_______ My heart is racing.
_______ My body is sweating or shaking, and my posture may be hunched (so that I look smaller), or I feel as though I want to retreat into the background.
_______ I’m breathing quickly and shallow, and from my chest (instead of from deep in my belly).
_______ My muscles (in my jaw, neck, upper back, psoas) are generally tense and may be trembling or shaking.
_______ I may not be talking much, may be talking at a low volume, or may be rambling or trying to change the subject of the conversation.
_______ My eyes are distracted or I’m avoiding eye contact with my immediate environment altogether and they’re fixated elsewhere (i.e., like on my phone or TV screen).
MIND:
_______ My thoughts are racing, and I may have difficulty concentrating on tasks or thinking clearly and critically.
_______ My thoughts are hyper-fixated a certain subject, topic, or issue.
DETACHER MODE (FREEZE or SHUTDOWN RESPONSE)
I notice myself shutting down, checking out, or disconnecting entirely. I feel numb or empty. My mind often feels blank, and I struggle to connect with my thoughts or feelings or verbalize them to others.
BODY:
_______ I feel generally detached or apathetic and may even feel depressed, hopeless, despairing, or unmotivated.
_______ My heartbeat is slowed or imperceptible.
_______ My body may be cold or numb and is generally shrunken, and my head may hang low.
_______ I’m breathing from a constricted chest and may even be holding my breath or feel an overall stiffness in my midsection.
_______ My muscles are generally weak and feel fatigued or heavy.
_______ I feel physically exhausted, energetically depleted, or mostly numb and unable to feel any emotions or physical sensations at all.
_______ I may be silent or my speech is flat, monotone, or forced (I’m nodding or giving one-word responses).
_______ My eyes have a blank or far-off stare.
MIND:
_______ I feel spaced out and may feel unsure of what is real versus imagined.
_______ My mind feels blank, and I may have difficulty concentrating on tasks or thinking clearly and critically.
PLEASER MODE (FAWN RESPONSE)
I’m fixated on the physical or emotional states of others and may even take full responsibility for anticipating their needs, feelings, or actions. I regularly notice myself overexplaining or defending my thoughts, feelings, or choices to others.
BODY:
_______ I’m disconnected from my body and often have difficulty noticing how I feel.
_______ My attention is hyperfocused on others or the environment around me.
_______ My breathing may mirror that of people with whom I’m spending time.
_______ My energy may reflect the energy of others around me or my environment.
_______ My eyes are constantly scanning someone or something in my external environment.
MIND:
_______ My attention is always on the lookout for the next possible issue (“waiting for the other shoe to drop”).
_______ I’m distracted by thoughts or worries about others being mad or upset with me or concerns about external circumstances in general.
Your Regulated Nervous System Checklist
CONNECTOR MODE (SAFE AND SOCIAL RESPONSE)
I notice myself feeling calm, safe, and open to engaging or connecting with someone or something around me. I’m curious and able to see things from a different perspective, hold space for complexity and contradiction, and remain grounded and responsive to whatever arises.
BODY:
_______ I feel physically awake, relaxed, and alert.
_______ My body posture is open, relaxed, and at ease, with my arms hanging loosely alongside my body.
