“No.” Liam shakes his head. “Just hanging out here before turning in.”
I look at him then. Really, honestly look at him. He’s more than handsome, with strong features and sky-blue eyes that are startlingly beautiful.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He sets his knife and semi-carved dragon down.
“Like what?” My teeth sink into my bottom lip and I debate rubbing against him like a cat in heat while demanding he appease this unimaginable ache.
But he’s not who you really want.
He’s not Xaden.
“Like…” He cocks his head to the side. “Like something’s going on. You don’t look like you feel—you know—like yourself.”
Oh shit.
It’s because I’m not myself. All of this, the need, the lust, the craving for the one person who I’m meant to be with…it’s Tairn.
Tairn’s emotions aren’t just overwhelming me; they’re controlling me.
“I’m good! Go to bed!” I step back into my room and slam the door while I still have the mental capacity to do so.
Then I start pacing, but that doesn’t stop the next blast of heat or the compulsion to—
I have to get out of here before I make an epic mistake and take Tairn’s feelings out on Liam.
Grabbing my fur-lined cloak in one hand and pulling my hair up with the other, I swirl the fabric over my shoulders and fasten the clip beneath my throat. A second later, I peek out the door, and when I’m sure the coast is clear, I fucking flee.
I make it to the entrance of the spiral steps—the ones that lead to the river—before I have to lean back against the stone wall and breathe through the fog of Tairn’s emotions.
Once the wave passes, I race down the steps, keeping one hand on the wall in case I’m pulled under again.
The mage lights flicker on as I approach and fizzle out as I race by, as though this newfound power is already at work, stretching into the world.
Away. I have to get away from everyone until Tairn finishes…whatever he and Sgaeyl are doing.
I stumble out of the stairwell and emerge at the foundation walls of the citadel. Snow fills the sky, and I tip my head back, savoring the brief kiss of snowflakes on skin that’s heated for all the wrong reasons.
The air is crisp and chilled, and—
My eyes pop open at the scent in the air and I whirl, my cloak whipping out behind me as I find the source of the sweet, easily identifiable smoke.
Xaden is leaning back against the wall, one foot braced on the stone, smoking and watching me like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Is that…churam?”
He blows out a puff of smoke. “Want some? Unless you’re here to continue our earlier argument, in which case, none for you.”
My jaw practically unhinges. “No! We’re not allowed to smoke that!”
“Yeah, well, the people who made that rule obviously weren’t bonded to Sgaeyl and Tairn, now were they?” A smirk lifts a corner of his mouth.
Gods, I could stare at his lips forever. They are perfectly shaped and yet entirely too decadent for the slashing line of his jaw.
“It helps with…distancing yourself.” He offers me the rolled churam and cocks an eyebrow at me—the one with the scar. “Beyond what shielding does, of course.”
I shake my head and cross through the newly fallen snow to brace my weight on the wall beside him, letting my head fall back against the stone.
“Suit yourself.” He inhales deeply on the churam and then puts it out against the wall.
“I feel like I’m on fucking fire.” That’s putting it mildly.
“Yeah. That happens.” His laugh holds a wicked edge, and I make the utterly unforgivable mistake of turning to see his smile.
Xaden, while brooding and bossy, dangerous and lethal, is a toe-curling sight that makes my pulse quicken. But Xaden laughing, his head thrown back with a smile curving his mouth, is drop-dead beautiful. My stupid, foolish heart feels like there’s a fist around it, squeezing tight.
There is nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice, nothing I wouldn’t give to have one unguarded moment with this man I’m going to be tethered to for the rest of our lives.
This has to be Tairn. It just…has to.
And yet, I know it isn’t. While I’d admired Liam upstairs, I am completely, utterly obsessed with Xaden.
His eyes meet mine in the moonlight. “Oh, Violence, you’re going to have to learn to shield against Tairn or his escapades with Sgaeyl will drive you mad—or into someone’s bed.”
I squeeze my eyes shut just so I can escape his gorgeous face as a jolt of heat flashes through me, making every inch of my skin tingle and burn. I reach a hand out to steady myself against the wall again. “Oh, I know. I am horrified to see Liam again.”
“Liam? Why?” He pivots to face me, leaning against his shoulder. “Where the hell is your bodyguard?”
“I’m my own bodyguard,” I counter, resting my cheek on the icy stone. “And he’s in bed.”
