tired of waiting and he tried often to convince me to have sex before we got married. We had argued lately about the fact that we lived under the same roof and I wasn’t willing and ready to have sex. Julius would be so upset that he would leave and stay over at one of his boys’ places until he cooled down. I did wonder if he was having sex with other women, but it never showed its head. Not one time did any chick ever say he was messing around with her. He either had them in check or really loved me.
“Come on, babe. You know I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I love you, but a brother has needs.” He pulled me close.
I ignored his words. “Here’s your headphones.”
“Thanks, babe.” He grabbed me and kissed my lips.
“But, Julius, I promised.”
He began to kiss me. “Reese, I promise you I won’t ever hurt you. You all I got, babe. I love you. You have to trust me. Come on,” he whispered. “I’m leaving for two weeks in a hour. I’m gonna miss you and I want you to experience how much I love you.” He let me go, backed up, and stared at me. Next he got on his knee, pulled out a blue box, and opened it up. “Marry me.”
I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I was gonna pass out right there. The ring was beautiful. It was a two-carat marquise cut diamond with clusters of diamonds all around it.
“Julius!” I screamed.
“Marry me. I swear I will keep you smiling. I want you to be the mother of my children. You have been here for me, Reese. I love you.” I got on my knees with him, put my arms around his neck, and whispered in his ear, “Yes, yes, I will marry you.” I closed my eyes and cried out, “I love you.”
That was it. My promise to Jesus was out the window.
For a while I was bothered that I didn’t keep the promise to Jesus to save my virginity until I was married. I began to psyche myself up to believe that as long as I asked the Lord to forgive me before I did it, while I did it, and when it was over, it was okay to do. I didn’t realize it wasn’t okay to break a vow to God, and I did.
A few years later, Julius and I were graduating from Ohio State. Our next plans were the wedding; then he would be off to football camp as the number-one draft pick in the country. I was headed to our new home in Cleveland, Ohio’s suburbs.
Julius didn’t want me to work yet. He wanted me to travel with him during off-seasons and be active with the team’s wives during the season. So for me life was shopping, trips, clothes, jewelry, and dining.
I was happily married to the man of my dreams, and within a year of marriage we had a son. His name was Michael.
Life was pretty good for a while, until I found out he wasn’t exactly the Prince Charming in the fairytale I was living.
“Babe, I’m headed out. You don’t need anything before I leave do you?” he yelled from the bathroom.
I sat on the couch with our four-day-old baby Michael on my shoulder, rocking him. “Seriously, Julius, out where?” I was so frustrated with him. All he ever did anymore was go out and kick it with his boys. I was so tired of it.
“Yeah, I’m goin’ out wit’ the boys. You got a problem wit’ it?” He came out of the bathroom and stood there looking at me like I did something wrong. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and said, “Babe, please, stay home with us. We need you and you promised me . . .” I didn’t even think he heard me. He walked away, huffed a little, and mumbled under his breath. I put the baby in his swing and followed him. He was standing in the mirror of the bathroom, putting on some cologne.
“Where you goin’?” I asked.
“Out, Reese, I’m goin’ out. Why?”
“What do you mean why? Where’s this coming from, Julius? Huh?”
He put his shirt over his head, his diamonds in his ears, and his cross around his neck. “I wanna go hang out wit’ the fellows, Reese. Can I do that? I’m tired of being here wit’ you.”
He looked down at me, and then walked away. I stood there for a second with my hands on my hips, speechless, watching him walk. I wanted to slap the taste out of his mouth for getting so smart with me, but I decided to do something else.
I walked to our bedroom, grabbed my suitcase out the closet, and began to pack my and the boy’s stuff. I heard him coming down the hallway.
“What you in here doin’?” He smelled so good and looked so good. But I was mad. His sweet-talking and fineness weren’t going to get him out of this one. Julius had been out all week long partying, leaving me here with the baby. He never got up in the middle of the night with the baby. This was for the birds as far as I was concerned. I could go back to Dayton and let my grandma spoil the baby and me!
“Uh? Reese, you leavin’ me, babe? Fo’ real?”
“Yes, I’m out of here! Michael is only four days old and you think you gonna keep leaving me here alone and not help at all. Hum, bet you don’t. I’m out of here!”
He grabbed me around my waist and started laughing. “Come on, girl, quit all that. You know we belong together.”
“I’m not so sure anymore, Julius. All you do is hang out with the fellows. There’s females calling the house phone asking for you!” His eyes got big when I confessed that women had been calling the house for him. He looked puzzled, like he was trying to figure out what they may have told me.
“Who called here? What women, Reese?”
I ignored his question and kept right on talking. “You come back in here drunk and want me to be here, stuck in this big ol’ house all by myself! I’m tired of this!” I flung my arms up and started crying.
“Aw, baby, I didn’t know it was that serious to you. I won’t go. I’ll stay here with you and the baby. Okay? Just don’t cry. You know I hate to see you cry.”
He took off his shirt, picked me up, and walked back to the family room with me in his arms. “Let’s watch movies, or you wanna go out? We can do whatever you want, babe. I can’t lose you.” He put me on the couch and began to rub my feet. His cell began to ring over and over. He looked at it each time and started acting a little nervous, but never answered it.
“You gonna answer that? Who is it and why they keep calling so much?” I questioned.
“It’s the fellows, they probably wondering where I am,” he responded.
We stayed hugged up all night. We were okay . . . I thought.
