Socialization Around Male Dominance
Many boys are taught that they should strive for dominance over their female counterparts, a belief that often carries into adulthood. This mindset is grounded in antiquated ideals like the need for women to abdicate the inherent power granted by increased education and financial independence. If women are no longer opting to stay in relationships where they have less power than their partners, this goes against the patriarchal dynamic that requires them to abdicate their power in order to be seen as attractive.
The False Narrative of Femininity and Submission
Have you ever noticed that the idea of femininity is often equated with submissiveness? It’s an insidious assumption that keeps getting perpetuated in our culture, from the movies we watch to the music we listen to. This false narrative has led to an unbalanced power dynamic between men and women, in which the man has all the power and the woman is expected to be a doormat. In reality, women can assert their femininity without having to submit themselves to men.
Let’s talk about why these notions of femininity and submission are so harmful.
The Myth of Submissive Femininity
Conflating femininity with submission sends a message that women should be pleasing, passive, and accommodating in order for men to find them attractive. This message gets internalized by many women—and some men—and it leads to a skewed understanding of healthy relating. They think that in order for a relationship to work, one partner must always be submissive, which means one partner will always have more power than the other.
This goes against what true partnership should look like: a balanced exchange where both partners are on equal footing and recognize each other’s needs. When there are unequal power dynamics present in a relationship, it creates an unhealthy environment where one partner feels entitled or superior. That kind of imbalance can lead to manipulation or even abuse—all because people have been conditioned into believing that submission is synonymous with being feminine.
The Need for True Partnership
True partnership requires a healthy exchange between two equals who respect each other’s boundaries, needs, and wants, while also recognizing each other’s strengths and weaknesses. This is one reason why diverse representation of women matters, particularly in the media. By seeing more strong female protagonists—women who are assertive, independent, and empowered without sacrificing their femininity or themselves at the altar of male dominance—we can start changing the false narrative around femininity once and for all!
True partnership cannot exist when there is an unbalanced power dynamic at play; a relationship in which one person holds all the cards while another person just plays along as if they don’t matter. Yet, the idea that women must be submissive in order for them to hold any form of appeal or value toward men still persists, as does the belief that without submission, women won’t progress in their personal or professional lives.
This could not be further from the truth.
Women can embrace their feminine side without having to sacrifice their autonomy or self-respect in doing so; they can remain strong and independent while still being seen as beautiful and desirable partners by men who understand that true partnership exists when both sides are on equal footing with love, instead of being led by fear. Women deserve partners who can see, hear, and honor their emotional needs.
Having an emotionally intelligent partner is essential for sustaining a long-term relationship filled with trust and understanding. Not only does emotional intelligence allow both partners to understand one another’s feelings better, but it also encourages healthy dynamics between them by emphasizing mutual respect and support over contention or resentment. Ultimately, this type of partnership benefits both parties equally by creating strong connections that last through thick and thin.
Understanding Emotional Needs
It’s important to find a partner who not only understands how you feel but can recognize when you are experiencing certain feelings. This requires an emotionally intelligent partner who has the ability to empathize with your perspective and recognize what you need in order to feel heard, respected, and safe. This type of partnership creates a sense of safety and security that helps foster trust and intimacy between the two of you.
Prioritizing Healthy Relationships
Having an emotionally intelligent partner means being with someone who prioritizes healthy relationships. This means that they will not only be aware of their own feelings but will also be conscious about how their behavior affects yours, and how it impacts the dynamic between the two of you. Instead of reacting impulsively or avoiding responsibility for their actions, an emotionally intelligent partner will take ownership over their behavior and strive to make amends if necessary.
A healthy relationship is one where both parties have equal footing—one where each person’s individual needs are respected so that both can get what they need from the relationship without sacrificing too much on either side. By prioritizing healthy relationships, partners are able to create strong connections filled with mutual support and respect rather than contention or resentment. These types of partnerships tend to stand the test of time, because at their core is genuine care for one another.
What Needs to Change?
What we are seeing here is a deep-seated fear on the part of some men—and women—of engaging in balanced partnerships where both parties feel supported and seen for who they are without judgment or criticism. For some, this wasn’t modeled in their homes growing up, and as such, they have no experience with it as adults.
