Where is she going? A sinking feeling starts. My feet move by reflex, not fully conscious of my own movements. I manage to reach the frail girl’s forearm in time to pull her away from the edge of the cliff. Her body collapses, our eyes meeting for a second in that moment. Familiar grey eyes transform back to an emerald green, recognition and desperation filling her face as she regains awareness. Those were Charlotte’s eyes.
‘Siara!’ Xander yells from behind me, catching up. The wind howls on the edge of the cliff. Her body is freezing; her drenched hair sticks in curls to her face. Raindrops perch on her eyelashes while dark make-up smears itself under her eyes. I don’t understand. I was just in the other room; how did she get past without us hearing? Her doe eyes echo back my own fear, her heaving breath racing in and out as clouds in the cold air.
‘W-What happened? Why am I here?’
If I hadn’t caught her… if I was just a second later…
Something cold runs through my veins, igniting a simmering rage. ‘What the hell do you think you are doing?’ I snarl, dragging her by the arm away from the cliff’s edge. The rain thunders down, muting our voices with its torrential pour.
‘I don’t know,’ she says, disoriented. I know she doesn’t but I can’t seem to settle my irritation.
‘You’re not useful to me dead,’ I say. I release her arm but she remains dishevelled on the ground. I almost feel compelled to join her but instead, I clear my throat, standing straight. ‘We will stay here tonight. It’s late and it’s clear you are still not feeling well. Pick whatever room you want. Go and clean yourself up.’
Bewildered, her hands investigate the yellow dress, now coated in splotches of thick mud. ‘Why am I wearing this? It’s so tacky.’
That was one of Charlotte’s favourite dresses. A summer dress, worn a few times while we were out together. It does nothing but raise more questions than answers. In the past, Charlotte had occupied one of the rooms upstairs; it’s possible Siara took the dress from there but why would she wear it, and why would it still be there?
Xander takes advantage of the situation and attempts to repair his fractured rapport with Siara by helping the human back to her feet. She staggers a little but finds her footing quickly, taking his hand without the slightest hesitation. Xander continues to hold her hand but finds it hard to look her in the eyes. ‘It’s very cold out here. Let’s go inside. I can light a fire. Did I tell you that I know how to work a stove now?’ Siara’s eyes soften.
‘No, you didn’t tell me. You’ll just have to show me then.’
Xander grins, nodding profusely. With his hand linked in hers, he pulls her across the lawn. His worries may have dissipated but mine are not so easily put to rest. I scratch an ice spear into the mud, forming the intricate pentagram designs and coordinates for Heret-Kau’s world. My arm grinds to a halt at the familiar presence. I don’t bother continuing.
‘My, you look very troubled, young man. What a rare sight indeed.’ Heret-Kau’s silky voice sings from the darkness. Her timing is uncanny. The Goddess moves to the edge of the cliff, waving the pouring rain away with a quick motion of her hand. The world stills. The thundering sound of rain halts. I stand beside her, peering down. ‘How much did you see?’
Through the silence the Goddess provides a small smirk, affirming my suspicions. All of it. My eyes fall to the treacherous surface below. The sharp rocks, the steep fall, the way the waves behave at high tide; ferociously clashing together like a gate to hell. No human would survive this fall. My mind wrangles with the sight of Siara’s pale body collapsing as I took hold of her arm. It takes all of my will to push away memories of Marina. It could have so easily turned out worse. Pale skin, no breath, no heartbeat, dilated pupils, her jaw slightly ajar. Death. I’ve seen it so many times before, so often now that it doesn’t bother me. But this bothers me.
‘What are you thinking right now?’ Heret-Kau says, her reptilian eyes sliding over to watch me.
‘That she might be a reincarnation of Charlotte,’ I lie. Heret-Kau nods half-heartedly.
‘I thought that way too for a while,’ she says, walking back towards the manor. ‘Now, I believe something different.’ She pauses, waiting for me to take the bait. I don’t. The Goddess rolls her eyes and continues of her own accord. ‘I now believe that Siara was born no more special than any other human and instead, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.’
The casualness of her tone strikes a chord. Siara is not like any other human, she’s definitely worse; not just any human can manage to get under my skin as much as she does. Repeatedly. Maintaining a neutral expression, I mutter out a ‘how so?’
Heret-Kau’s expression perks up. There’s nothing she loves more than hearing herself talk. ‘Well, the human girl is possessed, of course. More than likely, that’s all there is to it. It’s possible she already had a predisposition to seeing spirits that made her more susceptible to a possession.’
I shake my head but say nothing. That doesn’t explain why Charlotte would want to walk Siara off a cliff. ‘Charlotte isn’t the sort of person who would try to harm Siara.’
Heret-Kau raises her thin eyebrows. ‘Really, now? Are you certain? Do tell me then, William, what is she like?’ Her golden ornaments shine in the moonlight. I stand muted and glaring, painfully aware more than ever of the gaps in my memory. ‘Hm, I see. Well, either way, I thought you would be relieved. You have finally found your Charlotte, after all. Is this not what you wanted? You’ve been searching for so long, almost since the moment you were made and now you’re so close, so why do you seem so uncertain?’
