Cessilia averted her eyes, turning away from him and back to the center of the banquet hall, where Axelane was bowing as if she had gotten a perfect standing ovation, before many young men flooded her to request a dance. Unlike Vena, the young lady didn’t make the mistake of requesting anything from the King and acted shy and polite to her suitors instead. After her, the dances resumed for a while before another candidate stepped up, this time, Safia from the Yekara Clan, making Tessandra grimace. Just like her predecessor, she obviously had decided to emphasize a lot on her beauty, presenting a solo dance performance and sending the King long, lascivious glances. It would have been very painful to watch without Tessandra’s witty comments, which made Cessilia and Naptunie chuckle all along. When it ended, it was clear the candidate had once again impressed the audience, but not the King. Ashen looked bored to death on his throne, and even ignored his mistress’ comments, dismissing her with a movement of his hand. Far from looking upset, Jisel finally stepped down to go and dance with a young man, serving polite smiles and glances all around.

“They are mistaking this for a beauty contest,” scoffed Tessandra behind her cup.

“Well, we shall enjoy ourselves regardless,” chuckled Yassim. “Lady Naptunie, would you offer me a dance?”

The two of them went dancing, and much to her own surprise, a brave young man also stepped forward to invite Tessandra for a dance, although he seemed extremely tense and nervous. Cessilia pushed her cousin to go and enjoy herself, convincing her that she should practice for when she would get a chance to dance with Naptunie’s handsome older brother...

Cessilia remained with Uncle Yamino, who was already a bit drunk in his seat. She couldn’t enjoy the dances, but she watched Tessandra and Naptunie seemingly having fun, sending them smiles when their eyes met. However, doing nothing and standing to the side, she felt a bit bored. She had never been fond of the banquets held by her aunt at home, either, too crowded for her introverted nature. Luckily, the next performance to start seemed more interesting. Displaying a strange machine made of wood, metal, and a candle, Bastat requested the whole banquet room to be put in the dark, most candles blown out but hers, to offer the audience a magnificent show of shadows against the walls of the room. In a few seconds, everyone was completely entranced by the darkness of the room, and the magnificent light show, listening to Bastat’s explanations of her own creation.

In the midst of all this, no one witnessed the King leaving his throne and the hall through a back door, nor the hand that pulled Cessilia away from the crowd just a moment later.

OceanofPDF.com

Chapter 9

The reason Cessilia hadn’t resisted the pull was simply out of sheer surprise and confusion. The room had been in the dark just before, and she had barely realized what was going on nor where she was being dragged to. It only took a matter of seconds too. Opening a door on the side of the room, Ashen pulled her with him onto the balcony circling the banquet hall. They were on one of the high towers of the castle, and aside from the main doors the guests had come in and out from, and the small door behind the throne, all the other doors on the side led to that very balcony.

It wasn’t the best weather to be outside in. The storm was loud above them, and the clouds dark. A rainfall had begun, landing big droplets on them and threatening to inundate the little balcony in seconds if it wasn’t for the draining system.

Cessilia didn’t care much about the tempestuous weather, though; the cause of her distress was the man who had dragged her there. She glared at him the second she realized it was Ashen. When he felt they were far enough from the door, both of them barely protected against the stone wall, Ashen turned around to face her.

Cessilia suddenly turned her wrist and broke herself free in one movement, taking him by surprise. It was one brutal, quick gesture that showed her annoyance at him, but Ashen didn’t protest, only pulling his hand back with a sullen expression.

“...Sorry about that,” he muttered. “I needed to talk to you alone.”

Unsatisfied, Cessilia crossed her arms and looked away from him, at the waves crashing against the rocks below. She clearly had no intention to make this easy for him.

“Listen... I don’t want us to fight, Cessilia. I... missed you. I never even thought that you’d come back, and now that you’re here, you ignoring me is torture. Do you have any idea how many men were staring at you, while you purposely won’t even let me look at you? I’m barely keeping myself from murdering my own men for that!”

She didn’t even react to his words or his pleading eyes. Ashen slowly realized it was all his fault. He never thought for even a moment that it would be harder to look upon her face, while she was still giving him the cold shoulder. Cessilia’s icy gaze was directed at the sea, refusing to look at him, and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to be mad at her, not even for a second.

