“Please Michael,” I said quietly. “I can’t do this without you.”
He sighed and looked up at me with a pained expression. “Being back here at Lineage where so many awful things happened to the both of us, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t have a good feeling about it at all, Lisette.”
My heart felt like it was bottoming out.
However, he continued with an answer that was surprisingly refreshing. “But you know that I will be with you no matter what. I can’t seem to think of life without you anymore and I will stay will you always unless you send me away.”
I smiled at him as I felt relief wash over me.
“One year,” Michael said as he gripped my chin, holding my gaze with his. “And not a day longer.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
I leaned forward and kissed him, and when his tongue traced the inside of my lips, I knew that I couldn’t think of a life without him anymore either.
“But know,” he whispered quietly enough that only I could hear him. “That you’re killing me.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder and felt his hands run through my hair. I knew the sacrifice he was making for me this time. I knew how hard it was to be back here, especially for him. And I knew how much he must love me in order to be willing to do it.
I couldn’t explain it, but I also knew that this was the right thing to do.
“Well, now that that’s settled,” Adam said. “Where do we start?”
I lifted my head to look up at everyone. “I think we should start by choosing where we’ll stay.”
“Good idea,” Rob said. “Layla was saying something about how she had the dormitories renovated and I think that the new building over by the auditorium had an entirely new wing added on that resembles a sort of penthouse suite. That might be a good place to—”
I interrupted him before Rob could get any further.
“You’re not staying with us,” I said as I pointed up at him.
And when sadness washed over his features, I wanted to laugh in his face.
He really was a piece of fucking work.
19
“She’s really being tough on the poor guy,” Adam chuckled as he looked out the window and watched Rob walk across the campus alone.
“He deserves it after what he did,” Michael retorted.
“I can hear you guys, you know,” I said from the other room.
Michael came around to reach around my waist and lift me up, planting soft kisses on my neck and cheek until I started to giggle.
“It does feel a little weird only having three of us,” Adam said. “Not that I liked Rob that much, but I guess I just miss Julian sometimes.”
“Julian used to get under your skin too,” Michael reminded him.
“True,” Adam laughed. “But I still miss the guy.”
“So do I,” Michael said.
I missed him too, frequently much more than I could bear. But it brought me comfort sometimes to know that Michael and Adam thought about Julian. It made me feel like I wasn’t the sole keeper of his memory. His parents didn’t count because they didn’t know Julian like we did. I liked that Michael, Adam, Julian, and I had become like a little family and that what had started off between them as jealousy, ended up being a strong bond of friendship.
I didn’t feel that way with Rob, at least not after what he had done. Granted, he hadn’t actually betrayed us by definition. But having kept things from us the whole time was close enough. The three of us had been through too much to take trust lightly anymore. My mother had a little nugget of wisdom for nearly anything, and she had one for “trust” too. She would say that trust was like a piece of paper and once you crumpled it up, you could never get it all the way back straight again. As always, she was right.
It wasn’t that I distrusted Rob, it was just that I didn’t trust him completely. I wasn’t sure if that feeling would ever wear off and I’d feel like I could trust him fully again, or if that paper would remain crumpled for good.
We did, however, take his advice and go look in the new dormitory building that Layla had renovated during the time that she was Headmistress. Rob had been right; the whole place was pretty sweet. An entire new floor had been added, as well as an additional wing. The new section was more like a penthouse apartment than a dormitory and the three of us had plenty of comfort and room inside it. It was actually almost too much room and I found myself sometimes really missing the cottage in Asheville. Still, for a year this would be a nice place to stay.
It overlooked almost the entire campus, which was how Adam was able to watch Rob currently walking the paths by himself.
As Headmistress, I thought it would be a good idea to assign people roles to work on during our year here. I made Rob head of security. Since he was a cop, it seemed like the logical thing to do. He trained a few other guys to work security patrol with him and it was nice having an actual team of people who kept the campus safe, instead of having thug-like bouncers who just liked to intimidate people and make the border between Lineage and Goldshire seem like an impassible sea.
Rob and I hadn’t talked much since I told him that I didn’t want him to live with us. I think he was really hurt by it, and although I felt badly, I still felt like it was the right thing to do. If I was going to attempt to run the school and get a whole lot of things accomplished within a single year, then I need to feel focused and safe and not be distracted by drama. It was nice to spend time with just Michael and Adam again; it felt a bit like home.
Rob had taken up a room in one of the dormitories across campus. I don’t think he liked seeing me hanging out with Michael and Adam and not him. I think he thought it was better to have some space between us until we were both ready to make amends again.
I put Adam in charge of the on-campus halfway house since he was already pretty familiar with how halfway houses worked and since he knew first-hand what it was like to be homeless. And I put Michael in charge of the stargazing observatory in honor of Julian. I thought that he would do a great job creating something that would honor Julian’s memory, and that it also wouldn’t hurt him to have some time at night looking at the stars in the sky to help him remember that we’d be getting back to Asheville soon. In the back of my mind, as much as I was still torn between them, I simply couldn’t imagine it not being Michael who I brought back to Asheville with me.
Then again, whenever I gazed into Adam’s eyes I felt the same way about him.
One year. I can figure this out in one year.
And me? Well, I would be working on the gardens for David. I felt like I was the only one who really and truly wanted to honor David’s life, as awful as much of it had been. It also made me feel close to my mother, being in the garden with the flowers and the occasional butterfly made me sink back into the memories of being in my childhood backyard, which were no longer tainted with images that I’d rather forget.
