âAre you out of your head? An educated girl like you, why on earth would you take your own life, eh? Wonât you be stuck in hell if you did so? Havenât others loved before! Are you the first one? Can you tell me whatâs happened?â
âI donât know. I canât tell you whatâs happened! I think I have been wronged. Only Allah knows! I donât have a mother, nor a father or brother. Iâm very scared, Bhabi! I canât tell anyone about whatâs happened. No one at all.â
After saying that, Riziya began sobbing loudly. Reshma was dying to find out the real reason behind her tears. But because she was unable to fathom that, she failed to find the appropriate words to console Riziya. She knew that Riziyaâs uncles were not behaving properly with her. Was that the reason? Or had there been further bad blood between her and Imam Saheb? Was it the forced marriage to Raqib that had broken her like this? Couldnât she stop the marriage somehow? Did she finally have to accept Raqib? Reshma couldnât figure anything out. Nevertheless, she skilfully pretended to understand Riziyaâs anguish, and consoled her, saying, âBe strong, Rizi. How can a girl like you simply weep? Itâs us who ought to weep, pagli! Just think about our fate! Everything will turn out right one day, just you watch!â
Actually, in her short lifetime, although Riziya had learnt to recognize peopleâs character, she hadnât been able to recognize the person dwelling within a person. Every person carried another person within. That inner person created relationships â inner relationships. That could be a bad relationship, or it could be a good relationship. Riziya relied greatly on her self-confidence. She had thought that if she explained her feelings to Raqib, he would definitely understand the matter. She had hated Raqib ever since her childhood; she had disregarded him completely. But now she thought that she needed Raqib. After all, Raqib too was human, he too was intelligent. So she could try to talk to Raqib at an appropriate moment. She did try a few times in the last two weeks. But his foul language and intemperate speech had pained her. Nevertheless, Riziya did not lose hope. Ten days back, Raqib had told her, âAll right, I will talk privately with you. Everyone has been invited to Rahman Daâs father-in-lawâs house on Wednesday. No one will be at home. Come to my room, and Iâll listen carefully to what you have to say.â
Raqib had grown up thinking poorly of Riziya. When her mother, Jamila, arrived at Sadnahati with her child, Riziya, and took shelter there, Jamilaâs cousins were not very pleased. She would be a hindrance to their taking over her fatherâs property. After much consideration, it was the allure of property, rather than blood ties, that ensured that Jamila was not ignored. They had thought, after all, how long would Jamila survive? Once her only daughter grew up, the problem would be solved by getting her married off.
Jamila, too, passed away. The child, Riziya, was then a part of her Chhoto Mamaâs family. Kalu Miyaâs wife, Raqibâs Ma, always viewed Riziya as an unwanted and unnecessary bother. As if she was afraid that this girl who had suddenly appeared might become a part of the household. Raqib had grown up with the notion that Riziya was actually not a part of his family; she was an orphan, who was being raised in this Miya household. And so, she could be made to do anything. When Raqib was in his teens, Riziya was a child. He used to order her around constantly, and if she refused, he would hit her. The two sisters-in-law, from the two families, had many altercations because of this. Raqib never accorded Riziya the respect due to her. His mother had played a major role in shaping him in this fashion. It was Raqibâs motherâs indulgence that made him turn out to be a rowdy. Many of his misdeeds were forgiven, thanks to blind affection. When Raqib grew up and observed Riziya establishing her rights, he tried to impose his authority over her. But he was defeated time and again by her obstinacy. Every time he tried to keep her under control, he was cut down to size. Riziya was no longer a child, she was a young woman now. If the social conditions or privileges without which a person could not realize their full individuality were deemed to be rights, then Riziya merely wanted to claim her rights. Examples of such rights were her refusal to sell off her motherâs property to Rafiq Ali Sheikh, or submit to her uncles in regard to her marriage to Raqib.
It was difficult for Raqib to accept such audacity on the part of a female. His temperament became even more violent after he heard about Riziyaâs relationship with Imam Saheb. It had occurred to him many times to go and humiliate him. But he couldnât gather the courage. Because he had merely heard about the relationship and had no real proof. Besides, youths like Raqib were not really accepted by the community. They were not brave enough to speak against the imam. If there wasnât adequate evidence, the community would instead fault him for slander. One usually took out oneâs rage on someone who was weak, not someone who was empowered.
In Raqibâs view, the sole reason for his familyâs uncertain future was Riziya. Because of the suit filed by her, an injunction had been obtained on the property â the land could not be sold. Which meant that his plans to go to Dubai were stymied. He had given up all hope. But when he heard from his father and uncle about the proposal to get Riziya married to him, he had actually been pleased. He would now be able to smash all her arrogance. It was over their wives that people of a hateful mentality exercised all their dominance. As soon as he was married, she was bound to listen to whatever he said. It was this vain thought that had reassured him all these days. But Riziya had not agreed to that. She wasnât heeding the wishes of even her guardian, Salaam Miya! So Raqib was in a terrible fury as regards Riziya. And he could think of no means of dousing that. Like interest compounding, his fury was mounting.