This fear is often shrouded by cultural expectations around gender roles that lead women, especially those struggling with codependency issues, to believe that their value and worth lies solely in pleasing men who have no desire to see them as equals deserving of holistic love and respect. However, when we understand why these fears exist, then we can begin to address them so that everyone involved can benefit from healthier relationships built on mutual understanding and respect rather than control and manipulation.
The Need for Control
At its core, this fear of an equal partnership is rooted in the need for control. Men who are afraid of being vulnerable often feel as though they need to be in control of the relationship and their partner’s actions in order to feel safe. This can manifest in different ways, such as controlling behavior, manipulation, or emotional abuse. It can also look like an unwillingness to engage with their partner’s feelings or concerns, and an overall lack of empathy.
The Fear of Vulnerability
Behind these behaviors lies a deeper fear—the fear of vulnerability. When someone has been hurt before, either during childhood or in past relationships, they may be scared to open themselves up and risk being hurt again. They may also be afraid that if they let go of the control they have over their relationships, something bad will happen and they won’t be able to protect themselves or their partner from harm. As a result, they cling to power and control as a way of protecting themselves from potential pain.
If we want to meaningfully change the culture of male disinterest in female success, then we need both genders to work together toward greater understanding and empathy. Men must recognize their own biases while also learning how they can better support their partners’ successes instead of viewing them as threats. Similarly, women must learn how to communicate effectively with their partners so that those conversations don’t become confrontational or hostile. With both sides putting forth effort toward understanding one another more deeply, we can move closer toward creating relationships based on true equality.
Codependency Issues and Low Self-Esteem
Cultural gender dynamics can be especially damaging when there are also codependency issues at play. In codependent relationships, one person may define their worth and value through another person—namely their partner. When gender expectations are added to this mix, we can end up defining our worth based on someone who has no interest in seeing us holistically as an equal emotional partner. This dynamic leads to feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem, creating an even greater sense of insecurity that can lead us back into patterns of imbalanced power dynamics out of necessity rather than choice.
Ultimately, what needs to change in these codependent relationships isn’t just male insecurity around female success—it’s also the unwillingness to accept an equal relationship where both parties bring something other than money or sex to the equation. By recognizing our own biases while also seeking out ways we can better support each other’s successes, we can create healthier relationships based on mutual respect and understanding between both genders. It’s time for us all—men included—to step up and make sure no one feels left behind in our pursuit of true equality within our society today!
The Power of Financial Independence
Financial independence is a key factor for many successful relationships because it helps couples maintain trust and equality within their relationship dynamics. When both partners have access to their own resources, couples tend to feel more secure in their relationship and empowered to make decisions without fear or pressure from their partner. It also makes it easier for couples to share responsibilities without feeling burdened by one partner’s financial obligations over another’s; when both people have financial independence, they can work together as equal partners toward common goals instead of competing against each other for resources.
The Reality Behind “Traditional” Gender Roles
At its core, the myth of male disinterest in female success is just another way for society to keep women in traditional gender roles—roles that allow men to maintain control over their relationships while keeping women powerless and without options. In actuality, these kinds of gender roles are outdated and do not reflect the reality between modern couples; successful relationships are formed when either partner is free to pursue their own interests while also supporting the other’s goals.
Women should never feel like they need to sacrifice their career aspirations or financial independence in order to find love or attraction from potential partners; rather than believing the myth that men don’t care about female success, recognize it for what it truly is—a tool to keep women dependent on men so they won’t have any power or options outside of traditional gender roles. By understanding how this myth works and refusing to subscribe to its message, we can challenge outdated beliefs around gender roles and help create space for healthier relationships between genders going forward.
FREEING OURSELVES FROM THE TRAP OF “THE ONE”
We all have this dream of finding that special someone who will love and support us, and make our lives complete. But here’s the thing: life is so much more than just searching for “the one.” It’s about having a circle of healthy and loving relationships that bring joy and meaning to our lives. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is to love ourselves, embrace our worth, and be content in our own skin.
By doing this, we open ourselves up to finding true love and authentic connections—while also learning to be happy with ourselves outside of them.
As you learn how to thrive, you’ll let go of any expectations you have about finding the one and focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
Codependency can put us in a trap of believing that we need to find the one, a soulmate, or a perfect partner to make us feel complete and happy. This can lead to unhealthy relationships with people who don’t have our best interests in mind. To free ourselves from this trap and have healthier relationships, we must first accept that we are enough and shift our focus away from finding the one.