She was beautiful. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and it wasn’t just about her physical appearance. It was in the way she appeared both strong and fragile, fearless but shy. The way the rain slowly ran down her curls he was dying to brush with his hands. Her pale lips, her slender cheeks, her green gaze, cold like an emerald. Something in him was screaming to hold her, right now, but he was holding on to his last strings of willpower not to cross that dangerous line. He sighed and brushed his white hair back, glancing at the window behind her, showing the room inside still in the dark.

“Cessilia, I... I know I’ve treated you too harshly. I was so confused after I had thought I’d never see you again. I directed my anger at you, and I shouldn’t have. I’ve thought about this often. I knew it would have been reckless to bring you to war with me. Those two years were the best of my life, and brutally, your father rejected me and chased me away, back into my own Kingdom still torn apart by civil war. I was barely seventeen, and I had just gotten back on my feet! ...Can you even understand how painful that was for me? I was scared, confused, and angry. I felt like I was given hope, only to have it all crushed again. I considered your family my own, and you all welcomed me so warmly too! I never wanted to leave, Cessilia. I would have never wanted to leave, but your father didn’t even give me that choice.”

Anger appeared in his expression again, and he glared at the wall behind her, clenching his fists at the memory. He was shaking, not because of the cold but because of how painful that memory was. The feelings of that time were all coming back, too hard to endure. Ashen made sure not to direct his ice-cold gaze at Cessilia, but even so, the Princess wasn’t looking at him. She seemed to be hearing him while trying not to listen and refused to move or look his way. They were standing less than two steps away from one another; they were too close for her not to hear him. His large body was partially shielding her from the rain that had intensified, and the wind that was whipping his skin. Ashen’s white hair was floating around his face, while Cessilia’s curls were still down, barely moving as no breeze reached her. She was both shielded and cornered.

Ashen scoffed bitterly.

“...You probably don’t even know what happened that night. I knew your mother had noticed my feelings toward you, but as always, she trusted me. I was always aware I shouldn’t have loved you, but... I couldn’t help it. Our age difference was driving me insane, so I pretended not to see you were feeling the same, for as long as I could. Somehow, I had this hope that as you grew older, we would finally be free to love each other. It became real torture over time. The older you got, the more beautiful you became... I knew my own feelings for you had grown from innocent fondness to love, and as you started to look more and more like a woman, it just became too hard to pretend not to see it. When you began to show you were loving me back, I felt like the gods were trying to tear me apart.”

As if to emphasize his words, the storm thundered loudly above their heads. The rain was starting to pour now, and Ashen moved closer to Cessilia, trapping her between him and the castle’s wall. He meant to shield her from the downpour, but she was pinned under him, and it was harder to avoid his burning gaze on her. She was regretting that low cut in her back, and trying to stay away from the cold stone behind her.

Just then, Ashen sighed, and in a swift movement, undid his fur cape to place it on her shoulders. Cessilia tried to take it off, but as soon as her hand grabbed it over her shoulder, Ashen’s fingers caught it. This time, she glared back at him, not avoiding his dark eyes anymore. The King didn’t seem to mind at all. His eyes were on her, and he resumed talking, strangely calm for once.

“I would have never, ever touched you when you were that young, Cessilia. When... when we kissed for the first time, I understood that. Rather than unleashing my desire, it gave me the power to restrain it. For you. I knew I could wait for as long as it took, but... I never thought your father wouldn’t trust me.”

By now, the rain was running down his drenched hair and face and had begun to drip down Cessilia’s too. Still, his hand was hot over hers, and grabbing it tightly despite the sharp scales. He didn’t want to let go, and wouldn’t. She had stopped fighting him, but her eyes went away from his again, her lips pinched together in a bitter expression. That memory wasn’t just painful for him.

“That night, when Krai found us outside of the Onyx Castle, and Kassian took you home, I thought they’d just be mad at me for taking you out late. But your father and Darsan dragged me to the border. They told me to leave the Empire, and to never approach you again!”

He released her hand, clenching his fists by his side, overtaken by anger again. He shook his head, visibly furious.

“I begged them, Cessilia. I begged your father and brother a thousand times to let me back in, to forgive me. I swore I had never touched you, and I would never touch you until you were an adult. I had even thought I’d wait till your seventeenth birthday, just like the age your parents got together!”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Several, even, trying to calm himself down.

