Not if I was the problem.
I laid back in the grass and felt that overwhelming sense of calm, and nothingness lay over my body like a blanket. I knew I wasn’t very far from that light at the end of the tunnel hitting me in the face like a train, yet I couldn’t see a way out.
I lay there, watching the sky turn from orange to red, then to purple as inky black infiltrated it. The stars were just starting to shine through the light pollution when I heard the crunch of tires on the gravel trail across the meadow on the other side of the tree line.
I parked my bike in the trees where it died almost two days ago. In theory, I knew I should have sat up and called out to make myself known, just in case it was a large truck towing a camper that wasn’t expecting to come across a person lying in the tall grass.
But maybe that was why I didn’t move at all.
I watched the stars above as headlights shone over the meadow like a lighthouse beacon flashing over the darkness as it turned around the corner and aimed for the abandoned campsite.
The engine turned off, and I closed my eyes, hating that I was going to have to admit my defeats and weaknesses to some stranger when they stumbled upon me.
Suddenly, a familiar voice broke the silence, calling out from the side of the truck across the space. “Knox!”
“Fuck.” I groaned, contemplating what I was going to do.
“Knox!” Parker yelled out louder, cupping his mouth to make his voice drift further.
“You’re scaring away my friends, shut up!” I yelled back, still unmoving.
“Fucking hell!” He yelled louder, “Where are you?”
I raised one arm into the air above the tall grass, waving my hand lifelessly before dropping it back to my stomach as he ran across the meadow.
“Jesus, Knox.” He skidded to a stop, shining a flashlight in my face. “Are you okay? What the fuck are you doing?”
“Talking to all of my friends,” I motioned to the obnoxious chatter of the crickets and nightlife waking up around us, before throwing one arm over my face to block out his flashlight, “What does it look like?”
He kicked my leg and huffed, “Do you have any idea how fucking scared everyone is? Or how many people are out looking for you right now?”
“Save it, man.” I dropped my arm and looked back up at the sky, “I can’t take more right now.”
As he walked away, my heart stuttered in my chest, thinking he might drive off and leave me to the wild animals that got a little too close for comfort the last two nights.
But the lights from his truck turned off and moments later, he walked back over and sat down next to me in the grass.
“Okay,” He patted my chest, “Talk to me.”
I scoffed, but it was barely audible; I had no energy left to even be sarcastic. What a shame.
“When was the last time you ate or drank?” He looked down at me pitifully.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “I think I stopped pissing this morning. Or maybe last night.”
“Jesus man.” He cried out and stomped back to his truck once again. This time, when he returned, a bottle of water and three protein bars landed on my stomach.
“Oof.” I groaned, curling from the impact.
“Drink first, then eat.” He threw himself back down on the grass. “Or I’ll hold you down and shove it all down your fucking throat.”
“I didn’t know you were so bossy.”
“Yeah well,” He looked off over the empty dark meadow, “I’ve never come so close to losing a friend before.” I waved him off, but he aimed his finger at my face as I fought to find the energy to sit upright. “You could have died out here.” He looked around, “Didn’t you read the article about the hiker being mauled by a bear out here just like two weeks ago? I’m pretty sure Hannah wrote it!”
“Can’t say as I did.” I finally got up to my ass, and the world spun faster than normal and I fell over the other side of upright and landed in the grass. “Fuck.”
He grabbed me and sat me back up like I was a blade of grass. “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to nurse you back to life and then I’m going to kill you for getting yourself in such trouble.”
“Hmm.” I hummed as I opened the bottle of water and chugged it. Fuck, I was thirsty. “Fair enough.”
He watched me out of the corner of his eye while I attacked first one bar and then another. Okay, fine, I was apparently starving.
I mumbled, “Thank you.”
“What exactly was your plan here?” He nodded to the surrounding isolation.
“Well, to be honest.” I took another long drink of the water. “I wasn’t running on a plan. And then my bike died. And the whole idea of no cell phone reception sounded better when I had an exit strategy.” I shrugged and pointed over to my Harley parked under the canopy of the trees.
“Knox!” He groaned, “Do you have any idea how lucky you are that I found you?”
“How did you manage that, exactly?”
He grunted and rubbed his hand over his face, “You talked about wanting to check this place out a few weeks ago. When we exhausted every other option, we had to think outside of the box.”
“We?” I questioned, thinking straighter, with some sugar in my bloodstream again.
He looked over his arm at me, “Did you really think he wouldn’t look for you?”