The old two-storey house had separate stairs on the two sides, but the roof terrace was a shared one. And that was like a vast field. Riziya had gone up to the terrace late in the afternoon to fetch the clothes that had been hung out to dry. She was startled when she suddenly noticed Raqib there! He was sitting in a corner of the terrace, smoking ganja, and blowing out a cloud of smoke. He hid the chillum the moment he spotted Riziya. But he hadnât acquired the ability to conceal the smoke. Riziya wanted to collect the clothes and leave, without expressing any surprise. Raqib stood in her way. His eyes were bloodshot. There was something dreadful about that. Riziya said, âMove! Let me pass.â
âYou said you wanted to speak to me. Tell me now.â
âI donât have the time now. Wait till Wednesday. Move out of my way now!â
âHey, sure, but whatâs the hurry? Tell me what youâll say on Wednesday right now, Rizi!â
âHey, will you move? What can I say to a ganja addict? Make sure you are not stoned when we speak. Remember that.â
âWhat the hell! I know what you want to say!â
âWhatâs that?â
âYou donât want to marry me, isnât that it? I know you hate me!â
âOh! I see you know everything! But thereâs more to it. Iâll tell you on Wednesday. Move now.â
Riziya made to leave. She had a pile of dry clothes in her hands. She pushed him away with a shove. Raqib lost his balance and fell down. He got annoyed. He got up and stood in her way again, and said, âHey, listen! Where are you off to? Get it in your head that Iâm definitely marrying you. No fucker can stop that! Does that fucker Maulana Saheb think he can marry you and grab the property? Take it from me, I wonât allow that to happen!â
âStop your stoned blabber! The propertyâŠâ
âYou think Iâll sit quietly after you choose Maulana Saheb for a husband? Iâll thrash that fucker tillâŠâ
Riziya controlled herself. Raqib was like a violent animal. She was frightened. She said, âListen, you wonât be able to understand anything now. If I explain it to you, youâll understand. I canât marry you. How can I do that? Weâve grown up playing together since childhood, you are my Chhot Da. Is it proper?â
âThat means itâs like I thought. So you wonât marry me, is that it? And when did I become your Chhot Da? You never called me that! And are we blood relatives that we canât get married?â
âIâll explain it to you. Move now. Let me pass, Chhot Da.â
Riziya gave Raqib another hefty shove and left. All he could do was shout, âOkay, go, but donât call me Chhot Da again. Iâll speak to you on Wednesday. I wonât have anything that day either.â
It was Rahman Miyaâs wifeâs brotherâs wedding. Everyone in the family had left yesterday for the brideâs house. Raqib was all alone at home. It was Wednesday today! He had had a plan in mind since yesterday. He would tell Riziya what he wanted to do â he would tell her everything. He was clear about one thing: he would have to change himself if he wanted to get Riziya. He also knew how Riziya would respond. He knew that she would never marry him under any circumstances. He could not allow the one he had lusted for since his teens, that little girl, to scorn him now that she had grown up, humiliate him and get away with it. It wounded his masculinity. Today Raqib would make a request to Riziya, using all his skills of persuasion. He would vow to her with folded hands that he would give up all his wrong ways from today. No intoxicants â everything was off from today. If Riziya agreed, Raqib would learn to live in a new way. Begin to dream of a life of dignity and honour like any other person in the community. If Riziya earnestly refused, Raqib would employ his secret alternative plan as his final weapon.
