“Yes.” He grins. “Are you joining me in this ‘probably shower’?”

Absolutely not. “No. Did you forget we’re in Nino and Haruka’s house?”

He laughs, bubbling with joy. “Quite possibly.”

I peel him off of me and stand from the bed. “I brought a bag of clothes and underwear for you. Everything is already inside the guest bathroom next door. Shower and meet us in the kitchen, please?”

“Alright. Do you need to feed? You can if you want to—”

“No.” I say this, and it must come out harsh, because Jae’s peaceful, happy expression drops and he draws back slightly. So I say, “Thank you, Jae, but I’m fine for now. See you in a bit?”

“Yes…” He nods. But I’ve blown whatever weak cover I had. He can tell something is wrong now. Unquestionably.

I leave Jae, make my way across the breezeway and back into the main house. When I turn the corner into the open kitchen, Haruka and Nino are sitting at the table. Haruka is expressionless with a cup of coffee. Nino’s jaw drops in a silent scream when he sees me.

Staying calm, I make my way to the table and sit down. Haruka sips from his mug while Nino stares at me, mouth agape. I frown at him, annoyed. “You looking to catch flies like that?”

“Haru was right,” Nino says, his eyes wide.

I turn my annoyed gaze to the coffee-sipping vampire at the head of the table. “You knew?”

He speaks in between sips. “I suspected.”

“You could have said something. Warned me?”

“I was not certain.”

“Jun!” Nino blinks. “Jae is purebred. Do you realize what this means?”

I’m fucked? I’ve somehow ended up in a situation I’ve desperately tried to avoid my entire life? I’m a source for two purebreds simultaneously—like a high-end trough? And I’m centimeters away from bonding with one?

“Jae is the answer.” Nino says this with dramatic pause, like it’s supposed to mean something to me. Jae is the answer? The truth and the light? What the hell is he talking about?

I lift my chin. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Jae is British and a purebred.” Nino blinks at me. “Everyone’s been talking about this—trying to figure it out. Jae is the answer. They’re probably repressed. They’re generations removed, walking around and don’t even know they’re vampires.”

“You’ve awakened a British purebred, Jun,” Haruka says, his sangria eyes filled with delight. “The only one in the world that we know of. Congratulations.”

Thirty-Seven

Jae

How do I feel? How am I… I keep asking myself this, like a mental health check.

I feel alive. For starters. I’m not dead. Everything else is negligible, really.

At first, I felt ragged. When I opened my eyes, Nino was beside me. My mind was thick, like I was crawling up out of layers and layers of wet sand. Then I lay still in bed for a long moment, feeling as if I weighed a tonne. Out of nowhere, everything felt bright—too shiny—and it made my head pound.

All of that faded eventually, like the colors and sharpness adjusting on a camera lens. Now my skin is really tight… stretched? Pulled taut like cling film over a casserole pan. I don’t know. Haruka told me I’d been asleep for six days, but on the seventh day, I rose. How biblical of me. He said Jun was on the way, which made me happy. The dry tickle at the back of my throat was agitating me. He’d help out with that.

Then Jun came into the room and bloody hell. It felt like someone flicked a switch. My whole body lit up inside like a Christmas tree. I have never felt so delighted and simultaneously horny in my entire life. It was all I could do to not crawl into his lap while Nino and Haruka were still standing there. He smelled wonderful, and it consumed me—every bit of me. I felt blinded by it.

But then, through the haze of my lust and euphoria, I noticed Jun was acting a bit strangely. Like… uncomfortable? I don’t know why. I’m very anxious about it.

I get out of the shower and swipe the steamy mirror with my hand, examining myself. In addition to feeling stiff and heavy, my skin is also really clear now. I’ve never had bad skin, but it suddenly looks quite radiant. My eyes are more owl-like too. Brighter. Weird. My image is slightly fuzzy, so I still need my glasses. Annoying.

Inside, the melty feeling (formerly knotted feeling) by my spine is still there. Warm and tingly. It feels… happy? If that’s possible. When Jun was in the room it went wild. Holy shit. Like lava in a volcano bubbling and spiking before it erupts. It made me giddy for him. Maybe that’s what upset him? I’m not sure. I’ll have to keep myself in check.

I remember… before I fell asleep, he said something to me. He told me that when I woke up, we could talk about our life together. Together. Me and him—both vampires. Honestly? It made me want to hurry up and go to sleep, just to get to the other side and have “together” with Jun.

Is that pathetic? To love someone so much and be truly excited? This is new for me, so I’m not sure, but… it’s just how I feel. I really… I want to embrace it. And I want to finally tell him so that there’s no question.

When I’m dressed, I walk out of the room and onto the breezeway. I’m moving, but I feel like I’m floating. Can I fly? Am I flying? I stop in the middle of the outdoor hall and spin. Now I’m laughing at how ridiculous I am. Have I awakened into the Tasmanian Devil? He can’t even fly (not really, anyway… more like gliding?). Turning into a vampire has made me lose my mind. I blame the happy, melty thing inside me for this. Making me loony like a child.

I look up across the garden, and it’s lightly snowing. Inhaling the clean, cool air, I can smell everything—the dampness of the grass juxtaposed against the icy koi pond, the earthy bark of the trees and bamboo stalks, the precipitation hanging in the cold, cloudy atmosphere. It’s incredible. The first day of a new life.

When I’ve made my way to the kitchen, I peek my head inside. Five vampires are present—Haruka, Nino, Junichi, Asao and Sydney. They all come to a halt when they see me. I’m still giddy, but I calm myself and slowly walk toward the table. I feel like the outsider. I know I’m supposed to be a vampire now, and I do feel quite different, fundamentally. But I don’t think I belong here. No way.

I pull out a chair and sit beside Junichi. I want to reach over and hold his hand, but everyone is just watching me. It’s awkward. “Hello…”

“Are you feeling well?” Haruka asks. The young, queer, beautiful Japanese pope at the head of the table is looking at me with kind eyes. I have the urge to laugh at this description of him in my mind, but I clear my throat instead.

“I’m fine… Is everything alright? Have I done something wrong?”

“Of course not,” Haruka says. “Why do you think so?”

“I’m not sure. The atmosphere is a little tense?” I look over at Jun as I say this. He’s looking back at me. Onyx irises unreadable. He doesn’t say anything.

“Do you know what you are, Jae?” Nino asks.

“I’m a doctor,” I say automatically. “With anxiety—”

“No.” Haruka smiles. “Your rank, Jae. As a vampire.”

I blink. What is my rank? How the hell do I know? I’m so busy trying not to lean over and lick this delicious-smelling man beside me. If I could just lick him once, maybe I could concentrate on other things? I know I licked him earlier—but that was earlier.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “Is this something you feel?”

Haruka sits back at that, then looks at Nino. Nino smiles like he’s impressed.

“I guess you’re right,” Nino says. “When we’re born it’s just something we’re told by the vampires around us… I’ve never thought about that.”

“You’re purebred, Jae,” Haruka says simply. Then nothing else.

I heard the words—and the fact that he said my name afterward. But it doesn’t feel like he’s talking to me. I’m a doctor, with odd reactions to high-ranked vampires. Also, I like to drink Jun’s blood. Also, I like to lick him… and sleep with him. That’s all. Me in a nutshell. Oh, and I’m bisexual. But unless you’re planning to date me, that’s really none of your business.

“Jae? Did you hear me?” Haruka asks.