A stifling sensation creeps through my limbs like poison, pulling me down into the depths of the darkness.
Goodnight, Siara. Sweet dreams.
23
William
Darkness crawls through the silent manor. Shadows lengthen their reach, spreading out across the floor as the sun descends over the horizon. Just a little longer now. It’s been weeks since we first came to the manor and each night, Charlotte’s hold on Siara’s body becomes stronger and consequently her time with me becomes longer. Siara sleeps more deeply now too, giving me considerably more time to walk back to the estate and place her back in the room before the sun rises completely, which in turn allows me to continue the charade for another day.
Charlotte assures me that Siara is none the wiser and that there are no ill effects on her health but I can’t help but feel unsettled. So unsettled that I can barely face Siara during the day on the rare occasion that she is not sleeping into the afternoon, the act of which worsens my concerns. Charlotte is often quick to remind me that the sooner we are able to move on, the quicker Siara regains her body. But that’s the bit that worries me. How long will it take until that happens – a human lifetime or two? Shouldn’t I be feeling some sort of peace by now? And if not peace then, something – anything?
Keeping it from Xander has become increasingly difficult and I can’t expect him to stay unaware for much longer. The boy is sharper than I had predicted. If I’m candid, I thought he wouldn’t notice the changes in the human girl so long as she remained his companion. Children usually don’t care so much of the wear and tear of their toys so long as they are still theirs. Evidently that has turned out to be not the case. What’s worse is that he seems troubled, anxious, glued to her as if warding away evil. I try to ignore the guilt bubbling up in my stomach. Maybe he’s right to do that after all.
As if on cue, Xander paces into the room. He opens cupboards and drawers, fidgeting nervously before noticing my existence and beaming with hopeful eyes.
‘Master, have you seen Siara? Did she come by? It appears she’s not in her room… or any room actually.’
Taking a momentary glance away from my book, I raise a brow. ‘Well, I doubt she would be in there.’ Xander’s bright eyes lose their sparkle. He pouts, closing the doors. He releases a loud puff of air out his nose, possibly annoyed that I’m not taking his claim more seriously. ‘No, I haven’t, Xander, but I’m sure she’s fine.’ White knuckles appear on Xander’s clenched fists.
‘You’re sure she’s fine,’ he echoes, bitterness coating his words. I glance up. Realising his misstep, he takes a few seconds to calm himself. The mucus that had started to emerge filters back into his skin. His hands break loose beside him. ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe she’s fine, Master.’
I know she’s fine. I know because I’m certain she’s not here anymore. By now, Charlotte has taken over and is probably making her way to the clearing, taking the same route she has every night. Xander dawdles over to me, still maintaining a distance between us. ‘There’s something wrong with Siara.’ I still, willing my face to be as unreadable as possible. ‘You’ve noticed it too, right? She’s hearing a voice. She told me yesterday.’
‘Xander, she’s just wanting to go back home. She’s homesick, that’s all. Emotions can do strange things to humans. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m trying to read.’ A sinking nausea pools in my stomach. Why does this not feel right? It’s for the best so why does it feel like I’m doing something wrong?
Xander moves away without a word, expressionless eyes lingering on me before departing. Great. I can’t leave for at least a little while yet. He’s suspicious.
Complete darkness stretches longer than it ever had before; nonetheless, I wait for its cover before I decide to make my move. There’s no point in being rash when Xander’s already wary. I wait by the old greenhouse, listening. No steps behind me.
Moving in the shadows, I make my way to the forest. Crickets chirp and night creatures rustle throughout the now seemingly spectral forest. Irritation clips at my heels. I dislike that I’ve had to make her wait this long. Anticipation and eagerness drive me forward amongst the dense growth. By the time I sense the familiar presence, it’s already too late. ‘Xander, return to the manor. Do not involve yourself in this.’
‘What’s going on?’ he asks, emerging from the camouflage of the mossy tree a few metres ahead. His body peels away, as if breaking apart from the tree itself. I really should have known better. I was too eager. So preoccupied with what was behind me, that I did not think to look ahead. How easy it is for me to forget that he survived, even for a short while, alone in a world of soul-hungry demons before we met. One thing I can never better him with is his ability to get by unnoticed.
Meeting his fierce gaze, I understand there are no pretences.
‘What have you done with her?’ he shouts. We’re too close to the clearing. ‘Siara’s not in her room.’ He watches my face. ‘To be more specific, it feels like she’s not anywhere.’