“I... I swear I’m not mad at you. I knew there was no way you’d come, but I still waited. I waited for days, hoping to see you, and at the same time, a part of me didn’t want you to meet me there. I knew you’d be too young to follow me to my Kingdom when you had only known the peace of your family’s Empire. So I left. I left, with my anger and my rancor, and I used it to fuel my desire to reconquer this place. It’s still... a work in progress, but I got rid of so many people who were aligned with my father, and those who opposed me. I’ll soon be the King of a peaceful Kingdom, and then, I’ll truly be able to show your father he was wrong about me!”

He had almost shouted that last sentence, and when he realized that, his eyes went to the side, where the nearest window was. No one seemed to have heard, though. Luckily, the walls and tinted windows were thick, and with the raging storm above them, most of his words were blown away by the wind.

Cessilia was the only one there to hear him, but the Princess’ expression remained as cold and still as a statue. It wasn’t as if she didn’t listen; she simply didn’t care what he had to say. She kept ignoring him, putting that invisible but thick wall between them. This vision broke Ashen.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” he muttered.

She turned her eyes back to him, and for a second, his heart was filled with hope that she’d talk, finally, but his hope was cut short. Cessilia stared blankly, and suddenly, the vision of her expression when he had told her to shut up hit him like a slap. He had done this. She had tried to talk, and he had dismissed her, twice. Now, he was willing to talk, but she didn’t want to anymore. He was reaping what he sowed, and it was those cold, green eyes on him.

It wouldn’t have been so hard to endure if she hadn’t looked so beautiful in that instant. She was like a goddess under the rain and storm, not fearing him, not allowing him anything. She seemed so fragile and so small in front of him, yet he knew he had already lost to her. He couldn’t win, not when he loved her so much, so painfully. Not when she had that cold mix of anger and resentment in her eyes. Not when he was the one who had broken that bridge she had desperately tried to build between them, after all this time. It was his fault.

“Cessilia, I’m sorry,” he muttered, stepping closer.

She backed against the wall, and a faint dash of pink appeared on her cheeks. She was suddenly desperate to avoid his gaze, but she couldn’t hide her reactions well. There was still something between them, something that made them warm despite the cold and driving rain.

“Cessi, I’m really sorry.”

Her lower lip twitched, and for a second, with all those drops running down her face, it looked as if she was crying. Perhaps she really was, but it was hard to tell. Ashen took a deep breath and leaned down to kiss her.

It was a passionate, almost forceful kiss. However, for the first two or three seconds, Cessilia didn’t resist it. She responded to it, even. In that very brief moment, the passion between them ignited like a burning fire. Their lips acted on their own, left to their own desires. It wasn’t like the innocent kiss of their younger years. This one was full of passion, thirst, and even some rage. They didn’t breathe, just kissing wildly for the handful of seconds it lasted.

Cessilia brutally snapped out of it. So brutally, she slapped him with the back of her hand, furious and glaring at him for kissing her like that. She was angry he had dared to take her by surprise, and angrier she hadn’t resisted it earlier.

Shaken up, Ashen was brutally slapped back to reality. He took a step back, and his fingers touched his cheek, feeling the two small cuts. Cessilia’s scales had scratched him. It was involuntary, and in fact, he didn’t care at all for that injury. He was much more hurt by how violently she was rejecting him, and glaring at him. This made him angry too.

“You just felt that too! You don’t hate me, Cessilia, you still love me, so why do you do this to me?! What do I have to do for you to speak, and be honest!”

He was running out of patience, but so was the Princess. Using her two hands, she pushed him off of her, finally putting some distance between their bodies. She looked really upset this time, and kept her hands up between them, as if to prevent him from coming near again.

“Cessilia!”

“D-don’t ever d-do th-that again,” she painfully muttered with a hoarse voice.

Despite what she said, hearing her speak to him again brought a wave of relief to Ashen. He nodded faintly, but he knew she really was angry. He had rarely seen her angry before, but Cessilia was almost as scary as her father when she was mad, and he’d rather not do that to her again.

If he had hoped they could talk again, he was mistaken. She pushed him away from her and began to move to walk back inside, keeping her hands wrapped around herself. She visibly didn’t dare to touch his fur cape around her, although she wouldn’t take it off either.

“Cessilia!” he insisted, dying to grab her wrist again and have her stay there.

She stopped her steps, but she was already turned away from him, leaving Ashen to stare at her back again.