Widened eye and jaw (mouth opened slightly as in a gasp)
Unexpected event or violation of expectation
This practice helps us develop emotional awareness so that we can learn how to witness an emotion when it’s present. Using body consciousness to identify our physical sensations gives us an opportunity to consciously try to change those sensations so that we can change our emotional experience of the world around us.
As you become conscious of different physical sensations, many of which may have been present for some time, it is helpful to also begin to witness the way you think and talk about your emotional experiences. If you notice the urge to overidentify with certain emotions or your emotional state in general by thinking or saying things like “I’m scared, stressed, or angry,” practice saying “A part of me feels scared, stressed, or angry.” Over time, this practice can help you hold space for the many different emotions we can and often do experience at once, which more accurately reflects the multidimensionality of our shared human emotional experience.
Create Safety by Regulating Your Nervous System
Even if we’ve been living in a stressed state for years, as many of us have, our nervous system is still capable of regulating at any time. When we create safety for ourselves regardless of what’s happening around us, we increase our tolerance for uncomfortable emotions, perceive our environment and other people more accurately, and respond calmly, kindly, and in ways that better allow us to connect us with the people we love.
The following pages contain, in my opinion, the most effective practices to create the internal safety needed to help regulate our nervous system. Some of them, like intentional breathing and grounding in nature, are best used in the moment to create immediate safety. Others, like nutrition, sleep, energy work, and boundary setting are lifestyle shifts that can help us more consistently meet our physical needs over time. Though some of you may find that eating a nourishing meal just one day, getting one good night’s sleep, or doing a single session of energy work helps you feel calmer, most of us have ignored our physical needs for so long that we’ll need to adopt these habits consistently over time before we notice the impact.
It’s helpful to notice where your attention is as you practice the different exercises below. If your attention is lost in worrying or upsetting thoughts, including replaying whatever experience may have activated your nervous system, your body will remain stressed and will not be able to fully calm down. Continue to be patient with yourself and your body as you commit to the following practices; you didn’t become dysregulated overnight, and it’ll likely take longer than a single day of practice to regulate your nervous system. You also don’t have to commit to all the practices listed here at the same time. Pick one that stands out to you, and begin there. Using your FSJ, you can set a daily intention to practice this one technique for a few days, weeks, or months.
Intentional Breathing Practices
One of the most effective ways to regulate our nervous system is with our breath. Some breathing techniques, like the Wim Hof Method, are better suited to thaw or energize a freeze or shutdown response, while others work best for calming a fight-or-flight state. Because we’re all unique, I suggest trying different techniques to see what is most helpful to you.
Deep belly breathing. This type of breathing can calm a fight-or-flight response by relaxing our nervous system when our sympathetic branch is in control. Try to practice deep belly breathing anytime you feel stressed and/or incorporate it into your regular routine by practicing it every morning just after you wake up or every night before bed.
Find a comfortable position or safe space where you can relax for several minutes. If you can sit or lie down, that’s ideal, but you can also practice this exercise standing up.
Place one hand over your chest and the other right below your rib cage.
Take a deep breath through your nose and feel your stomach rising with the inhaled air.
Exhale slowly through pursed lips, feeling the air leave your body and your stomach sink.
Repeat for one or two minutes.
Reassess your physical sensations and notice whether your heart rate drops, your muscles relax, and you feel your energy calm.
Wim Hof Method. This type of breathing can energize our nervous system when we’re stuck in a freeze or shutdown response and our parasympathetic nervous system is dominant. It’s helpful to practice Wim Hof breathing anytime you feel frozen, dissociated, or numb, and also begin to incorporate it into your regular routine if you often find yourself in this state.
Find a comfortable position or safe space where you can remain for several minutes.
Take thirty quick, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
Then take one deep breath and exhale, holding the exhale until you need to breathe in.
Inhale again, as deeply as possible, and hold for ten seconds.
Repeat until you feel your body begin to energize or your awareness return to the present moment.
