When you find that strong connection in our culture, conventional wisdom says you don’t run away from it. You cling to it. You bond with it. Like I said, though, that’s just never been what I wanted… until now? Maybe?

“Jae snuck up on me. He wasn’t supposed to be a vampire.”

Asao laughs at this and shakes his head. “He got you with your guard down. Le petit sneaky doctor.”

I laugh because the ridiculous nickname is getting longer. Jae isn’t even French. “He didn’t trick me on purpose.”

“Still. You haven’t ditched him.”

“Because he’s different. He’s a vampire with a human mindset. He’s not stuffy and uptight—over-concerned with bloodlines and ranking.”

Asao nods. “That’s true.”

“And he doesn’t make demands of me or constantly talk about bonding. He takes care of lower-ranked vampires and their health. I admire that quality in people. I’ve been living with him for over a month in my home. Asao, I never could have imagined this a few months ago—that I would let another person live with me. And I still don’t feel oppressively chained to him, you know? I feel free, but I also have this intelligent and delicious creature flittering around my house. Like icing on a cake.” Dammit. Desserts again.

“You’re not bonded with him now though,” Asao says. “You think it’ll change if you do? Will the oppression set in?”

I frown. “I don’t know. That’s why I said I don’t know. Maybe I’m not ready—maybe I am? Shit… I want him though. In my house. It’s nice. Comfortable.”

“Like a pet?”

“No—Why are you stirring the pot?”

“I’m not.” Asao shrugs. “I’m helping you clarify your feelings. Getting down to the nitty gritty.”

I smirk, picking up my beer again. “You’re so old. ‘Nitty gritty.’ Who says that shit?”

“Shut up. You’re in love with Jae.”

I take a long sip of my beer. “Love is a big word. Heavy.”

“You’re not ready.” Asao sits back, his arms folded. “I’ll give you a tip. When you can admit that much, you’re ready.”

I lift my chin. “What about you? How long are you going to play old-man footsies with the yakitori lady down the street?”

Asao points, smiling. “Oi—that’s grown folks’ business.”

“Dios mío. The hypocrisy.” I’m rolling my eyes when my phone buzzes against the booth bench. I reach down and flip it over to quickly read the incoming texts, all from Ren.

[How long do you plan to do this!? Are you trying to prove a point??]

[You’re acting like a damn child!]

[Get your ass over here NOW. Enough Violet. Don’t starve yourself to spite me.]

[My conscious is too delicate to carry that weight.]

“Who’s blowing up your phone?” Asao asks. “Is it Haruka? Is Jae awake?”

“No,” I say, flipping the phone back over without answering. “It’s Ren. Making demands and being oppressive.”

Wednesday morning, I’m getting ready to head to the studio when my phone buzzes against the kitchen counter. I’m still ignoring Ren’s bitchy text messages and the entire circumstance of ending things with him. I pick up my phone anyway and read the screen. It’s Haruka.

[Jae is stirring.]

I turn off the coffee pot, grab my keys and head out the door.

Thirty-Six

Junichi

A vampire’s aura and the strength of it exist on a spectrum. Some people say that only purebreds have true auras. This is just some elitist aristocracy bullshit.

We all have auras to varying degrees. Obviously, purebreds have the strongest auras because they are the “heart” of our existence: the origin of where we as ranked vampires stem from. The power of a purebred’s aura naturally draws the rest of us in toward them, acting as a kind of epicenter and creating a layered community of vampires around them. It’s why Haruka and Nino’s realm has grown from something like fifty to three hundred ranked vampires within the past year and a half since they’ve moved here.

As a first-gen vampire—one generation removed from purebred—I’m especially sensitive to the pull of their energy. There is a rule of thumb among snobby first-gen families called “keeping near the heart.” It’s an antiquated expression that’s still being practiced, both intentionally and unintentionally.

In my case, I was raised very intentionally under this edict. As an adult making my own choices, I am still operating under this system, albeit unintentionally.

The idea is that a family bearing first-gen children should make certain their children are connected, somehow, someway, with a purebred vampire. The purpose is to keep the family’s bloodline as high as possible—God forbid your family line slips into second- or third-gen. So far removed from the heart of our natures that your generational bloodline is slowly crawling toward humanity, like a slug into a muck-filled and fruitless pit. It’s why Ren was chosen as my source when I was young.

If you hook me up with a clean-blooded purebred in my developmental years, guess what I’ll innately want and seek for the rest of my life? A fucking purebred. Even if things don’t work out between Ren and I, what will I try to find? Another purebred. All the while maintaining my family’s honorable and dignified bloodline.

This is why Hisaki is always questioning me about how to get closer to Haruka (even though Haruka is clearly not available as a potential mate—delusional twerp). How did I end up being close to Nino and Haruka? How is it that I can come and go to their estate as I please, when any other vampire in our aristocracy needs to make a formal appointment with them?

Part of it is likely my upbringing. The unintentional pull. The bigger part is that they’re not like your average purebreds, and I’m not like your average first-gen. I think, somehow, our temperaments just match. We’re friends.

They don’t talk down to me or try to make me feel inferior, and I don’t bow at them and speak in flowery, formal language. Both Haruka and Nino hate that. They don’t judge me for sleeping with humans despite my rank, or for not bonding with Ren—although a lot of vampires in our aristocracy openly condemn me on that issue:

“Why on earth haven’t you bonded with him and what are you waiting for?”

“How dare you keep Lord Ren waiting? Selfishly focusing on your own travels and career.”

“Yes, your father was notoriously stern, but my God, isn’t it about time you settled down?”

I have legitimately heard these things—and much more—at aristocrat functions. Usually from the older ones. Scolding me and ignoring the fact that Ren is a monster. Which, quietly, everyone thinks. He’s acting realm leader for a reason. No one truly respects his authority. But he’s my monster. I’ve been assigned to him, so I should do what’s right and lock myself in the cage with him.

Damn that.

When I’m on the front steps of the Kurashiki estate, I stop dead, standing completely still in the frosty morning air with my breath fanning out in front of me. Usually when I visit, I sense the strong pulse of Haruka and Nino’s combined aura, but… there’s a second, unique energy now. It’s weaker, but it’s there. I swallow hard as I knock on the door. Almost immediately, it swings open.

“Hey,” Asao says. His eyebrow is raised as he steps aside.

“Hey…” I respond, distracted.

“They’re waiting for you.”