Thu-Thum.

I let out a breath, though there’s no relief in it, and cling to the only person I’d set this world on fire for.

When I wake, it’s to the creaking of the door I haven’t bothered to lock in days.

I blink rapidly, uncomfortable with the idea of Az seeing me in such a vulnerable state. Usually I like to threaten his life in case he gets the idea he can double-cross me. It makes it much more difficult to be intimidating if you’re found cuddled up in the arms of your indefinitely unconscious loved one, wetting their sheets with your tears.

I bolt upward in bed, but when the speckled light from the stained glass windows illuminates my visitors, Az is not among them.

“Blaise?”

Concern lines Evander’s brow as he and Kiran step into a ballroom flecked with light that illuminates a pair of sleeping bodies.

And the vampire who will rip apart any seam it takes to bring them back.

“Blaise, what in Alondria…?”

Evander’s sea-green eyes scan the ballroom, taking in the emerald dais on the far end, the tapestries that outline Zora’s many lives.

Mostly, he stares at the two bodies, Nox and Zora laid across the cots I dragged up here for them days ago. Light speckles their faces, breathing life into Nox’s pale features, his sister’s warm ones.

Understanding clicks into his expression, and his gaze moves slowly to my mouth, searching for blood.

“I didn’t kill them, if that’s what you’re thinking,” I stutter, scrambling to my feet from where I was just tucked into Nox’s side. I suppose it probably looked like I was feeding on his neck, with the way I was lying across him. “They’re both alive. I wouldn’t hurt them.”

Evander’s shoulders slump in relief, but Kiran approaches Zora, placing two fingers below her jawline. I suppose he locates her pulse, because he steps away and nods toward Evander.

“You left,” is all Evander says, refusing to take his eyes off me.

“You don’t know how dangerous Abra is. The lot of you were discussing what to do about her, like all it would take to defeat her would be a few carefully placed political maneuvers. I was afraid you didn’t understand what you were getting yourself into.”

Kiran crosses his arms, his tanned skin betraying divots of muscle grooved into his forearms. “So you thought it best to take on the Queen of Mystral on your own?”

I find I can’t hold Kiran’s molten gaze, not when it seems it might bore a hole right through me, exposing my lies for what they truly are.

“I just…I just can’t lose anyone else.”

My hand instinctively finds my belly, because at least those words aren’t a lie.

“And these two?” Evander asks, still from the edge of the room. It hurts that he doesn’t approach as easily as Kiran does, but then again, I’ve never betrayed Kiran.

At least, I haven’t betrayed Kiran yet.

“I wasn’t completely forthcoming with you back in Othian,” I say, to which Evander hardly blinks. I suppose that by this point, he’s used to this sort of behavior from me.

Use what they already assume about you to your advantage, Az’s words echo in my ear.

“I wasn’t the only prisoner Abra kept. Nox was here before me. His sister too. He and I…we formed a bond.”

Evander works his jaw, clearly still hurt that I left with hardly a note, not trusting my friend enough to ask for help. “And are you and Nox involved?”

There’s a protectiveness in the way he says that word, involved, that makes my heart ache for another time, another life. One where I might have been content with my and Evander’s platonic relationship. One where I wouldn’t have gotten myself into this mess to begin with.

But I suppose if I never got myself into trouble, I’d never have found Nox. So there’s only so much I can bring myself to regret.

The best lies are layered into the rawest truths, Az’s voice reminds me from earlier today.

I might be a vampire now, but there’s not a drop of fae blood in me, meaning lies can spill from my mouth without consequence.

I allow my gaze to drop to the floor, and I trace a cluster of fuchsia and turquoise lights with my bare toe. “Nox wasn’t just a prisoner. He was tasked with extracting the parasite from me. By any means possible. We grew to care for each other, but it didn’t start out that way. I wanted to tell you about him. I just thought that because of what you found out, about Derek, I mean…” My throat swells at the mention of the man who stole my childhood. “I thought maybe you’d think I had…” I slam my eyes shut and swallow. “I thought maybe you’d think I’d fallen for someone who hurt me. I wasn’t sure you’d understand that what Nox did, what the queen forced him to do—that he was protecting his sister.”

I flick my gaze back at Evander, still unable to raise my chin. In the corner of my eye, I sense Kiran tense.

Evander’s jaw works, like he’s trying to find something, anything, to say. Eventually he settles on, “I like to think I would have listened. Would have understood.”

The words hang between us, stale as the air in this abandoned ballroom. It’s not the first time I haven’t come to him with the truth. Not the first time I’ve withheld asking my friend for help.

It’s not the last, either, but it’s imperative I convince him otherwise.

So I take a breath and explain. Well, I explain enough, twisting details like wisps of hair rearranged to hide the bald spots in my story. I tell Evander and Kiran that I came to Othian intent on killing Queen Abra, but that when I arrived, she was already gone. That I’d waltzed into the castle only to find she’d decided to punish my leaving by placing Nox and his sister into a magical slumber, probably with some potion she concocted.

I lie, and I sprinkle the lies with truth, and I do it so seamlessly, neither Kiran nor Evander questions my story all that much, except that Kiran asks why the castle is all but abandoned.

Thankfully, I’m able to tell him the truth, that I frightened all the servants away.

Kiran nods, and to my surprise, squeezes my shoulder. Where his rough fingers brush my neck, a splash of comfort washes over me. It fades as soon as he draws away his hand, but I’m grateful for it all the same. Why Kiran has trusted me with his secret power, his ability to manipulate emotions through touch, I’m not sure.

He really shouldn’t.

“I suppose you’ll want us to arrange transport for them back to Othian,” Kiran says, nodding toward Nox and Zora, “until we can apprehend Abra and force her to wake them.”

I can’t allow Nox and Zora to reside under the supervision of Kiran’s guards.

“Actually, I believe I know someone who can move them,” I say, and when Kiran and Evander look at me with questioning eyes, I add, “You’d be surprised what sort of trustworthy fellows you can find scampering about the inns around here.”

Kiran raises his brow, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a coin purse, which he tosses in my direction. “You mean, trustworthy when provided with ample incentive.”

I think the Blaise from just a few days ago would have had a worm gnawing a pit into her stomach right about now.

I think the Blaise from before might have found herself wishing the King of Naenden behaved consistently with the dreadful, murderous rumors spread about him.

But for the past several days, I’ve done nothing but rewrite Nox’s death.

So when the guilt threatens to strike, I tuck it away.

I’ll deal with it later.

Because when we get back to Othian, I’m going to kidnap Kiran’s wife.