“He’s a twat.”
“Don’t be harshing on my Weasley.”
“Weasley is a twat, like me. Both of us are penniless twats.”
“Wow. This is a whole new level of moping. Also, for the record, I’ll take out a loan for the rest of med school. I never wanted you to pay for it if it was going to make you miserable and work twenty-four seven, you daft idiot.”
“Daft idiot?”
“Oh, excuse me, like you’ve never heard me call you that before?”
“No, I think you should’ve called me a daft prick though,” I say, and then a laugh I didn’t expect bursts from my chest. Because holy fuck. That’s exactly how I’m behaving. I’m behaving worse than the night I went to Walker’s club.
“I should get ready for the wedding. I have to see Truly tonight, and I need to be one hundred percent focused on my client. Perhaps I should take up yoga in the next few minutes to get her out of my mind.”
“Or maybe don’t?”
“Don’t take up yoga?”
“Don’t worry about getting her out of your mind, because that’s not where she is. She’s in your heart. And you’re so damn focused on work. You say it’s because of me and school and bills, and that’s true to some extent, but I swear, I can find a way to cover them. Or take out loans and still be just fine. Please don’t let me be the person who stands in your way.” She takes a beat, takes a breath. “But I don’t think I’m actually the reason.”
“What? Are you kidding? I made you a promise, and I’m not breaking it.”
She groans and moves even closer to the screen. “You’re not listening, Jason. I’m not talking about money. I’m talking about that heart of yours. You locked it in a cage after Claire left. It’s made you afraid. You’re afraid that you’re going to lose out, that you’re going to have to reinvent yourself like you did after Claire left. But things will always change. That’s life.” She clears her throat and dives back into it. “No matter what happens with Truly, you’re going to have to figure out what to do with work and where the Modern Gentleman goes next. Don’t you see my point?”
“I’m not sure I do.” But for the first time all day, I start to shuck off my hard edge, my anger, my frustration. Because I want to understand my sister and what she’s telling me. Maybe, just maybe, I want to find a way to the other side of this terrible mess. “Try to help me see it.”
She softens further, taking a lower, kinder tone. “The question is, do you want to sort out all these work issues on your own? Or do you want to sort them out with somebody who loves you and supports you, and probably wants to be there for you as you navigate your way through?”
And like that, today becomes crystal clear.
Thanks to my friends and my sister.
I am indeed a daft idiot.
I’m spiraling.
I’m letting work get in the way of love. I’m letting old wounds reopen. I’m forgetting every piece of advice I’ve ever shared.
I lost one bit on one show, but I was doing fine before. I can’t lose sight of all the other opportunities out there. Hell, I’ll be my own Ryder if no one wants me on their program.
But I’m not concentrating on what matters.
What matters is Truly.
I might have lost the job, but I’m not going to lose the woman.
That’s the advice that every man should follow, and I’m going to do so to the letter tonight.
48
The thing about getting your shit together is it doesn’t always work like it does in the movies. Just because you figure out how to remove your skull from your ass doesn’t mean you can cut across Midtown traffic like you’re the star of the show.
Nor does it mean the woman will answer the phone.
I keep calling Truly to see if I can meet her ahead of Enzo’s ceremony, but I reach voicemail every time. I hope she’s not abandoning me before the wedding, but if she does, I deserve it.
I get dressed quickly, putting on my tux and knotting the bow tie, and catch a cab to the hotel where the happy couple will exchange vows in a flower-festooned ballroom. I search for Truly in the lobby, down the hall, and around the corner.
I don’t see her, and a knot of worry tightens in me.
I poke my head into the ballroom, scanning the seats. She’s not here early. I’m dying to wait on the front steps for her, but I can’t spend any more time on this mission just now.
Because here’s the other thing: commitments matter. A man should keep his promises. I need to stick to mine, so I put my phone away, join the groom, and head to the front of the room.
Wondering where Truly is when she hasn’t appeared by the time the ceremony begins, I take my place by Enzo’s side as he promises to love Valerie for the rest of their lives. As he kisses her, I’m struck by a certainty—he will. I have no doubt, just like I don’t doubt Chip’s love, or Gavin’s, for that matter.
The men I’ve stood for might have needed help in the friend department, but not in the love department. They’ve all seemed true to their hearts, and looking back, I’ve learned something from each of them.
Find a woman you want to spend each day with. Find someone who shares your passion. And give the woman what she wants.
What does Truly want?
As I flash back to the diner, the way she looked when I arrived, how she wanted to share her thoughts with me, I could smack myself. She came to the diner to talk to me about her news, and I made it all about me, me, me. And even when I did, she defended me. She told me The Consummate Wingman had been lucky to have me. And when I said love was distracting, she didn’t answer with a yes.
She answered with It can be distracting, but it can also maybe be something . . .
Something wonderful. Maybe that was what she was going to say before I cut her off.
