“I can’t believe Brody said those things to him,” I admitted for the first time.
“I can.” Lex acknowledged, “Only because it’s something I’d say, and I’m pretty stupid like Brody sometimes.”
“You’re not. And either is he.” I stood up in a huff, “I have to do something!”
“Oh, perfect,” Rey said, walking into the room. “Because I know just what you can do to calm your idle hands.”
“What?” I speculated, already not liking the sounds of whatever she had planned. Even as my best friend, Reyna’s enthusiasm was a little much sometimes.
“You can go shower,” She picked up a limp piece of hair that hung off my head. “Because you smell.”
“Ugh!” I flapped my arms exasperatedly, “It doesn’t matter if Knox isn’t here!”
“Well, he’s on his way home, so it does matter.” She put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips.
“What?” I whispered, too afraid to say it out loud for fear she’d say she was joking.
Reyna nodded her head confidently, “Parker found him at a boondocking campsite out in bumfuck-nowhere. He was searching for solitude and found it so well that his bike battery died two mornings ago and he’s just been sitting there since.”
“Oh, my god.” I cried with tears in my eyes. “He’s okay?” I grabbed Lex’s hand, and she squeezed it back, just as relieved as I was.
“He’s okay.” Reyna confirmed, “Parker’s driving him home right now.” She rolled her eyes. “I told Dallin, but he agreed not to tell Brody just yet. We thought it was best to have some time here with you before Brody showed up.”
I nodded, understanding their thought but also eager to relieve some of the stress on Brody’s shoulders. “I get it. Thank you.”
“No problem.” Rey smiled sweetly and then rounded her eyes when I stayed put, “No seriously, you smell. Shower!” She pointed to the stairs and gave me a loving shove.
“Okay!” I scowled at her goodheartedly even though I was still on edge, knowing that Knox was safe and on his way home to me, relieved so much worry.
We could work through whatever we needed to as a group. As long as he was home and safe, we’d make it all work. We had to make it all work.
Chapter 27 – Knox
The sun was dipping again over the top of the tree line as I watched it, mesmerized by how no matter what happened, it rose and fell on its own, without fail.
My life was upside down and inside out, yet the sun didn’t care.
The world did not care.
I found a rural campsite that I’d heard about, a couple of hours outside of the city limits, and pulled in the other night. I did not know why, but it felt right.
It felt like the right kind of place to just—disappear. Somewhere no one would know where to find me.
Where I couldn’t disappoint anyone.
Or love them.
Brody’s words echoed through my head nonstop. It was haunting to hear his truth after all the years spent telling me lies.
And Hannah.
God, how I missed her. I could feel her heartache in my chest the longer I sat in the desolate wilderness. It wasn’t fair to leave her as I did, but I wasn’t capable of tending to her feelings and needs when it felt like my entire life had been a giant lie.
Made up like a make-believe story meant to make you feel better about something.
I couldn’t see up through the fog lingering around my shoulders, and I was afraid I’d be lost to it forever.
Just when things started getting really good, too.
Lex had been the whirlwind of everything I didn’t realize we were missing until she showed up and knocked us on our asses. Of course, it was Hannah to notice something in her we needed.
But it ended before it even had a chance to feel real.
She was done.
She didn’t want me. She wanted to heal her pain, and I wasn’t the right man for the job, like I thought I was.
Brody had been right because I wasn’t cautious or considerate of others when it came down to it. I was a lover. And a giver and I just wanted everyone to feel as loved as I felt.
Past tense.
But I couldn’t even do that right.
Would Hannah and Brody continue with Lex, with me out of the picture? Would she want to be a part of the relationship if it was just the two of them?
Shit.
I didn’t even want to be a part of the relationship if it was just the two of them.