Grounding Yourself in Nature
Having direct physical contact with nature, known as earthing or grounding, has been shown to stabilize our body at the deepest levels, balancing and improving nearly every aspect of our physical function.22 Grounding allows us to coregulate with Mother Earth, or simply use her natural energy to bring our own body back to safety. This isn’t woo-woo thinking but science, as the earth’s natural electrical charge has been shown to activate our parasympathetic system, improve heart rate variability, or HRV (we’ll talk more about HRV in chapter 8), reduce inflammation, improve sleep, increase energy, ease pain, lower stress, boost overall well-being, and normalize the body’s biological rhythms, including our HRV.23 Even moving ours eyes back and forth like we’re viewing or gazing at the earth’s horizon line can help activate our parasympathetic nervous system, sending calming signals to our body and mind. Whenever possible, it’s beneficial to spend at least thirty minutes outside each day, physically connected to the natural world.
Here are a few ideas to help you co-regulate with Mother Earth.
Stand barefoot or sit on a patch of grass.
Swim in an ocean, river, or lake.
Take a barefoot walk on the beach.
Hug or sit up against a tree.
Garden or work in the soil.
Build a snowman or make snow angels.
NUTRITION
If you’re consuming a diet that inflames your nervous system, as many of us do, you’ll have a difficult time feeling safe and regulating your emotions. The health of our microbiome, the multitude of microorganisms that inhabit our intestinal tract, directly affects the health of our central nervous system, thanks to a pathway known as the gut-brain axis. Most of us have more unhealthy gut flora than we should, which can cause a condition known as dysbiosis, increasing our risk of disease and nervous system dysregulation.
When the bad bacteria in our gut outnumber the good bacteria, we can suffer from leaky gut syndrome. This condition occurs when the cells lining our intestines weaken, allowing toxins and food particles to enter our bloodstream, causing inflammation and nervous system dysregulation. Many factors can cause leaky gut, including too much stress, gluten, processed sugar, or alcohol; a nutritionally imbalanced diet; and the overuse of some prescription and over-the-counter drugs.24
Prioritizing nutrient-dense, organic, whole foods that nourish the body rather than inflame it can help heal dysbiosis, leaky gut, and nervous system dysregulation. When I started eating more whole foods and less processed ones, I noticed that I felt calmer and more regulated after a few months. Since changing our nutritional lifestyle habits is not a quick fix, it’s important to make dietary shifts that you can sustain not just for days or weeks but for a longer period of time. Instead of adopting a an all-or-nothing mentality of what you can and cannot eat, think about prioritizing certain foods and minimizing your intake of others.
FOODS TO PRIORITIZE FOR NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION
Whole foods. When you consume unprocessed or minimally processed whole foods, you minimize your intake of many items that inflame your nervous system. That said, these foods can often be expensive or less accessible than processed foods are. Affordable whole foods can sometimes be found through community gardens, food-sharing programs, co-ops, or food pantries.
Foods high in B vitamins. B vitamins, especially B12 and folate, play a critical role in supporting our nervous system and preventing mood disorders such as anxiety and depression.25 Most of us don’t consume enough B’s, especially B12, which is found only in animal products like meat, dairy, and eggs. I noticed a significant shift in my mood after I started eating more organic and grass-fed animal products after years of avoiding those foods. You can try supplementing with something called methylated B12 and folate. Methylated B’s can be absorbed by people who have genetic variants of the MTHFR gene, a common condition that prevents some people from properly digesting B12 and/or folate. Just be sure to speak with your medical practitioner before taking any new dietary supplement.
Foods high in marine omega-3 fats. Eicosatetraenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) are two marine omega-3s found primarily in fatty seafood that are necessary for a host of physiological functions, including nervous system health, cognitive health, and the prevention of many mood disorders. Though omega-3 fats are found in plants like flaxseeds, walnuts, and chia seeds, the marine omega-3s (EPA and DHA) are by far the most beneficial for nervous system health and regulation. You can find these fats in salmon, sardines, mackerel, cod liver oil, trout, mussels, oysters, and tuna.