The afternoon had gone by. Like in the middle of the night, this time of the day was somehow devoid of any clamour. People rested in their respective rooms after finishing lunch and took a nap. Raqib waited for Riziya. They were supposed to speak privately. Raqibâs room was on the first floor. After a short while, Riziya entered his room with her usual air. Raqib smiled out of courtesy and said, âCome, Rizi, sit down. Sit on that cot.â
âI wonât sit. Let me just tell you what I have to say. I have been meaning to tell you from a few days back. You mustnât prevent me.â
âTell me! What do you want to say?â
âI want to say, get the obsession of marrying me out of your head. I plead with you, I cannot marry you. If you yourself tell Chhoto Mama that, Iâll be highly obliged. And as regards the land, you too will get a share of that.â
This was what Raqib had expected. He was silent after Riziya spoke. And then he said, âBut that benefits only you, Rizi! What about my benefit? Rather, you get the obsession with Maulana Saheb out of your head. Who knows anything about him? Why such love for a stranger! No one knows whether he is a bachelor or a married man! Have you ever been to his village house? How could you just know him superficially and fall into his trap, Rizi? I know about many such fraudulent maulanas who get married twice. A wife in the village and one here! Itâs so common!â
âYou donât have to explain that to me. But heâs still a Maulana Saheb. Heâs employed, he has honour.â
âLook Rizi, just look at me once. Please listen to me carefully. Your uncles donât want you to come to any harm. If the two of us get married, itâs good for both of us. I know you donât like me. Iâm an ignorant man. But just see, Iâll be a good man one day. Once weâre married, Iâll build a market on your land. We can run our family with the rent from the shops. Do you know what a shop rents for now in Sadnahati?â
Riziya turned her face towards Raqib. She thought, if this is what he thinks, itâs better to die; thatâs better than having him as a life companion. Chhee! What a base mindset! Nevertheless, she tried to explain once again. She said, âThatâs not the issue. One can run oneâs family one way or another. But actually, there can never be a meeting of minds between us. Try to understand that. What are you, and what am I?â
âWhat are you? Just a woman! Yes, I agree, youâre educated. So whatâs the big deal? Who said there canât be a meeting of minds? You know Samsuddin, I mean Samu, from the other hamlet, donât you? He gets drunk and lies on the street. His wife, too, is educated. The daughter of a teacher. Theyâre married! Their children are grown up too!â
Riziya lost control over herself now. She had never seen someone as hellbent as this in all her life. She retorted angrily, âListen to me! Let me tell you my final word. Actually, you are not worthy of me. If you want to marry me, you have to be worthy of me. But you are not. How are you worthy?â
Blood rushed to Raqibâs head when he heard that. He snarled and spat out, âSo youâre not willing! Bloody orphan girl, you grew up in our house, and you teach me about worthiness? Only that fucker Maulana Saheb is worthy, isnât it? Go and marry him! Letâs see how he does that!â
Riziya was stunned to hear that. Was he going to make trouble! Both of them were silent for a long while. Although Raqib said what he did, he calmed down the very next moment; his appearance turned normal. And then the situation changed at once. He smiled and said to Riziya, âDid you get scared, Rizi? I was just joking! Achchha, all right, you do as you please. But your Hujur is indeed a lucky man. He got a whole bunch of fruits without even climbing the tree! Go, Iâm making way for you. ButâŠâ
Riziya had really got scared initially. But after Raqibâs assurances, she regained her composure and sat down on the cot. Raqib said to her, âSit a while. Iâll just go and have some tea. I need tea at this time. Iâve got a headache. Iâll go to the kitchen and be back.â
Riziya nodded in assent. After Raqib left the room, Riziya felt quite cheerful. So she had finally been able to convince him. She felt happy about her achievement. She pondered, one had to reach the root of the problem. If a rotten cat fell into the well, how could merely removing the water suffice? The cat had to be removed and thrown away. Riziya had been able to remove the rotten cat now. If her Chhoto Mama pressurized her and insisted that she marry Raqib, Riziya would simply smile. Raqib himself would disagree with the marriage. She felt some compassion for Raqib. It occurred to her that once everything was sorted out, she would certainly give a part of her land to Raqib; she wouldnât deprive him. Riziya believed that every person had both a good and a bad side to them. Whichever of the two was awakened, was subsequently expressed. She had been able to tame Raqib. It was easier to tame a wild tiger in the forest than the one in the mind! Riziya felt relieved at being rid of a complicated problem in her life. Raqib returned after about ten minutes. Riziya could hear him humming a song as he came up the stairs. She was pleased. So Raqibâs inner self was indeed likeable! As he entered the room, she observed that he had a cup of tea in each hand; he extended one towards Riziya.
âHere, Rizi, have some tea.â
âBut I donât have tea at this time. Actually, I should go now. So itâs final then? Youâll tell Mama that you wonât marry me. All right?â
âYes, itâs all right. We agreed, didnât we! Come, have the tea. And tell me why you like Maulana Saheb?â
For some reason, Riziya now felt a liking towards the person she had disliked from her childhood, to whom she had never accorded the respect due to anyone, and with whom she had never spoken politely. She felt a bit embarrassed at Raqibâs query. She took the cup from him. She took a sip and said, âI like him. He likes me too.â
âDid he tell you that he will live here?â
âYes.â
They conversed as they had the tea. The tea was a bit tasteless. How could menfolk prepare tea, Riziya wondered! She finished her tea.
âSo wonât he continue to be the imam of the mosque? Will he live as a ghor-jamai?â
âI donât know. He may continue as imam.â
The conversation between them proceeded at a leisurely pace. But suddenly, Riziya felt that Raqibâs words were floating past her. Much as she tried to keep her eyes open, her sight turned hazy. Raqibâs face seemed to blend into darkness. She felt dizzy too. She had no sense of what she was saying to Raqib. After a lot of effort, she managed to say, âWhy do I feel like this? I feel terribly sleepy. Iâll leave now.â
âJust sit for a little while. You can go after that. Donât you take a nap in the afternoon? Iâve behaved very badly with you from the time you were small, I swore at you. Please donât keep all that in your mind!â