Rita took the letter from me and read it silently. One tear grew to dozens that soaked her cheeks. “So much unnecessary pain. So much time wasted. I’m angry and frustrated and sad. I loved my mother very much. She took that away from me, too. I don’t know how to process all this. How to feel.”
I nodded. “It took me a while. I’ve been over that box time and again, trying to sort out the enigma of Grammy. I was furious with her at first, but then I began to understand her. She’s a product of what she’s been through. Her strict parents, her deceitful ex, her fierce love of you and the lengths she went to keep it. She was lonely and afraid she would have nothing left without you.”
“It didn’t have to be that way. She could have had all of us. If only she had talked to me about how she was feeling instead of giving me ultimatums and cutting me off.” Rita shook her head sadly.
“One good thing came of all this.” Tabatha looked at us both. “We’re a family again. I have my sister back and closure about Grammy. I can live with that.”
“You’re right.” Rita dried her tears and nodded. “I’ve always felt there is no good that comes from dwelling on old hurts from the past. Sometimes we just have to let that go. The only way to true happiness is to focus on the future. Manifest what you want to happen and move forward, not back.”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” I said firmly, thinking of Matt.
“Are you?” Tabatha asked.
“Yes, why do you doubt that?” I frowned.
She shrugged. “I might be overstepping my bounds, given how we just rekindled our relationship, so you might not want to hear this.”
“Please, be candid with me. I’m tired of people tiptoeing around my feelings or not being honest with me. Say what you have to say. I won’t get mad.”
“I think you’re so focused on your past that you won’t give Matt a chance to be in your future. Don’t let Bud take anything else from you.”
“What does Bud have to do with this?” The first seed of doubt settled deep into my gut, telling me I might have overreacted with Matt.
“Let’s just say I’m finally putting myself out there. I spent the evening with Police Chief LaLone, and I heard the call come in over his radio. Bud broke into McGinny’s Pub and stole money while his new girlfriend was setting up a space heater in his back room.”
My face paled. “How did I not hear this?”
“You were in the hospital, dear,” Rita said.
“That must have been what he was trying to explain to him when I said it didn’t matter why he left me, and then I made him leave my room.” How had I misjudged him so unfairly? Because like Grammy I had been trained to assume the worst rather than give the benefit of doubt and be let down.
“Matt’s secret alarm went off, and he got to his pub just in time to put the fire out,” Tabatha went on. “He has Bud and his girl on security footage, but they got away with the day’s cash before they could be caught. Matt spent hours working with Officer Pickles on filing a report. As soon as they find Bud, he will get exactly what he deserves. He won’t see the light of day for years to come.”
“And he won’t be after your money anymore,” Rita added firmly. “Matt’s private investigator is a friend of your father’s. He has enough footage proving Bud is a fraud and has no physical limitations whatsoever.”
“What am I going to do?” I asked. “I’ve made such a mess of things.”
“Talk to him. Tell him how you feel.” Rita hugged me. “Honesty is always the best policy, and Tabatha is right. We’ve all wasted far too much time.”
“After everything I said, I’m not sure Matt will want to talk to me.”
“Here’s an idea. Grammy was on to something, she just waited far too long to execute it.” Tabatha grabbed a pad of paper and pen from the kitchen counter and handed them to me. “Write him a note and leave it in his room. He can read it when he gets back. It’s actually kind of romantic.”
I nodded. “That I can do. I journal all the time. I’ll just pretend that’s what I’m doing. Thank you both again so much. If you don’t mind, I would like to be alone with my thoughts so I can write this before he gets back this evening.”
“Good luck, sweetheart.” Rita kissed my cheek. “You know where we are if you need us.”
Tabatha hugged me. “Call Mom if you need anything. I have a second date.” She winked. We all laughed, and then they left.
I spent the next thirty minutes writing down everything I felt. My hopes, my fears, my love for him. How I wanted it all and was going to tell him that morning, but then the unthinkable happened. I went into early labor and panicked then blamed everything on him, terrified he didn’t love me back and wanting to be the one to push him away first.
I glanced at the clock. I’d only told him to give me a few hours. He would be home soon, and this would be the first I had seen him in the week since I was in the hospital. Inhaling a deep breath, I headed down the hall to his bedroom. With shaking hands, I opened his door and stepped inside. My jaw fell open. Matt wasn’t just gone…
He had moved out.
Chapter Twenty-One
Another week later, it was girls’ night at my ranch, mostly because the girls didn’t want me going anywhere. They also wouldn’t let me cook. They showed up with a sub tray, chips, fruit bowl, vegetable tray, and drinks. We brought the party to my living room and enormous sectional couch so I could put my feet up.
“I feel like such a slacker.” I sipped club soda. It was the only thing that settled my stomach.
Now that I was in the last trimester, I could only eat small amounts, so I was hungry all the time. Indigestion and heartburn were real. I barely got anything down and it came right back up. There was literally no room in my stomach from the two bear cubs squishing everything. Don’t even get me started on my bladder. Every time I stood, I had to go.
“You’re not supposed to do anything but rest, hon. Doctor’s orders, remember?” Zoe took my nearly full plate from me and set it on an end table.
“How could I forget.” I sighed.
“I’m glad you made up with your mom and sister.” Morticia sipped her diet cola. “I’d give anything to talk to my mother again. Can’t exactly talk to my father about his new girlfriend who’s my age, and I don’t have a sister.”
“You have us, babe.” Harmony patted her on the back.
“I know, and I love you girls.” Morti shrugged. “It just would be nice to have more family. Or create my own.”
“It is nice,” I said. “I have to admit, I’m getting excited for the boys to arrive. Terrified, but excited.”
“Speaking of the boys…how are things with Matt?” Zoe sipped her chardonnay, studying me carefully.
“Not good.” I stirred the straw around the lime in my club soda. “I can’t believe he moved out. Like without even talking about it. It doesn’t make sense. That’s totally out of character for him.”