If he could just understand. ‘I know.’ I take a step towards him. ‘But it’s okay, you don’t have to worry. Xander, it’s fine.’ My gaze is a warning but Xander stares back, unphased. A dull pain rises from my tightly clenched jaw.
The breeze rustles through the trees. Xander’s eyes widen at the familiar scent of the human girl. Quicker off the mark, he sprints ahead before I can react, following the scent through the trees and into the clearing up ahead. By the time I get there, Xander stands rigid in the clearing with Charlotte at the opposite end, smiling uncomfortably.
‘Hello there, froggy boy.’ Her eyes flick to me. ‘You didn’t tell me you were bringing a friend, William?’
Xander glares at her. ‘Is this her?’ he says, breaking the silence.
‘Yes, this is Charlotte,’ I say, ‘the one I’ve – we’ve been searching for. So you understand now, Xander, why you must leave this be.’
The boy refuses to take his eyes off her. The full moon lights up the small clearing of wet grass and purple weeds, illuminating the standoff. ‘No, is it her?’ he whispers, red eyes flicking back over to me. He means Siara. ‘What have you done?’ The green demon steps forward, pointed teeth showing behind his lips. ‘We’re meant to be protecting her. You allowed this?’
My stomach churns. He’s just a child. He doesn’t understand. This is exactly why I didn’t want Xander here, why I didn’t want him to find out. The feeling twists and turns, sliding like sludge through my veins.
‘He didn’t do anything,’ Charlotte says, smiling triumphantly. ‘It was me.’ Xander’s expression morphs into one of desperation, looking to both me and Charlotte, unable to solve the missing piece of this puzzle.
‘Why are you doing this? You need to stop,’ he says. ‘You don’t understand. Siara, she’s – well, something’s happening to her. Every day she’s forgetting things and sometimes she’s not there. It’s like she’s someplace else.’
Charlotte shrugs. ‘That’s because she is someplace else.’
Xander shakes his head, still confused. Charlotte wanders over to a fallen log, clearing twigs and leaves before she sits down, politely.
‘It makes sense, of course. Two souls aren’t meant to be in the same body for long. Naturally, as one soul grows stronger the other grows weaker. This was meant to happen, little demon, so don’t pay it much mind. It was the reason she was born after all. She is fulfilling her destiny. Human feelings are fleeting, they will be sad for a short time of course, but they will move on and the world will keep spinning. Who should know this better than us?’
Charlotte’s voice is amused. To her, the worry from the small demon is unfounded, irrational. Her dismissive tone makes it clear – she does not understand any possible reason he would be worried about the human. Until recently I might have also found it hard to comprehend. But something’s different now.
Xander’s face is pale, no doubt mirroring my own. My lips move before I could stop them.
‘Charlotte, what exactly are you saying? Are you saying that–’
‘Yes, I’m saying that in a few days’ time, this will be my body anyway. Don’t you understand? She was born for this very reason. It’s fate. Her will has almost given up and when that happens, it will be my lovely human body.’ She beams brightly over to me. ‘Isn’t it fantastic? It turned out exactly as planned! We can be together forever just like we promised. Though I have to say I didn’t expect the girl to fight me every step of the way.’
I freeze, unsure of how to react. Xander’s seething glare in my direction is so intense I can feel it without looking. It burns a hole through the space between us. Never has the boy looked at me with such open distaste.
‘You liar. You said Siara was only going to lead us to Charlotte, and then she would go back home. Back to her human life, back to her family. Everything would work out fine. That’s what I agreed to. But this…’ He pauses. ‘This isn’t right. It means the deal we made meant nothing, our word meant nothing. Her life meant nothing. There’s no memories of her in the human realm – if she dies here, that’s it.’
Charlotte shifts, unsettled. ‘Fret not, young frog boy, even small lives have some worth. For instance, I get to exist once again because of the sacrifice this young girl made.’ Charlotte’s voice seems to bring in a chilling bitter silence. Even I am shocked at the coldness of her words. I glance to Xander. What can I even say? That I didn’t know? That this was never my intention? I can’t. Not now. It’s too late.
Charlotte sits poised, the hem of her dress dancing slightly in the soft wind. Mist appears around her ankles. Even in the growing haze, her eyes shine with the same brilliant piercing grey that attracted me to her all those years ago. The thick mist continues to flow out from the forest, swirling around the trees and drifting aimlessly down throughout the clearing. Back then, was she always so uncaring? Such a parallel to the human she inhabits.
‘You old hag,’ Xander mutters through gritted teeth. ‘Give her back.’
