Rita was all I had.
Charlie took her from me, and I hated him for it. He couldn’t provide for her like I could, but she didn’t care. She loved him. I was jealous. I forced her to choose whom she loved more, and she chose him. I shouldn’t have done that. I married your grandfather for love and would have done anything for him back then, but he was cold and heartless. It made me bitter. I didn’t trust men and didn’t want my angel to go through what I did when Charlie left her.
I was so sure he would, but he never did.
So, I cut her off.
When they had twins, they couldn’t afford it. I’m not proud of my actions, but I saw that as my chance to get my Rita back…or some version of her. The moment I saw you and your sister, I couldn’t believe how much you looked like my own daughter…the daughter I had thought I’d lost forever. The first second your eyes met mine when I picked you up, you looked straight into my soul. We shared a look like the one in the picture of me holding my Rita, and I knew I had to have you if only for a little while.
I offered to take you until Rita and Charlie could afford to raise you both. Neither one of them wanted to, but they had no choice. I had good intentions at first, I promise. But the longer I raised you, the harder it got to let you go. You were all I had left, and…
It was like my Rita had come back to me.
Over the years, your parents tried to come back for you, but they didn’t have the money or lawyers like I did. I felt guilty, so I helped them anonymously. I know it wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to share your love with anyone.
Not again.
I realize now that was wrong. Here I am leaving you alone with no family left. I know you said you would never remarry or have children, so I worry about you and hope you change your mind someday.
Children are the greatest gift of all.
I know you’re probably angry at me, and I don’t blame you one bit. Please forgive me for loving you too much. I was too stubborn to make amends with my angel, but it’s not too late for you. My parting gift is giving you back the family I took from you. The choice is yours on whether you let them in or not. Be careful, my darling.
Don’t wind up a stubborn, bitter, lonely old woman with regrets like me.
Love,
Grammy
Matt walked through the door with to-go boxes in his hands and a big smile on his face. “I brought Thanksgiving dinner to ye, lass. I hope ye are—”
I burst into tears.
He quickly set the containers down and rushed over to me. “What’s wrong?” He ran his hands over my hair and face and body, looking for anything amiss.
My heart was breaking, and an important piece had died a little tonight. I couldn’t breathe. How could my grandmother have done that to me? My entire life had been a lie. And now that I was pregnant with twins of my own, I couldn’t imagine anyone taking one of them from me.
I cried harder and buried my face into Matt’s chest.
“Come, now, love. Yer breaking me heart.” He kept running his hands up and down my back, soothingly. “What can I do to help?”
I leaned back and looked up at him with tears streaming down my face. No words were necessary. He lowered his head to mine until our lips touched. It was tender and sweet and comforting. I needed him.
Anything to stop the thoughts that were tormenting me.
He seemed to sense what I needed as he gently scooped me into his arms as if I weighed nothing and carried me down the hall to my bedroom. He laid me carefully on the bed, kissing my face and neck as he undressed me with ease.
I opened my eyes and hesitated, feeling insecure for the first time in my life. But then I saw the look in his sizzling blue eyes as he worshipped every inch of me.
“You’re absolutely breathtaking,” he said with a deep, husky rumble as he laid both palms on the sides of my belly.
I covered his hands with my own, suddenly not embarrassed anymore. He made me feel like a goddess. “Matt, please…”
Suddenly, his hands and mouth and tongue were everywhere at once, leaving me with no thoughts but pleasure. I tipped my head back, my eyelids fluttered closed as I orgasmed, my body seizing with delicious aftershocks. I felt him roll me onto my side, then slide into bed behind me. Spooning me, he ran his hands over my breasts, lightly pinching my sensitive nipples, and I felt myself stirring once more.
Running his palm over my stomach in a gentle caress, he kept going until he reached the apex of my thighs. He lifted my leg up over his and slid deep inside me from behind while his fingers rounded my hip and parted my folds until he found the nub of my desire. He tweaked, pressed, and made circular motions to the rhythm of his thrusts until I was squirming and moaning and crying out his name in ecstasy.
We stayed connected as he pulled the covers up over us then wrapped his arm around me with his hand cradling my belly. Maybe Bitsy was right. Maybe things could be different. Maybe I really could have it all. That was the last thought that drifted through my mind as I fell into a deep, calm, blissful, restorative sleep….
Until it wasn’t.
Chapter Twenty
Igasped and sat straight up in bed naked, cold…alone.
Pain sliced through my belly, stealing my breath. It felt like I was being sliced in two. “Matt!” I screamed when I could finally breathe again.
Silence.
I began to cry. Where was he?
I scooted toward the edge of the bed when my leg brushed something wet. Oh, God, did my water break? No, no, no…it was too soon. With shaking hands, I lifted the sheet and cried out over what I saw.
Blood.
Another pain tore through me. I screamed Matt’s name again as loud as I could. Still nothing. He’d left me, just like I knew he would. I needed him, and he was gone. The moment I’d let down my walls and welcomed him into my arms, he didn’t want me anymore. I had dared to believe that for once, I was enough.
This rejection hurt the worst.
