I allow my gaze to drop to the floor, and I trace a cluster of fuchsia and turquoise lights with my bare toe. “Nox wasn’t just a prisoner. He was tasked with extracting the parasite from me. By any means possible. We grew to care for each other, but it didn’t start out that way. I wanted to tell you about him. I just thought that because of what you found out, about Derek, I mean…” My throat swells at the mention of the man who stole my childhood. “I thought maybe you’d think I had…” I slam my eyes shut and swallow. “I thought maybe you’d think I’d fallen for someone who hurt me. I wasn’t sure you’d understand that what Nox did, what the queen forced him to do—that he was protecting his sister.”
I flick my gaze back at Evander, still unable to raise my chin. In the corner of my eye, I sense Kiran tense.
Evander’s jaw works, like he’s trying to find something, anything, to say. Eventually he settles on, “I like to think I would have listened. Would have understood.”
The words hang between us, stale as the air in this abandoned ballroom. It’s not the first time I haven’t come to him with the truth. Not the first time I’ve withheld asking my friend for help.
It’s not the last, either, but it’s imperative I convince him otherwise.
So I take a breath and explain. Well, I explain enough, twisting details like wisps of hair rearranged to hide the bald spots in my story. I tell Evander and Kiran that I came to Othian intent on killing Queen Abra, but that when I arrived, she was already gone. That I’d waltzed into the castle only to find she’d decided to punish my leaving by placing Nox and his sister into a magical slumber, probably with some potion she concocted.
I lie, and I sprinkle the lies with truth, and I do it so seamlessly, neither Kiran nor Evander questions my story all that much, except that Kiran asks why the castle is all but abandoned.
Thankfully, I’m able to tell him the truth, that I frightened all the servants away.
Kiran nods, and to my surprise, squeezes my shoulder. Where his rough fingers brush my neck, a splash of comfort washes over me. It fades as soon as he draws away his hand, but I’m grateful for it all the same. Why Kiran has trusted me with his secret power, his ability to manipulate emotions through touch, I’m not sure.
He really shouldn’t.
“I suppose you’ll want us to arrange transport for them back to Othian,” Kiran says, nodding toward Nox and Zora, “until we can apprehend Abra and force her to wake them.”
I can’t allow Nox and Zora to reside under the supervision of Kiran’s guards.
“Actually, I believe I know someone who can move them,” I say, and when Kiran and Evander look at me with questioning eyes, I add, “You’d be surprised what sort of trustworthy fellows you can find scampering about the inns around here.”
Kiran raises his brow, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a coin purse, which he tosses in my direction. “You mean, trustworthy when provided with ample incentive.”
I think the Blaise from just a few days ago would have had a worm gnawing a pit into her stomach right about now.
I think the Blaise from before might have found herself wishing the King of Naenden behaved consistently with the dreadful, murderous rumors spread about him.
But for the past several days, I’ve done nothing but rewrite Nox’s death.
So when the guilt threatens to strike, I tuck it away.
I’ll deal with it later.
Because when we get back to Othian, I’m going to kidnap Kiran’s wife.
And then I’m going to make her open the Rip.
PART I
LOST
CHAPTER 1
BLAISE
I’ve spent over two months cooped up with the male whose life I intend to destroy.
Evander’s been here too, though none the wiser.
We meant to set out for Othian, to rejoin Asha and Ellie, the day after Kiran and Evander arrived at the castle.
The blizzard had other plans.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s a sign from the Fates, the extension of a deadline, a plea for me to reconsider.
If it is, I’m not listening.
I’ve spent the past months reweaving Nox’s story, keeping him from deaths that sometimes occur so suddenly, so cleverly within the Fabric, I don’t always see them coming.
I fear the Fabric will outsmart me one of these days.
But the storms have finally subsided, the path between the mountains cleared as the snow melts away, leaving behind a sickly sludge.
We leave for Othian tomorrow.
As I stand at the abandoned wall on the west side of Ermengarde castle, hidden from view of the windows, Kiran’s bag of coins pulls at the inside of my back pocket, weighing my coat down and dragging at my collar. Like it’s going to cut off the circulation to my throat.
I haven’t figured out what to do with it. Not when I’m not actually hiring anyone to take care of Nox’s and Zora’s bodies.
Well, I suppose I am hiring someone. It’s just that his price isn’t money.
Kiran and Evander think I’m going with them to hunt for Abra. They think Abra is the only one who can bring Nox back.
I can’t remember if I’m the one who planted that lie, or if I just allowed them to assume.
