“Considering we cannot form bonds with humans,” Haruka says, “you don’t wish to mate?”

“Nope,” I say simply.

“Why?” Haruka asks. “Before my first bond was broken, I was genuinely excited about mating. It was not until after I was betrayed that my stance drastically changed.”

Haruka had been mated with a purebred female named Yuna when he was younger. He’s never explained in great detail, but the gist is she did something intimate with another vampire, causing their bond to break. The event was unprecedented. We all thought bonds never broke.

“I grew up in a house with two vampires who forced their bond,” I explain, taking a deep breath. “My father was a manipulative, demanding and strict bastard that used his purebred influence over my mother and all of us every chance he could. I never want to be in a situation like that again. I’ll never bond with a ranked vampire—especially a purebred. No offense.”

“Not all purebreds are strict and controlling,” Haruka says thoughtfully, unoffended. “Do you think that Nino and I are that way?”

“Of course not. But you two are off the market, aren’t you?”

Nino laughs and shakes his head. “I hate that I need to leave right now. I’ll see you guys later.” He drains his coffee, and we send him off warmly before I look at Haruka once more. “Can you truly sit there and tell me that most ranked vampires aren’t arrogant assholes?”

Haruka shakes his head. “I cannot. However… if I was capable of meeting a vampire like Nino, perhaps there is hope for you as well? Your nature couldn’t possibly be satisfied this way—having emotional intimacy with one source and apathetically feeding from another. You will be deeply gratified when the two are merged into one being. Feeding from the vampire you love… Junichi, there is no sensation more satisfying. Nothing.”

I stretch my arms up and smile, mocking. “All fantasy. Whimsical dreams.”

“It happened for me.”

“Well, you’re the purebred prince, aren’t you?”

He frowns and rolls his eyes, distinctly looking away from me. It’s Haruka’s way of saying “fuck you.” He would never say those words, though. I wish he would. Maybe I would pay to hear it. Either way, it works for me, because at least I’ve shut him up.

Nine

Jae

“Oi. You wanker. Why the hell haven’t you been picking up your mobile?”

I rub my palm down my face as I hold the phone to my ear. “To avoid being shouted at?”

“Smartarse,” Cyrus says. He’s upset, but I can hear the laugh behind his voice. “You’re in Japan for what, four months, and I’m to fuck off now, am I? Don’t need old Cy anymore. To hell with him.”

“Dramatic.” I sigh. Have you ever had a close friend as a kid, and everything was pretty fine back then as far as adolescent relationships go, but then, as you grow up with that person and reach adulthood, you think, If I met you now, with my fully matured brain, maybe I wouldn’t fancy being your friend?

That’s me with Cy.

It’s Tuesday night. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, trying to send an email about the proposal to Junichi. According to Risa, he’s in Europe for the next two weeks. You’d think he would have mentioned that.

“I worry, alright?” Cyrus says. “You and your weird vampire obsession. Japan is rife with them. I’m terrified you’ll let one of them drain you and leave you in the gutter.”

“I’m not obsessed. I’m not some fanboy—”

“Right. You’re a professional fanboy. Doctor Fanboy.”

“Piss off, Cy. Is this why you called me? To start an argument?” I hate it when he does this—picks at me about vampires, even though he knows why I am the way I am.

“No,” he says, his voice finally softening. “I worry, alright? Pip does too. She just asked me when’s the last time I spoke with you, and I couldn’t remember. Don’t let more than a week go by, Jae. Please?”

I’m massaging my forehead with my fingers. Why can’t he just say that without all the other bullshit? “Fine. I’ll do better.” Cyrus and my dad are like the only family I have. Mum died when I was in secondary school. Dad stayed with me and saw me through my A-levels before he moved back to Korea. I went off to university in Oxford, and it didn’t make sense for him to stay in a cottage in Bristol alone. We agreed.

His family is not very fond of me, although I’ve never met them. I suppose, technically, they’re my family too. They hated my mum because Dad defied his mother when they got married and moved to England. Apparently, my grandmother was totally against all of it. Now that Mum is gone, the animosity from that situation has been transferred directly to me, it seems. I try not to think about it too much—that I have grandparents, an aunt and cousins I’ve never met. Maybe never will. Mum was raised in the foster system, so no reliable family history there.

We talk fairly often, me and Dad. He always wants to know how I’m feeling, like he’s genuinely concerned for my health. I’m not welcome in his family’s house. He apologizes to me for that. I haven’t seen him in person since I was twenty-one. That was when I finished undergrad and he flew back to England for the ceremony. He also paid off the cottage in Bristol and signed it over to me so that I would always have a place to go. It’s my home, but I have renters there now. It’s a quaint, neat little house that my mum picked out before her health went completely downhill.

The cottage makes me a bit sad though, so I don’t stay there.

“What are you doing?” Cyrus asks, finally calm.

“I’m working on a proposal, and I need to email the hospital director about something.”

“A proposal for…? See, I don’t even know what’s happening in your life anymore.”

I grin. “If you shut up, I’ll tell you. It’s a program to help same-sex vampire couples have kids.”

“Sorry I asked.”

“Tosser.”

“Have you been dating?” Cyrus asks. “I mean normies. Humans. Don’t tell me about your dodgy vampire banging.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me. Pip says hi.”

“Hello, Pippa.” I sigh. Pippa is Cyrus’s very blonde, blue-eyed, pixie-like fiancée. Growing up, Cy and I spent so much time together that his little sister used to joke that we were gay. I didn’t mind because… well, I was, wasn’t I? Sort of. I hadn’t quite figured myself out yet. But Cy hated it, and so did his parents. When Cy got engaged to Pippa before I left, his parents weren’t thrilled over her blonde-hair, blue-eyed-ness, but I suspect they were grateful about her female-ness.

I once told Cy that the two of them sound like a children’s book about a boy and his dog who solve mysteries. Cyrus and Pip: Something’s Fishy at the Beach or Cyrus and Pip at the Fair: Disappearing Clowns are no Joke. He didn’t think that was very funny.

“Can we catch up this weekend?” I ask. “I need to finish this email before I lose my train of thought.”

“Promise?” Cyrus says.

“I promise. Cheers.”

“Later.”

I hang up and exhale a deep breath. Cyrus has been stressing me the hell out ever since I moved to Japan. We’ve been around each other almost constantly since we were tweens. It’s like I’m trying to gently detach the umbilical cord and he is not having it. He was very against me moving here, saying I didn’t know anyone and it was too far away. He’s about to be married and start a new life. I honestly have no desire to be his and Pip’s third wheel.

I read over the email in front of me one more time.

^{To: takayamajunichi@giannagraciamedical.org}

^{Subject: Proposal Questions}

Hello, Junichi,