After Devon grabbed some puffs to munch on, she offered the snack to me, but I shook my head.
“No thanks. I just ate.” I tried not to show my disgust for the processed junk that was trying to be passed off as food.
“More for us.” Sonya yanked it into her lap and crunched on a few more before throwing one in the air for Devon to catch in her mouth, which she did not, and it rolled onto the floor.
“Don’t worry, Flo will get it.” Sonya laughed, and I wondered if she had hired a maid.
Just then, she called to her home assistant, “Start Flo Slut,” and a robot vacuum wheeled into the room.
“You named your vacuum, floor slut?” I stared at her disbelievingly, although I wasn’t sure why I was surprised—she was twenty-nine going on thirteen.
“What? I call it like I see it. She picks up all my sloppy seconds.” She laughed so hard that she stood up, crossing her legs. “Oh my god. I have to pee.” Instead of walking toward the bathroom, she danced around like a toddler.
“Why don’t you go then?” I asked, stating the obvious, and she appeared dumbfounded.
“Gross. I’m not going to piss my pants—again.” She threw her head back as she roared, but finally took off to relieve herself.
“Obviously, I didn’t mean she should go in her pants.” I turned to Devon, who shrugged, and I wasn’t sure why I bothered explaining myself.
“So, how goes the hunt?” Devon never made much sense, and this was no exception.
I was a vegetarian, so I was clueless as to what she was on about, but I found with her that it was better to play along than ask for clarification because it would inevitably leave me more confused.
“It’s on point.” That seemed to be the right amount of vague.
“Yeah? Well…” She turned toward the bathroom before continuing. “We helped.” She beamed, and my stomach sank.
I didn’t know what that meant, but it couldn’t have been good. The two Tweedles had no idea what would benefit me, so that was the first clue I was in trouble.
“Please don’t do anything. You know I don’t like to ask for help.” Maybe she could take it back, and no harm would come my way.
“Don’t be silly. You didn’t have to ask. We wanted to do this.” Devon appeared proud as a peacock while Sonya strolled in, smiling.
“What did we want to do?” she asked as she sat beside me.
“You know.” Devon eyed her, and then an understanding gaze crossed her face.
“You told her? I thought it was going to be a surprise!” Sonya seemed annoyed, but no one could be more aggravated than me.
“She didn’t tell me anything, but someone better start talking!” I surprised everyone, including myself, with my harsh tone. I never raised my voice, especially not at Sonya, because I still had an inferiority complex around her. But this had pushed me over the edge.
“With anger issues like that, I guess you do need our help.” Sonya tsked, and Devon nodded in agreement.
I took a relaxing breath and tried to calm the rage bubbling inside my soul. “Please, just tell me what is going on.” I stared pleadingly into Sonya’s blue eyes, which were as empty as a crystal ball.
“I don’t think we should tell you.” She crossed her arms defiantly, and I fought my urge to scream.
“So, I’m just supposed to guess what this ‘help’ is?” This was worse than I could’ve imagined. How was I supposed to live my life when I would be in constant fear of how they interfered?
“You’ll know when you know.” Sonya glared at me smugly, and I turned to Devon to see if she would give anything away, but she appeared as confused as me.
“Fine.” I stood up. “I’m heading out. I have things to do.”
“You’re still doing your Sunday ritual tomorrow, right?” Sonya inquired, and my alarm bells began ringing.
“What do you mean by that?” Sure, I was predictable and adhered to a routine on the weekends, but I needed to know what part she was referring to.
“You know, your crossword at Java Jive around ten.” This had to be where their “help” would go down, right?
“I’m not sure. Will I be left with an unwanted surprise there?” I didn’t want to be skeptical of my favorite place, but I would be on guard until I figured out what they had done.
“No. I was making sure I didn’t bump into you. I have a date, and I don’t need you crashing it.”
“Oh my god. Can you let that go? One time, I inadvertently joined you on a date, but once I figured it out, I bolted it.”
“Yeah, but not before you ordered an appetizer, which caused her to have an allergic reaction because they fried the pickles in peanut oil since you’re a vegetarian.” She said that as if it were a dirty word.
“Well, I’m sorry. No one told her to eat them. Besides, that worked out in your favor, and you ended up dating for a few months after that.” I wished I could raise one eyebrow like the Rock, but my face never cooperated, so I narrowed my gaze instead.
“Don’t act like you had anything to do with that. I landed her on my own. And sure, we were together for a while after that, but we didn’t date. She was so scared of eating something that would make her sick that we never left the house—which is why we ended.” She cocked her head and glared.
I sighed. I should have seen this topic change coming. Any time Sonya didn’t want to fess up to something, she would turn things around to deflect. I wondered if she was aware she did it or if it happened naturally. Either way, I wasn’t getting anywhere in this conversation, so I needed to go.
“On that note, I’m leaving. Please don’t make any decisions for me while I’m gone.” That warning was too late, but hopefully, it would deter them from doing something else in my “favor.”
“Love you, cuz!” Sonya ignored my request, and I walked out, realizing my life was probably about to take a turn for the worse.
Chapter 3Caz
