“You can’t do that. Your audience will miss you,” Sonya called out from the side, and Shiloh stared at me with puppy-dog eyes as if asking if it was true.
“It doesn’t matter. I only agreed to do it for Short—Shiloh, but if she doesn’t want to, then the gig is up. There will be a vote for something else next week.” It was weird to say that because I’d been doing this show for a decade and never missed a week.
And, to be honest, I couldn’t afford to miss a week. As much success as I had, I still had bills on top of bills from years of being careless and letting someone else dictate my finances.
“I don’t want to upset anyone.” Shiloh’s voice was small, like it had been at the coffee shop.
I hated seeing her shrink down like that. “Fuck that. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. Who cares about everyone else? You shouldn’t put your boundaries at risk to please others.” I was unsure why I was now trying to talk her out of it, but I wouldn’t put anyone in an uncomfortable situation for money’s sake.
“See, this is why you need her. She can help you be assertive.” Sonya stepped back into view. “I want you to help Shy grow a pair and then help her use them to get lai—”
“Will you stop?” Shiloh shook her head while closing her eyes, and I wanted to save her from embarrassment.
“Do you want to talk privately?” Even if Sonya meant well, she was making this painful.
“I don’t know.” Shiloh shrugged, and Sonya jumped in.
“She does. I’ll text you her sch—” Shiloh pushed her away to shut her up.
“Will tomorrow work for you?” Her gaze locked with mine, and I sensed a hidden strength inside her.
“Yes, why don’t you give me your number, and we can work out the details?” It was time to cut out the middleman and figure out what we would do.
I wasn't sure how I found myself on this ride, but strangely enough, I wasn't upset about it.
Chapter 6Shiloh
It aggravated me when I first learned that Sonya and Devon interfered with my life, but I had been texting with Caz for the last two hours, and it was nice. I had never had a close friend before. I wasn’t saying that was what we were. But having someone other than family to talk to was a welcomed change.
Caz was opposite me in many ways, but she also seemed like a kindred spirit in others. She was bold but reserved. It was a weird combination, but it worked for her, and I hoped I could learn to be more like that. I didn’t want to be exactly like her because my personality wouldn’t allow me to be that firm, but if I could get a smidgen of her confidence, I would be happy.
Caz: I know most of the basic stuff about you, but what exactly are you looking for in someone else?
Sometimes, our conversation felt like a questionnaire for a dating app, but during our casual chat, it felt like a real friendship could form. But I was still keeping my guard up because this was a job for her, and I didn’t know if she felt the same vibe I did.
Me: I don’t have a type.
That wasn’t technically a lie. I definitely had someone in mind who was the epitome of perfection in my eyes.
Caz: That’s bullshit. Everyone has something they want. Even if it’s not looks, something attracts you to another person. If you won’t tell me, I can’t help you. I don’t care if it’s some weird fetish. This is a no-judgment zone.
It was that directness that I wished would rub off on me.
Me: I don’t have a weird fetish. I like who I like.
Caz: Okay. So who is that? I’m going to be honest. The only thing I know about men is how to repel them. So I might not be very helpful to you.
It took me a minute to realize what she thought.
Me: What gave you the impression I was after a man?
My style was pretty basic, which didn’t show my queer tendencies, but I figured she would have picked up on that. I could tell right off which team she preferred to bat for.
Caz: So you’re after a woman? That will make my job much easier. I know how to speak tongues. She put the winky eye emoji face with its tongue out.
It reminded me of Sonya. Only when Caz did it I laughed instead of rolling my eyes.
Me: I just want to talk—no tongue necessary.
Caz: Girl, tongue is ALWAYS necessary. But I get it. You take things slow, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I liked how she could be funny but also serious. She seemed to understand me and didn’t make me feel stupid for the way I was. Sometimes, Sonya made fun of me for being reserved. And that was another reason I kept things to myself. I didn’t like to be the butt of jokes all the time.
Me: So, basically, there’s this girl I have my eye on, but I haven’t had an actual conversation with her. Could you help me figure out how to talk to her?
That might have been a challenging task since I wasn't sure if someone could teach social skills. However, Caz's poised and assured demeanor made me hopeful that she could offer me useful opening lines.
Caz: Let’s meet tomorrow, and you can give me more info on this bird. It’s getting late, and my bed is calling me.
I checked the time and realized it was after midnight. This wasn’t like me. I usually stuck to my schedule, which was in bed by 10:00 p.m. But what was ironic was that I wasn’t even tired. I could have talked to her longer if she hadn’t said anything. The conversation flowed, and, for the most part, I was having fun.
Me: Okay. I’ll text you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.
Caz: G’night.
After ending the conversation with Caz, I checked my phone to see I had a string of messages from Sonya. I didn’t want to read through them all, so I fired off a quick response, telling her I would talk to her later. But before I even crawled into bed, my phone rang.
“Hello?” I knew it was her without even checking.