‘I’m not. I am relieved – it is…’ The words come out stiff – stilted and robotic. ‘What I want.’ It’s not a lie but why does it not feel like the truth either? Things feel more complicated now – more grey than they did before.
‘Okay,’ she coos, turning away. ‘If that’s the case, I will be expecting that we will not meet again. I’m sure you will be passing on soon. If that’s all then, I’ll take my leave. Give my regards to your companions.’
My teeth clench, an aversion to a question simmering on the tip of my tongue. The Goddess creates her usual portal. She turns back slowly, giving a dismissive wave. The words fall out of my mouth.
‘What will happen to her?’
Heret-Kau looks back, surprised. ‘Do you mean Siara?’ I nod. She shrugs nonchalantly, which irritates me more. ‘Who’s to say. I guess that depends on the whims of your newlywed. I’m sure she’ll be fine. You are so confident in Charlotte’s character, after all.’ Something dark hits my stomach, a murky distaste lurking in its depths. Newlywed? Were we married? I can’t quite remember.
The Goddess turns to face her portal again. ‘William, just because I don’t expect to hear from you again, doesn’t mean I won’t welcome it,’ she says, her voice soft. ‘Sometimes what we needed yesterday, isn’t what we need today.’ She steps through. The portal closes. Rain falls back down to the earth around me with a thunderous roar.
I sit up quickly, a nightmare waking me from my rest. Although optional for us, sleep has become a recreational activity, primarily used to fill the time. After creation, dreaming served as a way for me to remember my old life, even if it was riddled with gaps and nightmares. Over time the nightmares have mostly ceased and along with them, my recollection of a previous life. Xander has never slept. He tried once after I had suggested it, just after he was thrown begrudgingly into my company. I thought I could finally get some time to myself. The result was less than ideal. He awoke terrified and confused. He never took to it again after that and I never bothered to ask why. Tonight though, the night is too still for the mortal realm and silence rings through the manor in a way that puts me on edge. I sigh heavily, staring up at the ceiling of my old room. Xander is awake and I’m sure he knows that I am too. I hear no footsteps, not a restless sound, so it’s clear we both must be taking in the silence.
It is strange, and to some degree unsettling, to find some of my old possessions left within the room, untouched for at least a century. Dust layered thick on books and empty frames like a blanket of time. It’s clear my parents didn’t stay here long after my death, possibly deciding to move to the summer house permanently but unable to fully bring themselves to sell the family estate, even employing a casual cleaner to tend to the manor. I can’t blame them. How could they stay here where two of their children died? One by drowning, and the other by – I flinch at the pain searing in my head.
I get up, letting the thought as well as the pain slip away. The old floorboards that used to creak under my feet remain soundless as I cross them. The hallway is dark and empty. Siara sleeps, silent as expected. That human really sleeps like the dead.
Halfway down the stairs, I stop. She’s fine. Heret-Kau was just trying to get under my skin. Even if Charlotte was possessing Siara, she would never do anything to hurt her, I’m sure. Today at the cliff was a misunderstanding. My feet find their way back outside her door. Misunderstanding or not, I should probably check just to be certain. Her door hangs slightly ajar. She should really be more careful. Who knows what sort of things could be lurking around in an abandoned manor. Myself, for instance. I listen.
No deep breath, no steady heartbeat.
My fingers rest against the wooden door, opening it with the slightest of force. It swings silently, revealing an empty bed and not a dead human. Relief breathes through me, slowly curdling to terrible dread. Reaching the rocky edge of the cliff in a matter of seconds, I take a deep breath, peering down. No darkened figure bobbing in the water below, no disfigured body fallen against the rocks. I release the deep breath I hadn’t realised I’d held. Okay, she’s not here. Good. Now, where would she have gone?
Despite the sounds of the night, it doesn’t take long to find something; a faint sound of heavy breathing and rustling grass comes from behind the manor. Twigs snap and leaves crunch, leaving an audial trail for me to follow as I search through the dense forest. I catch a glimpse of Siara’s dark hooded jumper before it vanishes behind the trees. After a few moments, another glimpse.
And then she stops. The glimpses, the breathing and the walking. It all comes to an eerie still halt, as if time itself has frozen. I can’t find her. Do I call out her name? No, I’m not going to do something so ridiculous. Just one more sound. That’s all I need.
A babbled mess of words whimpers from a figure just up ahead. That will do. I proceed with haste, but maintain caution as I reach the outskirts of the clearing. She’s talking to someone. At first, I entertain the thought that it’s someone I can’t see or sense but soon realise no one is there. She is alone.
‘Siara?’ I ask, taking in the surroundings as I walk out from the treeline. ‘Why are you out here?’
Before she answers, my breath catches in recognition. The fallen oak where I had once sat, the field of flowers I used to know and even the large moon beaming down from the night sky. ‘This clearing…’ It’s the one from my nightmares. But something else as well. This place is important to me. I know this place.
‘Yes, that’s right, William.’ The voice is stronger, more commanding than Siara’s. My eyes snap to her, full of a disconcerting mix of fascination and fear.
